LADAINIAN TOMLINSON’S MARKETING AGENT
“In early December 2005, I learned that Henkel had pressured the sports memorabilia company into agreeing to pay him an improper, secret $75,000 kickback, $18,700 of which had already been paid to Henkel, for securing my services to the memorabilia company.” LaDainian Tomlinson…Oops! Looks like LT picked the wrong guy to rep him. LaDainian Tomlinson’s former marketing agent has been charged with commercial bribery and theft as a result of a deal he brokered while working for Tomlinson. (SBJ). A complaint against Henkel (Johnson County district attorney’s office) alleges that Henkel, “willfully obtain(ed) unauthorized control over property …with the intention to permanently deprive the owner, to wit: LaDainian Tomlinson and/or IMG Worldwide Inc.” IMG, which continued to represent Tomlinson until his agent, Tom Condon, left the company last year, sued Henkel in 2006 after Henkel left the company.

THIS ONES FOR ANG

I say goddamn how I love me some Chelsea boys. Joe Cole scored in the 29th minute to give Chelsea a 1-0 win over those crusty Liverpudlians on Wednesday in the first leg of the Champions League semifinals. Cole knocked in a cross from my Drogba that overheated my libido, and effectively displayed just how friggen hot Cole really is. Take a good look at his photos and I dare you to find anything wrong with his body. And many, many props to the Chelsea fan (far right) for such a passionate gesture to the opposing team. The second leg beating of my libido will be Tuesday….and (ouch) Man United beat AC Milan 3-2 in Tuesday’s other Champions League semifinal. If you missed this game, you missed out on the fun “KaKa, KaKa” chanting which followed the six time Euro Cup Champ babes two goals for AC Milan. Man-U is set to face Chelsea in the English FA Cup final May 19…If you’re looking for an “I don’t get the frenzy surrounding soccer” read, you must check out a series of essays written in the June 2006 issue of National Geographic. One particular essay “The Way to Win: Juju on the Field” explores the various ways African teams employ juju men for good luck ceremonies and the history of Drogba.

CARAMELIZED DUNCAN

Oh how my libido was ping-ponged between Melo and Iverson during their 95-89 spanking over the San Longoria Spurs. The first game of the Western Conference playoffs goes to the Nuggets. “Two years ago we probably were just happy to be in the playoffs,” Melo purred. “Now we ain’t just happy to be in the playoffs. We know we’re a good team and when we play good we can play with the best of them.” Game 2 is tonight in San Antonio, and I will be spellbound, as usual, while Melo and Iverson do their thang.

SEBASTIAN TELFAIR NO MO GREEN
“Believe me, he’s not going to wear green again,” said a (Celtic) team source who requested anonymity. When the Celtics dump Telfair, I will readily accept any past grievances I have with the team. Celtics CEO & Managing Partner Wyc Grousbeck said an e-mail to reporters that the team has “taken the first steps toward severing ties” with recently arrested Mensa reject Sebastian Telfair. (Boston Globe). Grousbeck wrote, “The facts and circumstances of his case have not been determined but he does NOT have a Celtics locker and we do not anticipate that he will.”

GIMME A SHOT

In Washington, D.C., members of the Sixers (and the Chimps wife, Laura Bush) attended a Malaria Awareness Day at the Friendship Public Charter School today. Mouthwatering Kyle Korver was on hand to sign autographs and educate kids. Have you noticed that anytime there is a “team” function, Korver is always front-and-center? You know he’s getting a mighty, mighty, good beast nod from me…by the way Kyle, are you available for private malaria education lessons?

ATHLETES FOR HOPE

Once we get rid of the Sebastian Telfairs and Pacman Jones’ of the world, we’ve got some stellar hotties out there. A group of 12 athletes have formed a new charity ‘Athletes for Hope’ in efforts to make the world a better place. Individually, the golden dozen have raised more than $500 million to aid at-risk kids, build schools, help the sick and make us smile. Andre Agassi, Lance Armstrong, Tony Hawk, Jeff Gordon and Muhammad Ali are just a few to jump aboard this worthy cause. Agassi, Armstrong, and five other founding members of Athletes for Hope , appeared on ABC’s “Good Morning America” to promote the cause. Check out their site and “Pass the Passion” by purchasing one of their cool AFH dog tags.

JOHN DALY: GET N LOADED

CBS Sports refused to air a new Maxfli ad featuring golfer John Daly “because it violates network guidelines prohibiting ads ‘with direct, or implied, excessive consumption of alcohol,’ especially when an ad also ‘involves hazardous activity,” according to Michael Hiestand of USA Today…. John Daly promoting drinking, smoking, bar hopping and panty throwing? Daly is a hazard period, hence my nickname, the anti-Christ of the Tour. In the ad, Daly is seen driving a golf chart and “grabbing a beer out of a guy’s mouth.” (Could have used real life footage for that?) He also (painfully) sings and plays guitar in a “rowdy bar, where [viewers] see a woman’s undergarments thrown at him in appreciation.” A 90-second uncut version is posted on maxfli.com, in which a woman “appears to lift her blouse to flash Daly, who’s also seen doing a semi-wheelie in a golf cart.”

VICK THE DICK
Michael Vick is so far removed from my hot-list that I’m only gonna highlight his asinine behavior. Apparently, Vick was supposed to go before Congress and lobby lawmakers to increase funding for after school programs. (How or why Vick was chosen for this is beyond me)…but he failed to make it because his AirTran flight wound up stuck in Atlanta-or so his publicist claims. AirTran, who is an endorser of Vick’s, gave a different account of Vick’s travel arrangements. They claim that that Vick “was booked on a 10:50pm flight” out of Atlanta, but “failed to show.” Here’s an idea Vick: PUT THE BONG DOWN.

SAVE THE CHEERLEADERS: SAVE THE WORLD
Someone really needs their meds…according the to Seattle Post, the FBI is investigating a series of letters, some of which contained a hazardous insecticide, sent from the Seattle area to TV stations and university athletic departments, in which the author complained that sports networks “ignore scantily clad cheerleaders in favor of more modestly dressed squads.” In excerpts of the letters released Tuesday by the FBI, the unknown nut ball author accuses sports broadcasters of focusing cameras on lightly dressed cheerleaders for their own amusement. “Pigs park their cameras on us close up, front view, dozens of times each game, yet rarely ever show on TV in this manner, unless squads are wearing sweaters, jackets, under shirts, etc,” the author said in a 2004 letter….here’s an idea for the “author”- start your own blog jackass! You think I rely on camera-men for any close-up coverage of scantily clad beasts? Dah.

As always, thanks for reading. Delinda
delinda@athlebrities.