VAMOS RAFA

Our wettest import, Rafael Nadal got by Marcos Baghdatis during their second round of the Dubai Duty Free Open. Our Spanish delicacy stumbled in the first set, but rebounded something fierce in the second before clenching the victory in the third. “I was coming out of a long break, and it showed in the first set,” Nadal said. “Even though I was practicing hard in the last couple of weeks, it took me some time to get my rhythm on the court.” Yum.

HONDA GOES GREEN

Props to Honda for unveiling the first Formula One car free of sponsor logos. The RA107 will replace logos with an image of the earth to highlight Honda’s environmental commitment. Visitors to www.myearthdream.com can have their name placed on the car, pledge to improve the environment or make a donation to an environmental charity. My Earth Dream certainly includes Honda driver Jenson Button, who assisted in unveiling the car at the Natural History Museum in London. “Formula One and the environment may not seem exactly bedfellows,” team boss Nick Fry told reporters at the unveiling, “There will always be that last few percent of cynics but we found very strong support right across the world to do something in this direction. The global reach, the number of people we can talk to, is immense, so we can change minds. We are going in a more environmentally-friendly direction with the systems we put on the car and Formula One is really a laboratory for road car technology.” The team said, through the Web site www.myearthdream.com, that anybody could have their name on the RA107 car by making a donation to an environmental charity. “Under the concept of ‘our car is your car’, each name will form a tiny individual pixel which will help build the image of planet Earth on the car,” it said. “Each name will be visible on the Web site when you make the pledge or under the microscope on the car.” So start donating and help save the world!

JETER GETS BUSH AND MANTLE ON TOPPS CARD

A Topps employee with a great sense of humor, inserted images of Mickey Mantle and President Bush in the background of Derek Jeter’s ’07 cards. A uniformed Mantle “is shown handling a bat in the dugout, while behind Jeter, walking through the lower box seats, is a waving President Bush.” Topps spokesperson Clay Luraschi: “Someone was having a little fun between the final proofing and the printing process.”

MLB ALL STAR WARM UPS

The MLB All Star Game will roll into San Francisco on July 10th, and preparations in the form of pimp-the-hotties is heating up. Mets babes Carlos Beltran, Superfine Jose Reyes and David Wright gave new meaning to San Francisco treats as they filmed a commercial for FOX Sports promoting the 2007 MLB All-Star game.

JOHNNIE WALKER CLASSIC

Poor Yum-Yum…animal abuse is everywhere, but somehow Yum-Yum seemed to have herself a good time. Maybe she got a few nippers of Johnnie Walker Red in her before molesting golfers Colin Montgomerie, Chinarat Phadungsil or Retief Goosen (R). The golf kats posed with the four-year-old Thai elephant during a photo call to launch the 2007 Johnnie Walker Classic on the beach at the Sheraton Grande Laguna Phuket Hotel today. The 2007 Johnnie Walker Classic will take place this weekend, and rumor is that Yum-Yum will be Retief’s caddie.

SIMIAN PRESIDENT TAINTS HEAT
I don’t care why they were there, but the Miami Heat can no longer be one of my favorite teams. Shaq and Wade, laughing it up with Him is far worse than any interaction Tiger may have with R-Fed.

And I thought it would be fun to post some of the transcript from the chimps welcome speech: PRESIDENT: Thank you all. Please be seated. It is such a joy to welcome the NBA champs, the Miami Heat, to the White House. Glad you’re here. This is the Miami Heat’s first NBA championship. I congratulate you on a tremendous achievement, even though you beat a Texas team I can assure you, however, then Governor Bush, the Governor of Florida, was thrilled, as were a lot of Florida fans. We’ve got a lot of members of the congressional delegation…blah, blah, blah. Most importantly, we got members of the Miami Heat family with us today. I’m really proud of Micky Arison and Madeleine, who is with us, as well as Nick. As you know, I used to be in pro sports (YEAH RIGHT). I never had the pleasure of winning anything. (Including the election?) Must be pretty cool.

I welcome Pat Riley…blah, blah, blah…(insert finger down throat) I want to say something to the spouses of the players. Welcome. You’ve got a tough life in many ways with your spouse on the road all the time, and you deserve as much of this championship as they do. (not) And so we welcome you here to the White House, as well. All the fans who are here, thanks for coming. These players did something that they weren’t supposed to do. Remember, they went into the Eastern Conference championship as the underdog. Nobody thought they could win. (Uh, yeah we did) And then they get against the Mavericks, and they’re two down, and 13 points behind with minutes remaining, seven minutes remaining in the third game. (Wow, great research by someone).

Blah, blah, blah…Dwyane Wade led the team in scoring Most Valuable Player in the finals. (not anymore) He was on the Sportsman of the Year for Sports Illustrated. All it said was, Dwyane Wade plays to win. (And his endorsement fee goes way up) Unfortunately, he hurt his shoulder. I know a lot of NBA fans, whether they like the Heat or not, are pulling for Dwyane to get back into action. We wish you a speedy recovery, Dwyane. (Brown nose much?) Or take Alonzo Mourning. A lot of folks here in D.C. remember Alonzo Mourning. I don’t know if the people understand it, but Alonzo had a kidney illness that a lot of folks said, well, he’ll never get back on the court again. He not only got back on the court, he blocked a lot of shots which helped this team become the NBA champ. (Champ or Champs) And then, of course, probably one the most well-known figures in the United States of America is a fellow that’s hard to miss, a fellow Texan (and bitter MVP loser), big Shaq. He scored his 25,000th point in his career last night, or recently. And we congratulate you for that, last night, yes, last night (read your cards please). And but he was an important figure in seeing to - seeing this team to the championship. But as Coach Riley gave me — he said, just remember, the motto wasn’t, each star matters; the motto was, “15 Strong.” In other words, it was a team effort that got these men here to the White House (kinda like you did?). They had the stars, (you don’t) everybody knew who they — who the stars are, but it was the capacity to play together, to put the team ahead of themselves, that enabled them to be here at the White House, saying, congratulations NBA champs. And I appreciate very much — so they asked Dwyane Wade — he was the fellow that was the Sports Illustrated man (yeah, we got it the first time you said it ten seconds ago)– he said, “We did this together.” In other words, he recognized, in spite of the fact that he had a fine series, that he couldn’t have done it without his teammates. Pat Riley had a lot to do with this team playing as a team. A team requires a good, solid leader in convincing people to put the team ahead of themselves. (like you did to our country?) And that’s exactly what Pat Riley has done. I’d say he’s accomplished. After all, he’s won seven NBA rings, that’s all. They asked him about this ring, and I think it’s interesting what he said. He said, “I would have traded them all for this one.” (and I’d trade you for another ‘leader’ in a second) He cares about this team. And obviously, the players responded to his leadership. But what impresses me the most about the Miami Heat is their work in the community. That’s what impresses me about them. I mean, I’m in awe of their athletic skills. Standing next to Shaq is an awe-inspiring experience. But I want to share some of the stories of these players, and what they have done in their communities. (Because you cant find the funding to do it yourself?) Alonzo Mourning dedicated his entire salary from the Heat to charities that help low-income kidney patients and underprivileged youth. It wasn’t 10 percent. I would suggest not popping up on every story because you’re going to be tired. (What?) This is a giving team. (Unlike our government) Antoine Walker founded the Eight Foundation, to provide education and sports opportunities for inner-city kids in his hometown of Chicago. (Because our government won’t) He came from Chicago; he’s putting something back in the community from whence he came. Dwyane Wade has given a lot of his salary to his church. He donates basketball shoes to a youth sports program at his alma mater, which happens to be Marquette University. He founded Wade’s World Foundation, which gives children educational and social opportunities, such as the chance to spend a day at Disney World. And then, of course, you’ve got the big man, Shaq. He works as a reserve police officer with the Miami Beach Police Department. (LOL) He gives new meaning to the phrase, “the long arm of the law.” Heat players volunteer their time in all kinds of causes, ranging from reading to drug prevention to youth basketball. This is a championship team on the court, and this is a championship team off the court, and it is my high honor to welcome to the White House as the NBA champs. END and vomit.

“Guess it shows how much Americans care about soccer” – A guest at the Elton John AIDS benefit on Oscar night, on a private soccer lesson from David Beckham being the lowest-selling lot at the auction, going for $70,000

As always, thanks for reading. Delinda
delinda@athlebrities.com