PEYTON MANS SNL

I’ve heard the hype and seen this kid in action, but I wasn’t a fan of Peyton Mannings until I watched SNL last weekend. Anyone that can make fun of themselves is all right by me. Manning wasn’t just funny, but extremely likeable as well, making me eat my “I don’t like Peyton Manning” words. In his opening monologue Manning said, “It’s been a fun year for me as I accomplished two of my life goals: One, I appeared in half of America’s television commercials and two, my team, the Colts, won the Super Bowl.” Manning’s first skit was a parody of a United Way ad where he taught kids to play football. He drank beer, swore and repeatedly threw passes into the kids and chastised them for failing to make catches, saying to one, “Get your head out of your ass. You suck.” The spot ended with the voiceover, “The NFL and the United Way. Spend time with your kids so Peyton Manning doesn’t.” You can view the skit here.

ANDY RODDICK GETS TEA’D

The AriZona Beverage Company is quenching my thirst with a long-term endorsement deal that has Andy Roddick using his mojo in efforts to sell a new drink that will launch later this year. “I’m thrilled to work with an innovative company, like AriZona,” said Roddick. “They continually bring great beverages to market and I’ve enjoyed assisting them with their latest beverage.”

GET YOUR CROSBY BEFORE ITS TOO LATE

Today, Upper Deck is launching a limited-edition action figure of Sidney Crosby. The company only produced 1,500 home and 500 away versions of the 11-inch figurine, which retails for $49.95. Ya better hurry if you want one, judging by ticket sales, these cuddly Sidney dolls wont last. Yesterday the Penguins sold out of approximately 4,000 tickets to the team’s first two playoff games in 13 minutes.

NEW RED PRODUCTS
Converse and the Gap have unveiled two limited edition Converse (PRODUCT) RED Chuck Taylor All Star shoes, which are only available only at select Gap stores. The kicks will be available this month at more than 180 Gap stores nationwide with a suggested retail price of $67, with 5% of Converse’s net wholesale price of the shoe going to the Global Fund to fight AIDS, Tuberculosis and Malaria. Additionally, 50% of the net profits of Gap’s sales of Converse (PRODUCT) RED shoes will go to the Global Fund. For more information log
onto http://www.converse.com, or http://www.gap.com.

MICHAEL PHELPS’ GOLDEN YEARS

If you’ve never met an Olympic swimmer, you’re in dire need of getting your ass to an event. A long time ago, I dated specimen from this sport, and let me tell you, the beauty is real. They spend so much time in the water that their skin feels like velvet. The physique and stamina can’t hold a candle to the velvety, soft, skin that covers every inch of their body. So when I saw Michael Phelps make history, I couldn’t help but wonder how velvety this beast might be.

The water babe became the first man in history to go under 1 minute, 44 seconds in the 200-meter freestyle at the world championships, breaking sexy Ian Thorpe’s world record. “That was probably the single most incredible record in the books,” American backstroker Aaron Peirsol said. “He put it to rest.” Obviously, Phelps got a gold and then led off the victorious 400 free relay on Sunday. “I’m 2-for-2. The ball is rolling,” he said. “Let’s keep everything rolling.”

ITALIAN FEAST

Team Italy…Allesandro Del Piero, Luca Toni, Fabio Cannavaro, Gianluca Zambrotta and the entire posse of the mouth-watering beasts are training for their Euro-2008 Group B qualifying match against Scotland on March 28th. All players have already pre-qualified for my libido.

HUNGRY?
I really hope Didier Drogba is hungry on July 21st. Various sources are reporting that David Beckham will make his LA Galaxy debut against Chelsea on July 21st. Sultry Jose Mourinho said he was looking forward to the idea of feeding Beckham to his players: “We are happy that we are going back to the US for pre-season and we have done it every year since my arrival. This season will be a bit more special because of our links with the Bluewings and Beckham is there which brings something extra to the tournament and to the game. This gives me the chance to wish him big success in the United States. He will be important for US soccer and for the relationship between US and European soccer.”

SERGIO GARCIA AND HIS SPIT
“I didn’t spit, I just let it go down, but anyway, its no big deal.” Famous last words from the reigning golf-course Mensa reject.

In case ya missed it, Sergio Garcia missed a putt at the 13th hole of the Doral Open and after he got his bogey ball out of the hole, he spit in the cup. Unfortunately for Garcia, he just doesn’t get it. I’ve heard of golfers spitting in the cup before, but NOT on national television and NOT on the pro-circuit. This one classless and simple lapse of judgment could be the defining moment in his career. I for one, won’t be able to look at him the same again. And I can’t help but wonder if Greg Norman is celebrating the fact that his daughter Morgan dumped Garcia’s sorry ass after dating him for ten seconds.

As always, thanks for reading. Delinda
delinda@athlebrities.com