MESMERIZED BY MALDINI

Captain Paolo Maldini is set to return for AC Milan in the Champions League final after being declared fit to play. He’s also been declared more than fit to play with my libido.

Andrea Pirlo and the AC Milan babes are fired up to battle those pasty Liverpudlians and claim their 7th European crown. “We are a great team and they will have to be on their guard not only because of me but because of the quality of the rest of my team-mates,” he said. “Likewise, we will have to be careful with Liverpool because they have great players too.” Liverpool should be afraid, especially of Brazilian beast (Ricardo) Kaka (above). The tasty midfielder struck three of Milan’s five goals in the semi-final tie against Manchester United and is currently the top scorer in the competition with 10 goals. “Kaka has been very important for us this season,” said Pirlo. “He has shown yet again what a great player he is.” Indeed! And there’s nothing like being in a pub full of Milan fans all chanting Kaka at the top of their lungs…just another reason why it is A Beautiful Game.

PGA CHARITY TOURNEMENT: ON LINE
World Golf Tour, in collaboration with PGA.com, today introduced the Beta version of its new online golf game with the launch of the PGA.com Charity Challenge Tournament. For the first time ever, we can get a taste of the worlds most authentic online golf experience and help children in need…On-line golf experience AND help kids? The month-long competition showcases World Golf Tour’s 3D photo technology, while benefiting three educational charities: Teach For America, Sheltering Arms and After-School All-Stars. Sponsors PGA.com, TaylorMade-adidas Golf, Walters Golf, Mandalay Bay, Hint Water, and Golfnow.com have teamed up with World Golf Tour to award $30,000 in prizes to participants of the challenge. Throughout the competition, 10 winners will receive prizes each day, including TaylorMade r7 Irons, TaylorMade Burner Drivers, adidas polo shirts, and a trip to Las Vegas with accommodations at Mandalay Bay – plus a round of golf at the Bali Hai Golf Club. The Grand Prize includes a trip for two to Hawaii, with four rounds of golf. Players can access the free game at: www.pga.com/home/contestsandpromotions/index.cfm.

The only thing missing is a 3D comparison of Camilo Villegas crawling. These two shots of our golf kitten at the Players illustrate just how consistent the beast is while lining up his shot. Notice the placement of his hands? Same grip on the (ah-hem) shaft, same placement of his perfectly sprawled fingers…just enough hip-lift to make us wonder what’s left between he and the green…the vein in his tan-strong bicep popping in exactly the same place…the look of concentration on his flawless face…I do belive our Camilo can do no wrong.

FINALLY

And not to ignore the other golf hottie who’s got a hold on my libido, Adam Scott. Looks like our Burberry babe is luring as many women to the greens as Villegas. Props to this mom for using her daughter effectively. Now will someone pa-leeze put on one of my cute Fore Play hoodies and get your ass on the green!

CLINTON PORTIS IS AN IDIOT
Yesterday, investigators failed to clear Michael Vick of involvement in his dog-fighting operation. Commonwealth’s Attorney Gerald G. Poindexter and investigators met at the Surry County Government Center to review evidence of the case for the first time. Brown said he didn’t expect an indictment to come this week, but the time frame for legal action would likely be “weeks, not months.” This week, there have been two people, of questionable intelligence, to actually support Vick on this. This first is Vicks neighbor, Ernest Hardy, who has lived in his doublewide trailer since 1973. “I have a natural gift for observing things,” Hardy said, “and I haven’t seen or heard any evidence of dog-fighting. If it had been going on, it seems like I should have heard something.” Key word: Doublewide trailer. Reason for his comments: Lets check his bank account and find out. (USA Today).

And then there is Clinton Portis. Portis’ recent comments on Michael Vick reflect a severe lack of intelligence. “I don’t know if he was fighting dogs or not, but it’s his property, it’s his dog,” Washington Redskins running back Clinton Portis told WAVY-TV in Virginia. “If that’s what he wants to do, do it. I think people should mind their business.” When told that dog fighting is a felony, Portis replied, “It can’t be too bad of a crime. You want to hunt down Mike Vick over fighting some dogs? I know a lot of back roads that have the dog fighting if you want to go see it,” he said. (Watch the video here). Throughout his comments, Portis is seen with another idiot, laughing and making light of the situation. Hello- there is a camera and microphone in front of you-it might not be the best time to support ILLEGAL dog fights. Clinton Portis is a complete idiot, and his comments proved it. Educate yourself before you open up your pie-hole again, pa-leeze.

BEST BUDDIES

This is definitely an event that Clinton Portis and Michael Vick could have benefited from. NFL poster child, Tom Brady made a smoking hot appearance at an event benefiting Anthony Kennedy Shriver’s Best Buddies International. The organization is dedicated to enhancing the lives of people with intellectual disabilities by providing opportunities for one-to-one friendships and integrated employment.

KARMA’S GONNA GET CHA

HA! LeBron James choked last night and was held to ten points as Sheedy and the Pistons delivered some karma to the Darfur-snubbing reject. Pistons take game one 79-76 of the NBA Eastern Conference finals.

As always, thanks for reading. Delinda
delinda@athlebrities.