BITE ME PA-LEEZE
The Sony Ericsson begins today in Florida where defending champ, Roger Federer just may come face to face with our revived tapa, Rafael Nadal. The Spanish beast, fresh off his victory at Indian Wells, gave a post-win interview that belongs in the Hall of Dancing Hormones.

Q. That’s a big whale, isn’t it? RAFAEL NADAL: Yeah, it’s tough. Q. You didn’t bite it, did you? RAFAEL NADAL: What? Q. You didn’t bite it. You normally bite — you didn’t bite? RAFAEL NADAL: Yeah, I did. Q. You did? RAFAEL NADAL: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Q. I missed that. RAFAEL NADAL: You missed, you missed. Always. Q. How will you celebrate the title and where does that trophy go? RAFAEL NADAL: Well, I gonna celebrate after Miami. I have important tournament in Miami right now, coming with good confidence after this win, and just try to continuing playing good in Miami. So after Miami, when I (lose) in Miami, I can — I gonna days for celebrate this title. Well, in the same place like others, no? I have a room, my room, my bedroom, and after I have a room upstairs in my house. I have one little bit gym for practice sometimes, and I have (Spanish), sofa, television… – One question: Where the hell can I find this ‘room’?

STALKING THE TIGER

After the Swiss-Miss lost in the second round of the Pacific Life Open, he headed to Florida to defend his Sony Ericsson title. But not before he and his woman stalked Tiger at the Doral Golf Resort and Spa. We all know that the ‘worlds number ones’ are friends, but really, keep it on the court R-Fed. The Swiss Miss walked with Tiger Woods for the final 9 holes of Tigers final practice before the CA World Golf Championships, which begin tomorrow.

Also competing in the yummy Florida event are Anton Haig, Ian Poulter and Adam Scott. Notably absent is our kitten Camilo Villegas, so I’ll just have to hone in on my other libido ticklers.

ALL FOR THE KIDS

CA, one of the world’s largest management software companies, is hosting the World Golf Championships and is giving a lot more to the community than just a roster of exceptional golfers. David Howell hosted a golf clinic for more than 20 young golfers from Miami First Tee and the Miami-Dade NW Boys & Girls Club, and CA is also making donations including fourteen sets of youth Cobra golf clubs, golf bags and hats, valued at $2,500, to the 2-year-old Miami Boys & Girls Club golf program. “CA is extremely excited to drive our relationship with Miami and its residents well beyond the green,” says Bill Hughes, senior vice president of CA Corporate Communications. “CA is committed to giving back to the community as the title sponsor of the CA Championship. CA is also committed to partnering with community organizations such as the Boys & Girls Club and the Miami First Tee to better the lives of children in the Miami area.” And, the CA Championship, in conjunction with the PGA TOUR, will donate $500,000 to The First Tee program for the development and enhancement of The First Tee programs around the country….And, following the tournament, CA will donate the contents of a six-foot tower full of golf balls to the Miami Boys & Girls Club and the Miami First Tee organization…And, they are also donating 600 daily passes to the local charities….and, I wish I were there.

KELLY SLATER NOT MCNAUGHTING?

We may never know for sure what’s really going on between Kelly Slater and Eric McNaught, but according to the newspapers in Sydney, Erin McNaught flew back to Sydney at the crack of dawn on Monday to reassure boyfriend Braith Anasta that she hadn’t had a fling with pro-surfer Kelly Slater. (She earns Mensa reject stauts if she didn’t) McNaught and Slater’s apparent chemistry was the talk of the Grand Prix festivities in Melbourne last weekend, but her spokesperson claims: “She’s very much taken with her current man, I can assure you of that.”

FRANK LAMPARD ATTACKED

Chelsea and Manchester United have both advanced to the semis of the Football Association Cup with wins on Monday night. But Monday night wasn’t just about the victory for Frank Lampard, after two ‘fans’ ran onto the pitch after the final whistle and assaulted our Chelsea babe. *Note: Any hottie who removes his jersey after the match is fair game. I would have done the same thing if Drogba were taunting me with his physique.

Lampard was celebrating the victory over Tottenham Hotspurs, when a Spurs fan ran towards him and threw a punch, but the England beast was too spry for the reject and ducked out of the way. The offender, 18 year old Timothy Smith, was then wrestled to the ground by Chelsea fitness coach Rui Faria. Television pictures showed Lampard, Didier Drogba and other Chelsea babes trying to get to the idiot before he was led away. Lampard said: “You don’t expect it but I’m pleased I got out of the way and that nothing serious came out of what could have been a bad situation. We have to set a precedent to not let it happen again. They’re treating it seriously. It was strange. It was awkward, someone running at you like that. Fans have come on the pitch before but not with that kind of aggressive nature. Emotions run high and I don’t want to stand here and criticise too much. People talk about celebrating in front of the fans and getting stick, which is part of the game, but that was over-stepping the mark. I hope it doesn’t happen again. Of course, measures need to be taken.” Measures have been taken, and Tottenham has imposed a lifetime ban on the reject, who is scheduled to appear in court on Tuesday. He is accused of encroaching on to the pitch, but not assault.

HELLO!

UK celebrity magazine Hello! is dishing out about $3M for exclusive access to the wedding of Manchester Uniteds little bulldog, Wayne Rooney and his fiancée, Coleen McLoughlin, the “most the magazine has paid for exclusive access to a celebrity wedding.” Rooney and his chick have one upped Becks and Posh, who were paid about $1.75M in 1999 for full access to their wedding by Hello!

EBAY THAT BBQ

Red Sox beast, Manny Ramirez acknowledged that he is helping a Weston, Florida, neighbor sell his Jenn-Air grill on Ebay. Manny agreed to advertise the grill as his own to drive up the price. “Hi, I’m Manny Ramirez,” read the ad, listed under the seller “mannyramirez1524,” a member since March 18. “I bought this AMAZING grill for about $4,000 and I used it once. But I never have the time to use it because I am always on the road. I would love to sell it and you will get an autographed ball signed by me =) Enjoy it, Manny Ramirez.” As of midnight ET last night, someone had bid $99,999,999. The listing has since been removed.

As always, thanks for reading. Delinda
delinda@athlebrities.com