LIVERPOOL CAUGHT IN THE JAWS OF DEFEAT

AC Milan fans want their marbles back, the po-po are protesting, the riot police are out in full force and the Liverpool fans have proven themselves to be litter bugs…what a scene in Athens today.

Starting things off, retired head-butter, Zinedine Zidane graced the stadium with his hotness while giving out ‘footballs’ to young soccer fans. While outside the stadium, AC Milan fans were more interested in getting the Parthenon Marbles returned from the British Museum in London. Greek governments have lobbied Britain for two DECADES to secure the return of the Marbles, which were removed and taken to London during the Ottoman occupation of Greece by the British ambassador Lord Elgin. Sorry kids, but after two decades, I’d say concentrate on the marbles taking the field today and give up rescuing something that no one has any idea what you’re talking about.

Oh my Paolo Maldini. Those eyes…legs…lips…marbles…I guess I’d fight for two decades to keep Maldini and his legs on the field. I’d also fight for some Kaka and his luscious lips…these are men worthy of banners and decades of fighting for.

The first half was uneventful until Filippo Inzaghi got things started in the 44th minute when he took a pass from Pirlo (on a free kick) and slammed that beautiful ball into the net for a 1-0 AC Milan orgasmic lead. The second half: 82nd minute…Inzaghi again quiets Liverpool and makes it 2-0. Legendary would be an understatement. I dare the commentators to say ‘Liverpool is the best’ one more time. Liverpool was able to wipe some egg off their face with a goal in the 88th minute, but in the end, they couldn’t stop Paolo Maldini and his boys from grabbing the coveted trophy, and it seems that finally, AC Milan has been avenged.

Liverpool played their hearts out, and trust me, I’m not a fan but can give props when necessary. Sexy captain Steven Gerard and his pasty boys took so many shots on goal that I was sure they’d spank my hot-Italians. And when the camera panned to Peter Crouch, topless, getting ready to take the field, I was painfully reminded why I support AC Milan and not Liverpool. The Liverpool fans also gave me good reason to cheer for my Italian creatures. Clearly it’s a no brainer that AC Milan fans are much easier on the eyes than some Liverpool supporters.

For the seventh time in history, AC Milan are the Champions of Europe.

LEWIS HAMILTON GETS BLINGED

Now were talking…F1 rookie sensation, Lewis Hamilton is living the high life. Hamilton will be wearing Steinmetz diamonds on the side of his racing helmet during the Monaco Formula One Grand Prix. “I’m blinged out. I got bling on my helmet, how cool is that,” cooed the sexy 22-year-old rookie at a presentation organized by the diamond company, which is a McLaren team sponsor.

Both Hamilton, and double world champion teammate Fernando Alonso, will wear helmets with ‘Monaco 07′ written in white diamonds on the side. Both helmets will then be auctioned for charities chosen by the drivers. (Guardian)

ENOUGH WITH THE EXHIBITIONS

The only good thing that might come of this is if Pete Sampras can school the Swiss-Mister. At least that what I’d hope for. The current number one will face the former number one at the Venetian Macao Tennis Showdown, Saturday, November 24th in the People’s Republic of China. In the 2001 Wimbledon, Federer beat Sampras in the only match they previously played. Sampras holds the most Grand Slams (14), the most Wimbledon Titles, (7), and holds the record for the most number of weeks as world No 1, (286). Nick Freyer, senior vice president, IMG Tennis, Asia: “Roger contacted Pete in Los Angeles (of course he did!), and Pete invited him to play at his house. They hit a few balls, played some points then some sets. The scores were close and Pete was thrilled with the way he played. From this game the idea of a Tennis Showdown was born.” Of course it did! And how did the Swiss-Mister perform against Sampras at this friendly home-game? “The game was close and Pete was playing great tennis, but not good enough to beat me. I won’t be telling you the score though!” Federer said, “The tennis was so good that we felt it was a pity not to share the shots, energy, and excitement with the world one more time. We are both delighted to be visiting Asia and Macao and putting on a great game for our many fans in the region.” Translation: Federer needs to feed his ego.

As always, thanks for reading. Delinda
delinda@athlebrities.