HOTTIES CHECKED IN

It should be illegal to use the words “hotel” and “AC Milan” in the same sentence. But the gods are smiling upon us, and the smoking hot Milan babes have descended upon southern Athens (Greece) in preparation of the much-anticipated (UEFA) Champions League Final. Captain of my heart, Paulo Maldini, checked in, and as of today, he’s well enough to play what could be his last game. I’m fine with it as long as he continues his modeling career.

Thousands of AC Milan and Liverpool fans have already arrived in Athens amid major police security measures to deter those unruly hooligans. I’m willing to bet one million dollars on a massive riot prior to, and immediately following the match. I even heard that the police plan to protest on Wednesday, leaving the fans to fend for themselves. (Hence my reason for skipping this game in person). And in case you’re not in the loop, this isnt just a match, it’s THE match to watch. In 2005, Milan faced Liverpool and was ahead 3-0 at halftime. Liverpool answered back on penalty kicks and AC Milan was humiliated. For millions of Milan fans, this is a blood game rooted in revenge, and its gonna be one a hell of a final.

BEATE UHSE

Now this is a company I’d like to do business with. Namely, to purchase some of their recently pulled items. Beate Uhse is a sex-chain shop which, prior to last years World Cup, produced a special brand of beer called ‘69’. The beer contains an extract of Muira Puama, an ‘aphrodisiastic plant’ from the Amazon. And now, the good peeps at the shop have just settled a lawsuit with Michael Ballack and Oliver Khan. The company marketed two vibrators under the name “Michael B” and “Olli-K”. While they deny naming the wonderful toys after our Chelsea babe Ballack, or Bayern Munich’s goalkeeper, they still removed the items from their shelves and paid the big boys off. The 6.7 inch long vibrators were advertised as “cuddly” and “cheeky,” and thankfully not modelled after the boys themselves. Maybe if they actually made 12” long toys, the boys wouldnt have sued? “We never had any intention to make a connection between the vibrators on sale in our shops with the names of ‘Olli K.’ and ‘Michael B.’ and the footballers,” company spokesperson Assia Tsernookoff insisted at the time. Why not? Its genious!!!!!

YOU DON’T HAVE TO ASK ME TWICE

They don’t have to ask me twice to Just Do it. Spanish band Estopa’s members Jose Munoz (2nd L) and his brother David Munoz (3rd R), Baller Pau Gasol (Grizzlies) (3rd L) and our Spanish delicacy Rafael Nadal (2nd R) were all on hand for an advertising spot in Barcelona. My libido can only pray it was a Nike-Beate Uhse collaboration.

IRA NEWBLE

In Newark, Dave D’Alessandro wrote something you all should be paying attention to. Its something I’ve brought up before and I’ll bring up again. D’Alessandro writes: The NBA tonight should “introduce its TV audience” to Cavaliers F Ira Newble, who is writing a letter asking the Chinese government “to use economic and diplomatic pressures” to end the fighting in Darfur. Cavaliers F LeBron James has NOT signed the letter, and D’Alessandro notes Nike has “extensive business” in China. D’Alessandro wrote of James, “If his life ambition is truly to be a ‘global icon,’ he will ultimately be exposed for being nothing more than a bogus piece of marketing until he uses his influence in ways that would benefit the public good.” I recently asked a friend in the business his take, and he felt that LeBron is staying out of politics the same way Michael Jordan did during his career. Maybe IF Jordan was paying attention to the situation back then, we wouldn’t be in this position now. It doesn’t take much to change the world, and LeBron could do just that. He should get his hands dirty and be a real role model. In this day and age, it’s OK for athletes to speak up. I really don’t think Nike is gonna drop him for supporting a worthy cause, but I do think his fans may think twice about buying a pair of Nikes with his name on them. (At least I wont buy anymore of ‘em). Newbie said: “It’s a protest to wake people up. China has the 2008 Olympics and that’s an event that will have the attention of the world. It’ll be known that many NBA players are expressing their concern about this issue. China has a large NBA fan base. This will definitely get their attention.”

Also getting their attention is the new China Merchant Bank NBA affinity card. The three-year licensing deal with the NBA includes team and league logo rights, but no player rights. NBA officials said that the agreement “includes a media buy and will feature [POS] promotional rights in 400 branches in major China markets.”

WOMEN TAKING OVER INDY 500?

You go girls! IRL rookie Milka Duno (R) has joined Danica Patrick and Sarah Fisher in qualifying for the Indianapolis 500, making it the first time three women qualified for the race in the same year. The 91st Indianapolis 500 will held on May 27th.

MOVES MAGAZINE MOVES ME

I may not be the target audience, but I’m all over this one. MOVES Magazine is the first publication dedicated to covering and uncovering the fast-paced lifestyles of hot professional athletes. MOVES’ features include articles pertaining to the high-life most hotties live. It covers travel, real estate, finance, family, health & fitness and for our purposes: Athlete Profiles. This isnt a mag you can find in your local bookstore, its distributed to team locker rooms and training facilities, active and retired players, team hotels and charter flights, to athletes’ homes, to agents, team executives and coaches, national events like the Super Bowl, Pro Bowl, U.S. Open, NBA-All Star Weekend, Indy 500, player events, parties, along with charity and golf events throughout the entire year. If you love these beasts as much as I do, check out the digital on-line version here. It’s filled with beautiful glossy photos of our babes, their sports cars, homes, and just about every luxury afforded to these fine men.

As always, thanks for reading. Delinda
delinda@athlebrities.