Monthly Archives: March 2008

Roma V Man-U, Ch’tis Not Happy, Fans Beaten as River Plate Wins, Sparta-Slavia Riot.

Damn…must be the season. The Italian Po-Po are locked and loaded for what’s bound to be a hooligans-gone-crazy-kinda day in Rome tomorrow. The Champions League quarterfinal, first leg match between AS Roma and Manchester United will be guarded by 1,400 officers…Captain of my Italian hormones, Francesco Totti, will not grace the field with his sexy Bono-esq self because he is suffering from a (gulp) ‘thigh-muscle-injury’. Wish I can say I’m to blame for it…Viva Roma.

Gotta love this…a group of Paris football fans started a shit storm when they unfurled a 25-meter banner reading: “Pedophiles, unemployed, inbreds: Welcome to the home of the Ch’tis” during the Paris PSG vs France’s Len match. Monday. (The banner refers to a film about the life of the Ch’tis, a nickname for the people of northern France.) President Nicolas Sarkozy, who was in the stands, ordered the banner to be removed…”The president wishes that this intolerable behavior will have the follow-up it deserves and will follow with great attention how the investigation progresses,” read a statement issued by Sarkozy’s office.

River Plate beat Arsenal de Sarandi 1-0 to go top of the Argentine Clausura championship on Sunday…and once again, victory comes with bloodshed. The “Barrabravas” are said to be ‘Argentina’s most notorious football fans” but seem to be a bunch of rejects if you ask me. The tough guys were having a ‘turf-war’ over ownership of the stadium terrace…and you think Raiders fans are nuts?

Wow, big surprise here too…no one could ever have guessed that a riot would break out at a Slavia and Sparta match-especially since they’ve had an opposing rivalry for what…um…over a century? Slavia Prague vs. Sparta Prague, the match ended 1-1.

As always, thanks for reading.

Juventus-Parma Postponed Due to Death, Sixers Walk for Autism, Carmelo Anthony Cake-Gate, Beach Soccer World Cup, Chelsea Putting Pressure on Man-U.

If you wanna dodge your chances of becoming Italian roadkill, I suggest you avoid soccer games and rest stops.The Juventus VS Parma match was postponed Sunday after a Parma fan was run over and killed by a bus at a highway rest stop. The 28-year-old fan, Matteo Bagnaresi, was run over by a bus apparently carrying Juve fans to the match. Both teams released the following statement: “Juventus and Parma, with the approval of the appropriate authorities, have decided to postpone the game as a sign of mourning for the incident involving the Parma fan that was traveling to the Turin stadium,” the statement said. “Since it was a tragic fatality, the two clubs decided that the conditions were not right to send the teams out on the field.” Hmm, not sure what’s going on with the rest stops in Italy, but remember last November? A Lazio fan was shot and killed by a cop at a highway rest stop, sparking riots throughout the country.

April is Austism awareness month? If it weren’t for Sixers ambassador World B. Free or sexy beast Andre Iguodala stretching and talking to kids, I may have missed this beautiful tidbit buried under scores and stats…the Philadelphia 76ers are going to participate the first annual Autism Speaks Walk Night fundraiser (Walk Now for Autism) on Wednesday, April 9…and HeARTs for Autism is promoting the 76ERs game on Saturday April 5, 2008 for an awareness, resource and fundraising event. Today, all the hotties wore specially designed practice jerseys that will be signed, donated and later auctioned off for Autism Speaks as part of the event on April 9.

So another mouthwatering event went down on the 28th. My beautiful Melo…Carmelt-in-my-mouth…Sweet Melon…Carmelo Anthony…coached a team of kids belonging to servicemen currently deployed in Iraq…and once again it leads me to beg the question: Anyone got a kid I can borrow? At least maybe I could have finagled my way into Melo’s sons birthday party? Baby Kiyan turned 1 on March 7th…but looks as if daddy Melo might need a new chef? Daniel Paul Young was en route to baby K’s bday party on March 15, when the po-po pulled him over for running a stop sign. He had a suspended license, no proof of insurance and was behind on child support-so obviously, Young was taken to jail. But in the back of his car was baby K’s bday cake: Officer Michael Broadhead recounted to tragic event: “He said, ‘Can I have someone come by and pick up the cake?’ ” Broadhead said. ” ‘It’s supposed to go to Carmelo Anthony’s son’s birthday.’ “The officer said, ‘sure.’ ” Someone made a phone call, a friend stopped by “and we released the cake to the guy,” Broadhead said. Young was released on $1,000 bond the next day. And oddly enough, this bozo has been credited with improving Melo’s diet? ‘He has prepared foods that fit nicely into Baltimore-reared Anthony’s routine, lower-fat higher-protein versions of crab cakes, stuffed chicken breasts and the like. The goal is to keep Anthony at about 8 percent body fat as he grinds through the long basketball season.’ Pa-leeze, I got your 8-percent-high-protein-low-fat-version of a crab cake right here Melo.

Anyone catch the action as Senegal beat Cameroon in the FIFA Beach Soccer World Cup 2008 Qualifier Final at the Bay of Plenty Beach in Durban? (Didn’t think so) Finalists will represent their respective countries in the upcoming World Cup tournament in France later this year…my money is on Senegal who crushed Cameroon 12-6 while being crowned the new African champions.

Chelsea beat Middlesbrough 1-0 to cut Manchester United’s lead at the top of the Barclays Premier League table to five points…

As always, thanks for reading.

Mutombo Gets $500k for Foundation, Nene Returns, LeBron James Dismisses King Kong Comparison, Tony Romo and Justin Timberlake Tee Off for Golf Digest

Rockets owner Leslie Alexander knows Dikembe Mutombo’s value on and off the court. That’s why on Wednesday he handed Mutombo a $500,000 donation for his foundation and used their annual Tux & Tennies Charity Gala to benefit the foundation and the Biamba Marie Mutombo Hospital that Dikembe Mutombo built in the Democratic Republic of the Congo. “When Dikembe asked me to use this as an event for his cause, he showed me a video of people in Africa going to a hospital,” Alexander said Thursday. “They bring their own mattress. They walk in. There’s nobody there. There’s no drugs. There’s no medicine. There’s no facilities. There’s nothing. When you’re sick, you know how sad you are. I could just imagine in America walking into that same thing, how horrible they would feel. It shakes your bones. It (Wednesday’s donation) meant a great deal. It meant he could buy many goods and medicines for the people of the Congo. He is part of the Rocket family. To help him was really special.” So special, in fact, that former President George H.W. Bush spoke at the event. “There’s not many times people can get an occasion to have a former president to be the guest speaker for a function,” Mutombo said. “I think I was lucky enough to have that relationship and to have Les Alexander host this dinner and to make the gift to the Dikembe Mutombo Foundation…I just want to thank God for all His blessings,” he said. “I was very emotional seeing all my family members, my friends, my fans and the owner…you don’t get too many special nights like this. I’m just so happy, and I’m very lucky.” He said he hoped fans would think of him as someone who did his best both on the court and off. “As someone who made a difference,” he said. Done, done and done…to me, Dikembe is the Bono of the NBA, with T-Mac playing Edge…(Houston.chron)

Big beautiful sexy Denver Nugget Nene may have only played in the final 77 seconds of the Nuggets/Mavs game last night, but it was the fact that he played which was cause for celebration. The Brazilian beast returned to the court just 2 1/2 months after he underwent surgery to remove a malignant testicular tumor. “Everybody was excited to see Nene back out there, just to see him back in his uniform, seeing him smile again after the stuff he’s been through,” said Sweet Melon…In the locker room afterward, Nene was all smiles. “I survived, I’m still here,” he said. “I’m a new man, stronger than ever, I just say, ‘Thank you, everybody.”’

Tony Romo, Just Timberlake, and NBC’s Matt Lauer, will play in the Golf Digest Open Challenge, a cool little promo that gives an average golfer the chance to play Torrey Pines the weekend before the U.S. Open. Golf Digest received close to 56,000 entries and have narrowed the field down to five finalists who have best demonstrated their desire, passion, and determination to play Torrey Pines South Course under U.S. Open conditions while NBC cameras track the delicious Romo-Timberlake-Lauer foursome. You can cast your vote on to determine which of the five amateur finalists gets the spot. Romo tried to qualify for the U.S. Open in 2005 and ’07 but didn’t make the cut. “People probably don’t realize that this will be just as exciting for Justin, Matt and I as it is for the average guy who plays with us,” says Romo. “I love competition and challenges like this. This is what I live for when it comes to fun.” Romo, who played golf with Timberlake last year said, “Justin’s a solid player who consistently hits the ball pretty straight. The difficult part for this test will be length. One thing Justin has going for him is he has a good short game, so he’ll be able to get up and down even when he misses a few shots.”

I gotta admit, I didn’t even think of King Kong when I saw the cover. In fact, I thought it was a pretty lame photo. One might hope that the first black athlete to grace the cover of Vogue Magazine would be wearing a suit, no? So maybe, just maybe, the outrage from the African American community isnt so unfounded? Before you dismiss this as hypersensitive bullshit, just take a few minutes to really think about it, and understand why it’s offensive to a large portion of the community. And take a look at the dress Gisele is wearing? Coincidence? I think not. In a column at, Jemele Hill called the cover “memorable for all the wrong reasons.” But she said in an interview that the image is not unusual, white athletes are generally portrayed smiling or laughing, while black sports figures are given a “beastly sort of vibe.” And yeah, this girl loves that beastly sorta vibe, but not when it offends, and not when its dismissed or belittled by the asshole portraying ‘King Kong.’ Yes, Im calling Lebron James an asshole (yet again)- his selfishness is beyond ugly. James told The (Cleveland) Plain Dealer he was pleased with the cover, saying he was just showing a little emotion. “Everything my name is on is going to be criticized in a good way or bad way,” James told the paper: “Who cares what anyone says?” Who cares? Maybe all those little kids who look up to you? Maybe all those parents and fans who are buying your custom kicks for $5k a pair? Maybe the fans who shell out cash for your jersey? This latest stint by LeLame only reaffirms my opinion that he is completely worthless off-the-court. (And no, his age doesn’t factor into this argument for me) It also doesn’t matter whether or not you or I find the cover offensive…Lebron should have taken this opportunity to represent his race instead of posing like, well, King Kong.

As always, thanks for reading.

Home from Paradise

I’m back from vacation…where I didn’t pay any attention to Lewis Hamilton placing fifth in Malaysia…Roger Federer losing yet again…Tiger Woods cussing out the photogs at the WGC-CA Championship on Sunday…Chris Webber retiring…or LeBron James pissing off the African American community for his King-Kong-like pose on the cover of Vogue…

One thing that made my ovaries dance upon retuning from paradise came via YouTube user Elvis 2011, who earns mad love for sending me some kitty-sporn…U2 and Camilo Villegas tapping into my Desire.

That’s all my hung-over, tan, relaxed soul can lay down today.

As always, thanks for reading.

Cuban Defectors, South Korean Soccer Madness, Hornets Do Top Hats and High Tops, Drogba and Totti

Mama is taking the rest of the month off…It’s V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N time!

Seven Cuba soccer players deserted the under-23 team, sending a major blow to Cuba as they make a run for the Beijing Olympics…The would-be defectors disappeared from their hotel while the team was in Florida to compete in an 2008 Olympic qualifying tournament…boys, if you are reading this, you have a beachfront safe-house waiting for you in San Diego.

North Korean leader Kim Jong has pissed his peeps off something fierce…and I don’t blame em. Protester rallied in front of the National Policy Agency in Seoul, South Korea, Friday, March 14 because the two Koreas will play their World Cup soccer qualifier in China instead of North Korea as originally planned.

The New Orleans Hornets held their annual Top Hats and High Tops gala at the Audubon Zoo in N.O. last night. All proceeds from the event benefit the Shinn Foundation, which was established to provide financial support for numerous Hornets’ community initiatives, including Hoops for Homes and Read to Achieve….yeah, great…charity, love it…but ballers in suits? Game on. “This is such a unique fund-raising event because our players and coaches go out of their way to make the evening special for our guests,” said Hornets Owner George Shinn. “It’s such a fun atmosphere, and all proceeds will benefit local charities in the New Orleans area, especially our Hoops for Homes initiative.” Not surprisingly, the event was sold out.

I couldn’t have written a more ideal script for one of my twisted fantasies…Didier Drogba is again rumored to be leaving Chelsea-this time because he earns about half of what captain John Terry does- (which is a crime if you ask me-sorry Ang)…anyway, that’s neither here nor there…my goal-producing-Ivory-Coast-dream-beast is being shopped by AC Milan, Real Madrid, Inter, Barcelona, and (gulp) AS Roma… “I’d welcome some foreign signings here. I’d take Drogba immediately from London. I’d love it if we could get players of his class,” said Francisco Totti. Kill me now. Drogba and Totti on the same team? Now that’s what I call a seriously sexy concept.

As always, thanks for reading.

Lewis Hamilton Prepares for Melbourne, Darren Fletcher Attacked by Toilet Door, Andrew Symonds Streaker Update, Rafa No Top-A, Love for Tracey McGrady

“We’ve been working very, very hard through winter making sure the training’s even better but also preparing the car,” said Lewis Hamilton. The squeaky British F1 babe is gearing up for the new Formula One season by splashing about in the surf at Williamstown Beach in Melbourne, playing with boomerangs, crossing swords (?), chatting up the girls, racing kayaks with his new teammate Heikki Kovalainen and hanging out with KISS.
Kovalainen: “We have left no stone unturned in terms of preparation for this season,” said the Finnish babe. “I am very excited about being in Australia – but this weekend I will be completely focused. I’m determined to start the race well, my goal is to get pole position,’ he added. The Finn didn’t get his ‘pole’ during the kayak race, as Hamilton finished in first, beating not only Heikki, but V8 Supercar drivers Craig Lowndes and Jamie Whincup as well.

When Manchester United’s Darren Fletcher needed to use the bathroom I’m sure he expected it to be a private moment. Unfortunately it wasn’t. The beast was chillen in the bathroom after last week’s 1-0 win, when the stall-door apparently fell from its hinges and busted open his head. “’It seems that there was something seriously wrong with the toilet door. I don’t know if fittings had come loose or what – but when Darren went to open the door, it came away and clobbered him. It looked very, very nasty,” said a witness, “I saw blood pouring out and the medical staff had to treat him there and then. I know he got stitches. He looked pretty dazed and pretty shocked. It was a nasty wound but it could have been worse. The other players were looking about scratching their heads in disbelief but at least medical staff were right there on the spot. You don’t expect a door to just fall on you.”

This photo will never get old or lose its appeal…luckily, Andrew Symonds will not face any sanctions for pummeling the streaker with a ‘shoulder charge’ during an international against India. However the streaker, Robert Ogilvie, was fined 1,500 Australian dollars and charged with wilful exposure and interfering with a sports event. He pleaded guilty, saying he was dared to run on the field naked by his friends and it felt “great” to be smacked by Symonds.

The Pacific Life Open begins on today…

Gave some love to Tracy McGrady for his charity work…check it out on Look to the Stars.

As always, thanks for reading.

Mark Cuban Is An Idiot, Roddick Skips Olympics, Star Struck Fernando Verdasco, John Daly in ‘Owls Nest’

Mark Cuban is so full of himself…The reject has banned bloggers from the Mavericks locker room because he doesn’t take the time to read anyone else’s blog aside from his own. Cuban wrote on his blog: “I want to treat them all the same. Unfortunately, there isn’t enough room to allow any and all bloggers in the locker room. There also are no standards that I have been able to come up with that differentiate between bloggers to the point where I should or should not credential one versus the other.” Huh? There are so many things wrong with what he said that it would take me days to write it all out.
TrueHoop’s Henry Abbott exchanged emails with Cuban and seems to have addressed the issues- Abbott: “If a blogger had $100[M] they could start their own paper, and according to your rules, make it to the locker room. And I’m not sure you can demonstrate that newspapers, with all their standards, are more accurate than the best bloggers. The only difference is the platform.” Cuban responded: “We have to set limits somewhere, right? Should every blogger be allowed in? And when there are 25 of them, how do we decide who gets in or not? If they need access to a player, they can get an interview. It just won’t happen in a locker room.” Seriously Mark Cuban, for someone I thought was smart, you just hit every idiot branch while falling ouuta the tree.

I really don’t care what his reasons are, I’m just happy to hear that Andy Roddick will skip the Beijing Olympics. He didn’t mention anything about Darfur or the air quality, just that he’d rather defend his title at the Washington Classic, which is held the same week as the Olympic event.

It always makes me laugh when I see “star-struck” hotties…case in point, ATPer Fernando Verdasco making the rounds during the Raptors/Lakers game.

What the hell is everyone so surprised about? Why this unfair bitch-slap of John Daly? So Daly’s swing coach fires him because he claims Daly is more interested in drinking than improving his game. Really, Daly likes to drink?
According to various reports Daly missed his pro-am time at the Arnold Palmer Invitational one day after he was fired by his swing coach. Harmon said he worked with Daly three times this season, including at the PODS Championship, where Daly spent a 2 1/2-hour rain delay drinking and signing autographs inside the Hooters “Owls Nest” corporate tent. Drinking during a rain delay? Surely he must have done something worse than that…oh wait…there it is-…”signing autographs, including one on the back of a woman’s pants.” God bless ‘em…seems to me that the good old boys ain’t too happy about one of the least attractive men in golf getting all the Owl to himself…if this were Villegas, Scott, Haig or another fine-ass golfer, they wouldn’t be screaming foul, they’d be in the tent drinking with em.

That’s all I got for ya today…its about 80 degrees outside and mama needs a tan.
As always, thanks for reading.

Lewis Hamilton at Tag Heuer Museum, Shaq Landing, Stephen Jackson & John Legend ‘Show Me’, Props to Tony Stewart’s Mouth, Design Your Question

Lewis Hamilton and Tag Heuer make a great couple…our Formula One babe helped the Swiss watchmaker inaugurate the world’s first 360 Degree Watchmaking Museum (by Tag Heuer). More than 250 journalists and VIPs from around the globe, joined Hamilton and TAG CEO Jean-Christophe Babin at TAG Heuer’s eco-efficient headquarters, where the energy-saving architecture allows external and natural light to flow seamlessly throughout the building from the entrance to the roof via the elevator tubes and the office windows. Check out the video on their website, its actually really, really cool-plus you’ll see Hamilton sign and donate last years helmet, work the crowd, and study watches on display-all of which is set to some funky porno-music. Priceless-or should I say-timeless?
“It’s absolutely breathtaking,” said Hamilton, a longtime TAG Heuer Ambassador who should be placed in a museum himself. “The museum showcases TAG Heuer’s incredible achievements in watch making and sports – especially motor racing, where it is always been more actively and legitimately engaged than any other watch brand. I am very proud to be here tonight as TAG Heuer has been supporting me for years, even before racing in F1. We share a strong human bond and the same values of prestige, sport and performance.” Heads up kids…Formula One Season Opener: Melbourne. March 16.

Okay. I officially love Sunny Shaq. During the Suns thrashing of the San Longoria Spurs, (94-87) Daddy was fouled and floored, when Tim Duncan attempted to help him up-but- a beautiful moment- Shaq ignores Duncan, opting instead to wait for Stave Nash to offer his hand…moments later, Shaq almost crushes a kid in the stands…even if you don’t like hoops, it was priceless. Watch the video.

Grammy babe John Legend (above) has gotten some Golden State love from beast Stephen Jackson for an auction to benefit not only my libido but Legends ‘Show Me Campaign’ as well. The mission of Legend’s Show Me Campaign is “to fight economic and spiritual poverty through fostering sustainable development at the individual, family and small community levels”…The auction starts today and runs to March 17…the winning bidder will receive a VIP package for two which features…Two lower level tickets to the March 21, 2008 Golden State Warriors vs. Houston Rockets game; Post-game meet & eat greet and photo opportunity with John Legend and Stephen Jackson at limited-access VIP reception (limited access?); Pre-game behind the scenes and locker-room tour; (will the players be in the locker room?); Two-night stay at the luxurious W Hotel San Francisco (hotties Not included); Round-trip ground transportation from hotel to the game, (better be a limo) and two $500 airline gift cards.

Reebok is giving Allen Iverson fans the chance to design their own version of his signature kicks. The Question 3 has launched on Reebok’s custom site, where you can customize every inch of the shoe…you can even put your name on the back of em…look for more than 20 Reebok NBA babes, including Baron Davis, Jamal Crawford and Jason Terry to be sporting their own Question 3’s in their team colors…

And just for the record…tomorrow is my birthday so I’m taking the day off.

As always, thanks for reading.


Can’t we all just get along? It looks like we may need a congressional hearing to determine exactly what Trip Isenhour’s (above) intentions were when he took aim at the Hawk. “It was unfortunate, but there’ll be plenty of time for me to tell my story,” Isenhour said on the Golf Channel’s PODS Championship, his first interview since news broke that he killed the protected bird. “It’s one of regret and remorse that it happened, because I’m certainly sorry to hurt a migratory bird, or any bird for that matter.” The Humane Society is of course chiming in-not that I disagree-Isenhour should fined, suspended, whatever- but come on people- let’s check our moral compass. We’ve all been annoyed by a cackling bird before, so it’s not hard to imagine that a professional golfer would take aim at the hawk in attempts to shut it up- but we aren’t talking about dogs here, it is a bird. I’m not dismissing it- dude is an asshole-but do we really need Favre-like coverage of this?
I live in a small beach community that is also home to flocks of wild parrots. The plump birds start swaking their brains out before dawn-essentially dividing this town into two groups: ‘love the parrots’ or ‘hate the parrots.’ Many of my friends have voiced their aggravation by proclaiming “Im gonna kill those fucking parrots” over Sunday brunch. So there’s no doubt in my mind that Isenhour chased that poor hawk down (don’t tell me it was a lucky shot) in attempts to shut it up. But really, don’t we have better things to talk about, like say…how English babe Nick Dougherty (above) handled the heat during the Maybank Malaysian Open in Kuala Lumpur?

Or…the beautiful game when David Beckham gave this kid his jersey after the Galaxy lost 5-4 today at the Honk Kong Stadium…

Or…AS Roma captain Francesco Totti with Aquilani after scoring a penalty goal during the Napoli versus Roma in Naples…

Or those poor fools who were hurt and stabbed during the brawl at Deportiva Cali V America de Cali soccer game? At least 80 people were wounded after “clashes broke out” between the rivals in the 82nd minute of the match…hooligans lit flares and police fired tear gas to try to control the crowds-which spread onto the field and around the Pascual Guerrero stadium…

As always, thanks for reading.

Andy Roddick Wins Dubai Without Connors, Roger Federer Loves Excuses, How to Meet David Beckham, Bay Area Beard-Off, Orlando Magic Builds Playground

Its currently 76 in Dubai, with sunny skies, a relative humidity of 69% and NW winds shifting SSW at 10 to 15 mph throughout the day…I felt bad for our tennis babes for about five seconds- thinking how it must suck to play in the heat- and then I saw the photos. Heat is our friend.
Andy Roddick wrecked havoc on my hormones last week after acing our Rafael Nadal outta the tournement. “I knew I was going to hit it well, from the first point. I kind of let it fly, and that’s what it took tonight,” Roddick said. He even snuck in one ace that was 149.75 mph, breaking the Dubai serve record he set a day earlier…then Roddick downed Novak Djokovic without coach Connors-who he broke up with about a month ago, “He’s helped my backhand a ton. I mean, it’s a different shot than when we got together,” Roddick said. “It’s a lot more solid…I spent the week after Wimbledon almost as close to depressed as I’ve been as far as my career goes. And I really credit him for that spark and getting me back into the top five and in a Slam final pretty close there afterwards…I guess I’m just happy,” Roddick said, “to have been able to spend a little bit of time with such a legend.” And today, Roddick faced Lopez in the final…

…where hot-stuff produced one of his best performances to win the Dubai Open title with a 6-7 (8/10) 6-4, 6-2 win over Lopez.

Just when I think I’ve been too hard on the Swiss Mister he goes and pulls a stunt like this. No, Im not talking about the upcoming exhibition match between Roger Federer and Pete Sampras (Monday night, Madison Square Garden)…Im talking about his undetected “mono” that “affected” his play. “Roger found out he had mono, and didn’t know it. He found out a couple of weeks ago. That’s probably what was wrong with him,” Federer’s agent, Tony Godsick, said Friday. “He doesn’t want to make any excuses and take anything away from anybody. In hindsight, had (his doctors) known he had mono, they wouldn’t have let him play.” Unfortunately, that statement does take away from Djokovic who wiped the court with R-Fed at the Auzzie Open in January, and Murray who crushed R-Fed at the first round in Dubai. “This gave him a reason for why he wasn’t able to move and why he wasn’t able to recover,” Godsick said. “It was annoying for him to not have reasons for why his body wasn’t responding.” It’s called a SLUMP…so pa-lease, don’t try to tell me that one of the worlds most elite athletes didnt have a qualified doctor around to tell him he had mono…

Wanna meet Sir Golden Balls and yank that cute little beanie off his head with your teeth? Well now you can. Bidding started March 4th and runs through March 18 on a meet and eat greet with David Beckham…yes, the Charity Folks have Beckham up for bids, along with Landon Donovan and Cobi Jones…the winning bidder will receive an intimate meet-and-greet photo op with David Beckham; meet-and-greets with Landon Donovan and Cobi Jones; a David Beckham autographed jersey; 2 VIP field seats to an LA Galaxy game; a pregame tour of the stadium; access to a luxury box party with open bar and food; 2 night hotel accommodations in a deluxe room; round-trip domestic airfare for 2; ground transportation to and from the game and a lifetime of sweet dreams….

“If the playground brings a smile to the faces of all the kids here, that’s better than any dunk, winning any slam-dunk contest, could be,” said Dwight Howard. “It’s good for everyone.” The Orlando Magic shut down its offices Friday (except for the team practice) and sent about 200 employees and team hotties to spend the day building a playground at the Santa Barbara Apartments in Winter Park Florida yesterday…it was done in conjunction with KaBOOM, the Washington D.C.-based non-profit organization and obviously the Magic, who paid the tab and provided all of the labor.

My favorite bearded Bay Area bloggers are calling for some serious action: “In protest of the lack of Warrior representation at the all-star festivities and in the name of the two-month dash to the Western Conference playoffs, I stopped shaving two and a half weeks ago” writes one of the founding Beards, Turman. “It’s on. Boom Dizzle himself is sponsoring a beard-growing contest at It’s going down BD. I’m not only going to give you solid run for beardosity, I am officially laying down a challenge to the entire Bay Area: beard up.” No word yet on whether Owen Wilson and DeRay Davis were attending the Warriors / Heat game because they’re fans of Boom Dizzle or if they just wanted to see the progression of his beard.

As always, thanks for reading.

Tripp Isenhour Birdies a Hawk

Oh no he didn’t…PGA Tour golfer Trip Isenhour has landed himself on the Universal Asshole List…idiot was with a film crew for “Shoot Like A Pro” last December at the Grand Cypress Golf course, when according to court documents, he got upset when a red-shouldered hawk began making noise, forcing him to do another take…caw-caw…he began hitting balls at the bird, then 300 yards away, but gave up…caw-caw…the hawk then moved within 75 yards…caw-caw…and Isenhour allegedly said “I’ll get him now,” and aimed for the hawk…Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission officer Brian Baine: “About the sixth ball came very near the bird’s head, and (Isenhour) was very excited that it was so close,” Baine wrote. A few shots later…caw-caw…witnesses said he hit the hawk. The bird, protected as a migratory species, fell to the ground bleeding from both nostrils. (Yes, birds have nostrils)
So what the hell was the film crew doing during the murder? “He just kept saying how he didn’t think he could have hit it, which I think is a stupid thing for a PGA Tour golfer to say,” said an ever stupider Jethro Senger, a sound engineer at the shoot. “He can put a ball in a hole from hundreds of yards away, and here he is hitting line drives at something that’s, I don’t know, a couple hundred feet away?” Yet everyone just stood around watching Isenhour attempt to down the annoying bird. “It was one of those cases where there’s some trepidation on whether or not they should speak up and do something,” Senger said. (And with that statement, Senger and the rest of the crew earn a spot on the list) The bird was buried during a private ceremony at the golf course and later dug up by CSI investigators to determine if the poor cackler was indeed killed by the impact of the ball…Isenhour has been charged with cruelty to animals and killing a migratory bird. (Maximum penalty: 14 months in jail and $1,500 in fines.)

As always, thanks for reading.

Aid Still Required, Champions League, Beckham Gets Sharpie, Team Oden, Roller Soccer, Save Boom Boom


The crisis in Darfur has finally made it all the way to the N-B-A- via Kobe Bryant, Steve Nash, Grant Hill, Baron Davis, Derek Fisher, Emeka Okafor, Matt Barnes, Andrew Bynum, Ira Newble, Eric Snow, Luol Deng and others…Aid Still Required is determined to make sure we are all aware of the conflict in Darfur by filming a set of PSA’s starring our super-fine-big-hearted-ballers. “We believe everyone, everywhere is entitled to live in dignity, health and peace,” said Hunter Payne co-founder of Aid Still Required. “The people of Darfur have been utterly denied this. Villagers are being systematically tortured, disfigured and slaughtered. Collectively we have the means to stop the violence and to restore their lives. Who are we if we stand idly by and watch yet another genocide take place? We must act and we must act now before more unspeakable atrocities take place.” Get involved people!

AS Roma babes, led by Francesco Totti (C), have assured us that there will be Italian representation in the final eight of the Champions League, after spanking Real Madrid 2-1…Totti, in an ‘are-you-kidding-me-moment’, attempted to comfort Fabio Cannavaro…our Chelsea babes also advanced to the quarterfinals after beating Olympiakos 3-0 Wednesday, goals compliments of Lampard, Ballack and Kalou, but I had to run a photo of John Terry with his shirt off because its been a while since my eyes have seen his pasty-hotness. Arsenal, Man-U, L’Pool and Barca have also made it to the final eight.

Just what David Beckham needs- another endorsement deal. Sharpie has found a spot alongside adidas, Georgio Armani, Pepsi, Motorola and Coty (among others), as one of David Beckham’s latest sponsors. The two-year deal marks the largest global integrated campaign in Sharpie’s history and includes Sir Golden Balls acting as their global ambassador…plus, if you’re felling lucky, a worldwide promo will be held in which one fan will win a meet-and-greet with the beast.

Gotta give a massive shout-out to actor Luigi DeBiasse (not pictured) who I chatted with during the WPT last weekend. If you haven’t noticed yet, I’m sometimes outta the ‘actor’ loop, so I had no idea who this beast was until I Googled him- in any case; Luigi tipped me off to one of the coolest sports around-Roller Soccer. Luigi said this sport has all the necessary ingredients to be the next big thing and I couldn’t agree more- there’s even a RollerSoccer World Cup in SF this August (where it first started in 1995) and hotties around the world have plied their skills at this beautiful union of wheels and balls. Check it out…

Greg Oden was selected first overall draft by the Portland Trail Blazers in June of 2007, and in September his NBA career was put on hold due to an injury, which has him benched for the remainder of the season. So what’s a baller to do with all this free time? Give back, of course. Yesterday, Oden launched ‘Team Oden,’ a program designed to help attract volunteers to Oregon Mentors. The cool thing about this is that Oden has purchased a block of tickets to each Trail Blazers home game for mentors and mentees, plus, his Team Oden logo is classic-his silhouette holding a ball above two children: “It’s kind of mean.” Oden said, “I’m not even giving them the ball!” (

Who knew? The oldest gay bar in the western US is located in Laguna Beach, and in late 2005, the landmark Boom Boom Room dance club and the adjoining Coast Inn were sold to make way for an 11-room hotel and restaurant…and there’s nothing like the destruction of a historical landmark to get people fired up. Joining the likes of George Clooney and Brad Pitt, basketball greats Dennis Rodman and John Amaechi are the latest kats to voice their support to save the landmark gay bar in Laguna Beach. Help save the Boom

As always, thanks for reading.

Dubai Tennis Players Party, Beckham Creates Chaos in Shanghai, Cricket Streaker, John McEnroe Eats Bran, Kobe Bryant as Mozart, Da Vinci & Einstein.

Hotties at the Dubai Tennis Championships are really feeding us some good stuff…Rafael Nadal started off shaky Tuesday, but was able to avoid an early Federer-ish upset after spanking German Phillipp Kohlschreiber 3-6, 6-1, 6-4. “It was a tough match,” Nadal said. “I didn’t play my best, that’s true, but it’s not easy playing here. Every player is a big player, one of the toughest draws on the tour for sure.” During the player’s party, a magician performed tricks for Nadal, Andy Murray made handprints, but Andy Roddick only needed to give us a happy-wipe during his match to land a spot on my blog.

Roma will play Real Madrid, Wednesday in a 2nd leg round of 16 Champions League soccer match. That’s all…

Every time I read about Beckham mania, I’m reminded of when he was still with Real Madrid and the team played an exhibition game here in the States- Beck’s went to a Footlocker to buy a pair of kicks for his son and no one even recognized him…anyway, gone are those days…
Golden Balls visited young leukemia patients at the Xinhua hospital today in Shanghai, but it didn’t go quite so well outside the hospital. Police struggled to clear people away from the ward’s main entrance, holding up Beckham’s car for at least 15 minutes, and causing a wave of chaos that forced the po-po to seal off several of the hospital’s entrances. They even blocked ‘alleged’ patients from getting in to see their doctors. “I want to see a doctor,” screamed one woman as the police refused her entry (Good try sister). Organizers were even forced to cancel a donation ceremony scheduled to take place outside the hospital.

But in the end, it was all for the kids. And gotta say, Becks looks genuinely happy as he spreads the love to these needy little ones. In case you’ve been in a coma: the Los Angeles Galaxy will play a soccer match against Shanghai on Wednesday.

In ew-gross-no-you-didn’t-news…John McEnroe is promoting Kellogg’s All-Bran cereal, where he offers “tips and inspirational messages for the 10-day path to a regular life on All Bran’s Web site”…so gross, why is he telling us about his bowel movements? For example his tips include: “Who knew No. 2 could feel this good.” And: “Personally, I feel better when I let it all out.” Seriously, I didn’t make this up.

Great marketing efforts from Zambezi Ink, of Venice, CA, who created, directed and produced the five-spots of the Genius campaign for Kobe Bryant’s new signature Nike shoe, the Zoom Kobe III.
You can watch the spots as they roll out on Kobe’s official site. Props to Kobe for one upping LeBron…Kobe as Leonardo Da Vinci, Amadeus Mozart, George Washington Carver and Albert Einstein. Priceless. “We wanted a way to talk directly about the shoe while showing Kobe as you’ve never seen him,” said Ford, creative director and co-founder. “So he embodies geniuses of the past to reflect the genius of the Zoom Kobe III. Plus, seeing Einstein and the rest of them totally ball out is funny to me.”

I’ve said it before and Ill say it again, god bless the naked men who upset the over-seas games. Australia’s cricket player Andrew Symonds had his eye on the ball as he took down this poor kat during the second final in the one-day series cricket match in Brisbane.

As always, thanks for reading.

6th Annual World Poker Tour Invitational

signed table from world poker tour invitational
D&D hit up the WPT Invitational at the Commerce Casino this weekend for their annual three-day celebrity event that raises money for various charities. Look for my in-depth ‘professional’ article on Look to the Stars this week, but in the meantime, I’m going give you the run down on our shenanigans.

nicholas gonzaleznicolas_gonzalez
There were a ton of celebrities in attendance. Granted, I was a bit rusty as far as who some of these people were, but by the end of the event, it was pretty easy to remember who they were and which charities they really care about. One of the most impressive people I met was actor Nicholas Gonzalez. Aside from the fact that he is drop-dead gorgeous, he isn’t just another pretty face. Gonzalez was playing for Friends of El Faro, an organization that helps needy kids and families in Tijuana. “One of the biggest proponents is Molly Simms, Shannon Elizabeth, Adam Rodriguez, and Sharon Lawrence has been a really huge supporter-there’s a lot of celebrity friends,” said Gonzalez, “We used to have big gala in Hollywood that’s very well attended, but really it’s about getting down there, it’s not about who anybody is, it’s about spending time with the kids.”

Someone who isn’t spending a lot of time with the kids, but who deserves some love is comedian Doug Benson (L). If you don’t know of him yet, you will. Benson worked the red carpet like a pro, and needed a little prodding before mentioning his new movie “Super High Me.” Also on the red carpet was actor Justin Henry (R). Henry was filling in for Heath Ledger, who was scheduled to appear. “I’m playing for Heath,” he said as he posed for photos. To my disbelief, one of the photogs actually asked, “Who’s Heath?” Gotta give mad love to actor John Hawkes as well. Hawkes was knocked outta the poker tournement early on, so I spent some time chatting with him-unaware of who he was, but instantly fell in love with him. My new crush almost floored me when I asked which cause he was playing for. “The animals” he said, “I support Friends of Animals in Utah, they do great work for animals and I have been a supporter for a while.” I could have spent a week listening to John speak. (I felt like Gabriel Byrne on ‘In Treatment’ when he professes his love for Laura…)…

More love goes to Lakers beast Ronnie Turiaf. Turiaf has been coping with a heart aliment, but was in great spirits about it. “I’m feeling good,” he said, “You know, things happen for a reason, and I just try to make the best of it. God tests us all in different ways” And part of this ‘test’ includes a corroboration with NBA player/poet/humanitarian, Etan Thomas. Thomas recently underwent open-heart surgery. When I asked Turiaf what charity he was playing for, he dropped the bomb on me, “Right now, I’m working on putting together something with Etan Thomas so we can help others going through the same thing.” Damn-don’t tell me there ain’t any good guys in the NBA, we’ve got two of the best teaming up for a good cause…

And what would a WPT event be without the hottest poker player alive? Yes, I’m talking about Antonio Esfandiari. I’m predicting within a year he’ll be smiling at you from the pages of People Magazine as one of their ‘Hottest Men or Sexiest Men or Most Edible Eligible Men’…I waited like a cougar as he walked the carpet with Camryn Manheim…and then I pounced (Perhaps scaring him a bit? Sorry Antonio-did the same thing to Phil Laak). Antonio is far too humble about his sex appeal, which is a good thing, because he’s got a lot to offer as far as charisma, charm, eloquence…and dear god those lips…I had to stop myself from…anyway – dude was classy, no doubt making the WPT proud they selected him as the new face of the Tour…and don’t tell me poker players can’t be sexy unless they dress up. Case in point: Phil Laak. Sweatshirt. Hoodie. Just-crawled-outta-bed-sexy-blond-locks. He’s hot. He gave me a hug. It was a beautiful thing. End of story…look for Antonio and Phil on Mojo’s ‘I Bet You’ which just got picked up for another season. If you don’t have Mojo, you can check the show out on-line. Get on the boat people, Antonio and Phil are delicious and I have my own personal ‘Bet’ for either one should they dare take me up on it…

All in all it was an awesome event which raised money for charity and gave Debbie and I yet another excuse to do what we love…eat, drink, and be merry with like minded people…including: superfine actor Dwayne Adway, Eric Paladino, Jennifer Tilly, Joshua LeBar, Joshua Morrow, Lucas Haas, Tom Everett Scott…and more. I’ll post a link to all the photos later, as well as a link to my article on LTS, where you’ll be able to read about all the celebrities and which charities they were playing for.

As always, thanks for reading.