AUSSIE OPEN GONE CRAZY

What a beautiful opening day in Melbourne. Croatian and Serbian spectators kicked each other, used flag poles as weapons, and chanted such things as “Die Croat, die” Monday 15th at the Australian Open. The po-po ejected 150 people and one Giraffe, from the Melbourne Park venue after the violence. Today, beefed up security and the po-lice are on high alert during the match between Ilia Bozoljac (Serbia) and Marin Cilic (Croatian). (History lesson: Serbia and Croatia were involved in a brutal war in the early 1990s and I guess they still don’t get along very well.)

Day two also started with some fun. The ‘extreme heat policy’ suspended play on the second day as temperatures soared to 104F. The extreme heat caused some severe butterflies in my box as our boys, and a few hot fans, removed shirts, cooled themselves with wet towels, and soaked up the sun. (One fan has me thinking about taking a trip to Sweden). After things cooled off a bit, our beasts picked up their rackets and things couldn’t have looked better.

YES

Captain of my libido, Rafael Nadal and his biceps, defeated Robert Kendrick in their first round match 7-6 (8/6), 6-3, 6-2. A picture is indeed worth a thousand words, and the pic of Rafa topless brings many, many words to mind. I could go through the entire alphabet and describe our favorite tapa…Adorable. Beautiful. Classy. Delicious. Edible. F….I’ll stop here before the floodgates of my vocabulary open and my blog earns an X-rating.

JAMES BLAKE: CLASS ACT

James Blake put muscle into that fine boot-tay of his and sent Carlos Moya packing after a 7-6, 6-2, 6-4 victory. Blake was recently profiled in Melbourne under the header “The Fans’ Choice.” Tennis broadcaster Craig Gabriel said, “James is universally liked. In many ways, he’s a throwback to the gentlemen players of the 1960s.” Blake: “It takes me five seconds to sign an autograph and that makes some kid’s day. It’s not a difficult task and it’s flattering to know you can brighten up someone’s day by smiling for a picture or signing an autograph.”

Did you know that fans consumed 37,247 buckets of hot chips, 37,305 BBQ sausages, 2,500kg of curry and 164,416 ice creams during Australian Open 2006? Hard to believe…Not.

LOVE FOR THE PISTONS

On the 6th Annual Sprite MLK Kids Day, kids dressed as the Detroit Pistons starting five, before the game against the Timberwolves yesterday. (My favorite is the mini-RIP with his face mask.) The Pistons always make me smile, especially today, when they will hold a press conference to announce the signing of Chris Webber at 4 p.m. at The Palace of Auburn Hills.

THE GAME WOULD KICK BECKHAM’S ASS
LA Rapper ‘The Game’ has jumped aboard the ‘Mention Beckham Get Free Press’ train. The Game hesitantly admits that Beckham’s skills are “pretty good”, but he seems to think more highly of himself. “I’d kick David Beckham’s ass on any given day,” he said. “I’d just pick the ball up and kick the shit out of the stadium, game over.” Nicely said Mr. Game. Now lace ‘em up, hit the field, and put your money where your grill is.

CHAD JOHNSON’S SUPER BOWL PARTY
The N.Y. Daily News reports that an NFL Network promo spot set to air during the Super Bowl includes an the eclectic group of celebrity friends who attend Chad Johnson’s Super Bowl party. L.L. Cool J, Rascal Flatts and Martha Stewart are all confirmed to appear in the spot. A source said, “Janet Reno and David Beckham are also on the wish list. [Actor] Larry David said he might do it. Also, we’re trying to get Predator, from the movie.” What a fantastic premise for a reality show-Predator, Janet Reno and Beckham in the same room. My moneys on Reno being the lone survivor.

G.O.A.T. MUHAMMAD ALI SNACKS

Why…Muhammad Ali is lending his name and image to a snack food aimed at 18-to-24-year-olds in his “first foray into marketing his image since selling” 80% of the marketing rights to his name and likeness to CKX Inc. in April for $50M, according to USA TODAY. The snack food is produced through a company called “G.O.A.T.” (Greatest of All Time) and will hit bookstore shelves Wednesday, Ali’s 65th birthday, at five college campuses. (Georgia Tech, Texas A&M, Penn, Ohio State and Yale) The snacks have been given boxing-related names such as Rumble, Shuffle Jabs, Corruption, Cartilage and Alzheimer’s. The treats are also shaped like boxing gloves, medicine balls, speed bags, ropes, ears, body shields, mouth guards and buckets. Mouthwatering flavors include Fruit Fight, Thrill-A-Dill-A, Sweaty Palms, Salty Abs and Slammin’ Salsa.

GARY SHEFFIELD BOOK
Still reeling from the pain he felt when the Yankees slammed the door on his ass, New Tiger Gary Sheffield is writing an autobiography titled “Inside Power” in which he “describes his relationship with” Barry Bonds, his link to Balco and his three seasons with the Yankees. “I’ve never touched a strength-building steroid in my life, and never will,” Sheffield said in the book. “The proof is in pictures and stats.” According to the book, Sheffield is an IDIOT. He agreed when Bonds said he would give him “vitamins” from the Balco founder Victor Conte Jr. Sheffield said that Conte gave the vitamins to Greg Anderson, Bonds’s trainer, who gave them to him. As he acknowledged during testimony before the Balco grand jury, Sheffield said that he rubbed cream on his knee after surgical stitches popped out while working out. Sheffield said that Anderson gave him “some cream that’ll heal you up in a hurry,” but he went to a doctor anyway. “My understanding was that the cream was no different from the Neosporin you buy at Rite Aid. Only it worked quicker,” Sheffield said. “It did work fast. It healed me in about a week.” And this book ain’t gonna heal your reputation my friend.

As always, thanks for reading. Delinda
delinda@athlebrities.com

“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.”
– Martin Luther King Jr., Strength to Love, 1963

CHARGERS LOSS

In case you missed the big showdown yesterday between the Chargers and Patriots, here’s the recap. The Chargers tossed Tom Brady around like a rag-doll, lifting hopes of a Chargers victory. But Brady just went with the flow and still managed to produce great passes even when mid-air. Ultimately, though, the Patriots victory had an ugly side. Instead of celebrating with their own ‘style’, one of the Patriots players decided it was okay to perform Shawne Merriman’s celebration dance on the Chargers logo mid-field. Even Pat’s fans have to admit this was outta line? I, for one, expected more class form the Pats, as did LT. Tomlinson lost his cool and went after the unidentified Patriots player while being restrained. He yelled and pointed at the Mensa reject as 68,810 fans fell silent. “I would never react in that way. I was very upset,” Tomlinson said. “When you go to the middle of our field and start doing the dance Shawne Merriman is known for, that is disrespectful. They showed no class and maybe that comes from the head coach.” Sorry peeps, gotta go side with the Chargers on this one. Patriots need a little more class and a dash of respect to earn my applause.

MEMPHIS GRIZZLIES GIVE LOVE

Yesterday, while we watched the Chargers play with the Patriots, the Memphis Grizzlies were busy serving chow during a Martin Luther King Holiday Brunch they hosted for clients and families from the Grizzlies’ partner agencies in Memphis, Tennessee. Stromile Swift, Dahntay Jones, Tarence Kinsey, Chucky Atkins, Eddie Jones and Pau Gasol served food, delighted children, and earned a few hot points for dishing out some love. And continuing with the love, during tonight’s halftime at the Suns-Grizzlies game, former NBA babe David Robinson will receive the National Civil Rights Museum’s Sports Legacy Award for his work in founding and running the Carver Academy in San Antonio. The independent, faith-based school’s 117 students are mostly African-American or Hispanic, and nearly all of them come from low-income families and receive scholarships. MLK would not only be proud of him, but also Dikembe Mutombo, who will also will be presented with the award at the game.

NAME THIS

Lips? Eyes? Brown, tussled bed-head hair? A pair of Aces? Indeed. The hottest 76er in circulation, Kyle Korver, is running a contest through February 16 seeking the “most creative logo” for his namesake charitable foundation. “I’m delighted to open this competition up to students and aspiring artists of all ages, so they can share their talents and vision to help create an image for the Kyle Korver Foundation,” Korver said. “…Some of the basic concepts that I hope to achieve through the work of my foundation - helping young people realize their dreams and make contributions to their community whether through the arts, academics, or athletics.” The winning design will become the official logo of the Kyle Korver Foundation. In addition, the winner will receive a Family Plus Membership to the Philadelphia Museum of Art, a Museum gift basket along with an autographed Kyle Korver jersey, four tickets to a 76ers home game, and an autographed mini-ball. And we all know, ain’t nothing better than a mini-ball from Korver. The lucky winner will be announced at the Grizzlies-76ers game on March 2.

TENNIS WOES
ATP chairman Etienne de Villiers has some advice for his elite tennis beasts, start treating fans with more respect. (Like taking your shirts off more often).Villiers is upset because in the past week, seven swingers bowed out of the Sydney International. The biggest reject was Davydenko, who was later fined $10,000 for saying that it was a “small tournament” that “nobody cares about.” (In reality, we don’t care about him)…De Villiers said he was concerned that 383 players withdrew from men’s tournaments last year. “I’m saying, ‘Let’s make it a commitment guys’,” de Villiers said, “It’s not a reservation or an option. Let’s not defraud the fans. If you go see U2 at a concert, and at every single concert, one of the band decided not to play, how long would it take you to get teed off?” said de Villiers. “If The Edge didn’t play, or Bono wasn’t there, it would be unthinkable. I tell the players, ‘that’s what we are doing to our tour’.” And how right he is. While Rafa may not have the vocals of Bono, and James Blake cant play Edge-like guitar, it is vitally important to our libidos that our treats don’t bow out of the show.

Case in point: Marat Safin. Safin was victorious during his five-set victory over Benjamin Becker of Germany, and had me questioning his hottie status. In a manly display of passion, Safin and his facial hair bit the net, and had a racket throwing tantrum that awoke a newfound desire for this Russian treat.

On the otherhand, Marcos Baghdatis scares the hell outta me and needs to be banned from the sport.

SNL UPDATE

I don’t know how many of you watch Saturday Night Live, but I’m a junkie for it. This weekend’s show was not to be missed. *Crossover Athlebrity Jake Gyllenhaal was the hot host, and did not disappoint during his opening skit when he dressed up as a cast member from ‘Dreamgirls’ and belted out a song in drag. Absolutely Priceless. (*Note: In order to be classified as a ‘crossover’ Athlebrity, a hottie must be associated with a real Athlebrity by no-less than one degree of separation. Hence, Jake’s friendship with Lance qualifies him for my pages. Plus he’s too hot to ignore.) More from SNL…The “Weekend Update” segment featured adorable cast member Seth Meyers reporting, “On Monday, the University of Florida upset Ohio State 41-14 to win the BCS national football championship. Many Florida students celebrated the victory by skipping classes for the last four years.” The news continued with my favorite chick on-TV, Amy Poehler reporting, “Mike Nifong, the prosecutor in the Duke lacrosse rape case, asked to be removed from the case on Friday. Said Nifong, ‘I promised myself I would get out when it stopped being fun.’” Poehler later said, “David Beckham, the British soccer star, has signed a $250[M] deal with the Los Angeles Galaxy soccer team, which apparently exists.”

FAN-TASTIC

During the first quarter of Fox’ Eagles-Saints broadcast, a female fan in the crowd was shown wearing a shirt that said, “Fuck Da Eagles” for four seconds before cutting away. Fox Sports VP/Communications Dan Bell said, “The shot was inadvertent and unintentional, we apologize” BUT, the WASHINGTON POST’s Frank Ahrens noted the shot “was not live: The Fox cameras recorded her celebrating when the play happened and aired it during the replay. In other words, Fox directors CHOSE to air the profane word.” Finally, Fox did something right.

As always, thanks for reading. Delinda
delinda@athlebrities.com

SHIRTS OFF AT THE AUSTRALIAN OPEN

New Rule: Hotties at this year’s Aussie Open must play topless. Andy Roddick had no trouble with the rule during his practice session in Melbourne this morning. The sun beat down on his improved physique, giving us a much-needed glimpse of that Mojo. Both seem to be in good spirits, especially after he spanked Roger Federer in the Kooyong Classic final.

Tommy Haas, also abiding by the new topless-playing rule, is seeded 11th in this years Open. His body is strong, nice lines, with a hint of definition. But the lack of a happy-trail has left my eyes wandering.

Leaving his top on was Rafael Nadal. Normally I would be upset, but we’ve seen plenty of topless-tapa photos, so if anyone is allowed to break the rules it’s Nadal. Our precious import needs to focus, stay healthy and hopefully beat Him at the Open.

James Blake and his phenomenal boot-tay beat sent Carlos Moya packing with a severe spanking in the men’s finals of the 2007 Medibank International in Sydney. With this outstanding 6-3, 5-7, 6-1 victory, Blake has joined Pete Sampras and Lleyton Hewitt as back-to-back Open era winners of the Sydney International. And nothing is better than back-to-back anything-involving Blake.

JOSE MOURINHO AND OUR CHELSEA BABES

Chelsea’s Portuguese manager Jose Mourinho is so friggen hot it drives me insane. Our babes in blue challenged Wigan in an important Premiership match that ended in a 4-0 spanking to Wigan. With this win, Chelsea remains only six-points behind Man-U. The days leading up to the match were dominated by rumors that sultry Jose was ready to leave the boys after growing frustrated at his lack of influence over the club’s transfer dealings. His little pep talk prior to the match paid tribute to the injured dynamic duo of Petr Cech and John Terry. “Are you up for the challenge of playing without the best goalkeeper (Cech)) in the world, the best central defender (Terry) in the world, their deputies and more, and still going for the Premiership title, the Carling (League) Cup and the FA Cup, with the Champions League to look forward to? Are you all up for the challenge?” Damn Jose, why don’t you just bust out the paddle and teach ‘em a lesson? In any case, count me in….

NO MORE ROCKY

New Rule: Sylvester Stallone needs to retire and/or stay under a rock. Marring the otherwise glorious boys on the field, Stallone made an appearance at the Everton-Reading match in Liverpool while promoting his new film, creatively titled Rocky Balboa.

BODE MILLER CRASHES HIS WAY TO VICTORY

God bless this kid and all his entertainment value. Bode ‘reject’ Miller won the Lauberhorn downhill Saturday by doing it in true Bode fashion, crashing across the finish line. Bode finished in 2 minutes, 28.89 seconds for his 25th World Cup win. “Its tough, I knew I was pretty much going to crash in the finish if I skied the last ‘S’ like I wanted to. I was pretty prepared for it. When you ski for 2 minutes, 30 seconds before that and you don’t know how far you’re going to jump, well, let’s say I didn’t have it in my head I was going to land on my feet.” Out of fairness for Bode, the Lauberhorn is the longest downhill on the World Cup circuit and also one of the most physically demanding slopes. The final “S” turn just before the finish line is a set of sharp curves and skiers end their run with a huge jump, landing just before the finish line. Bode was good on the “S” section but seemed to have no strength left in his legs when he landed the jump, before slumping to the ground and sliding across the finish line.

As always, thanks for reading. Delinda
delinda@athlebrities.com

PLANTING THE SEEDS

The seeds have been planted for the Australian Open and as expected Rafa has been planted second behind Him, Roger Federer, the fabulous, unstoppable, defending champion, who is seeded first. The first Grand Slam gets under way on Monday in Melbourne and all our favorite racket-swinging beasts are vying for the title. Federer and his arrogance, Nadal and his biceps, James Blake and his booty, Andy Roddick and his mojo, Tommy Robredo and his happy trail, Lleyton Hewitt and his blond mop, and Marat Safin and his oh-so-sexy-facial hair. The stage is set for our Rafa to face K-Fed in the final, so pray that the Athlebrity Gods are smiling upon our tapa.

LANCE ARMSTRONG’S PLEA

In a special report to CNN, Lance Armstrong gave, in part, the following statement regarding the need for cancer funding and his frustration with lack of government aid. “I’m not known for my patience. Patience is a polite quality and often appropriate, but it rarely gets things done. Impatience, however, is the hunger for results and intolerance for excuses and delays. Impatience got me over countless mountain passes, across the finish line in New York City and through four rounds of ruthless chemotherapy 10 years ago.” Please read his full statement here. Bravo Lance, bravo.

GAG ME WITH A BECKHAM

The deal that was heard around the world…various headlines…The NY Times: A Soccer Star Heads To US, Heeding Lore of Hollywood…Huston: Spend It Like Beckham… LA Times: A Pair Of Stars, An LA Sky, A Happy Galaxy…Miami Herald: Beckhams World Expands to Galaxy…San Jose Mercury News: Beckhams Move Spices Up L.A.’s Celebrity Glitz…The London Times: Becks Goes To Hollywood…Athlebrities.com: You’ll Be Sick of Him In A Month.

Becks spoke to “Good Morning America” today about his upcoming invasion to the United States: “This move for me is not about the money, it’s about hopefully making a difference in the U.S. with the soccer and that’s what I’m going there for. I’m going for the life of course. For my kids to enjoy it and my wife to enjoy it, but the main thing for me is to improve the soccer and to improve the standard and to be part of history.”

THE DAVIE BROWN INDEX
Most of you probably haven’t heard of the Davie Brown Index (DBI) so I’m gonna share it with you. The DBI determines a celebrity’s, (or athlebrity’s) ability to influence consumer behavior. It provides brand marketers with a systematic approach for quantifying and qualifying the use of our hotties in marketing campaigns by evaluating a celebrity’s awareness, appeal and relevance to a brand’s image and their influence on consumer buying behavior. Give us a topless Nadal or a crawling Villegas and it’s easy to predict our behavior. Among the 350 athlebrities in the DBI, Beckham ranks at No. 99, ahead of Allen Iverson, Michael Vick, Alex Rodriguez, and Freddy Adu (who ranks at No. 284-ouch). Beckham is the best-known active soccer player in the DBI, and this I can only assume, is due to the absence of Shevchenko, Ronaldo, Rooney, Drogba, Cannavaro, etc…”When has an international sports-celebrity been so highly anticipated in the U.S.?” said Jeff Chown, president of the Davie Brown Talent Agency that created the DBI. “Casual fans, consumers with little or no interest in soccer, will be drawn to ‘Brand Beckham,” said Chown. “His celebrity takes him out of the sports page and onto the front page. That exposure alone is worth millions to sponsors.” Let’s just hope Advil is one of those sponsors because I already have a Beckham headache. (Beckham’s endorsement portfolio, which includes deals with Pepsi, Gillette, Motorola and adidas, is worth $20M a year, and is expected to rise to about $25M annually when he moves to the U.S.)

STEPHON MARBURY TALK SHOW

The NY Post reports that Knicks Athlebrity Stephon Marbury has reached an agreement with FSN to air 13 episodes of a half-hour show called “Stars on Stars,” which he will host and produce. An FSN source said that it is possible the shows will begin airing in March (Fridays at 4:30pm) and that Lakers Princess Kobe Bryant will be Marbury’s first guest. Mavericks Owner Mark Cuban and Knicks President of Basketball Operations & coach Isiah Thomas are named as future guests. Marbury: “I just felt it would allow people to see my personality beyond the perception that’s written about basketball. People say I’m selfish. It’s not a sports show as much as a lifestyle show. … It’s a conversation between two people who happen to be stars.” Bring it on Marbury, we need more hotties hosting their own shows.

As always, thanks for reading. Delinda
delinda@athlebrities.com

DAVID BECKHAM INVADES LOS ANGELES
So panties are dropping at the thought of David Beckham signing a five-year deal with the Los Angeles Galaxy. After Real Madrid spanked the beast off the team, Becks said “This week Real Madrid asked me to make a decision regarding my future and the offer to extend my contract for a further two seasons, after discussing several options with my family and my advisors to either stay here in Madrid or join other major British and European teams I have decided to join LA Galaxy and play in the MLS from August this year. I would like to thank supporters and the people of Madrid who have made my family and I so welcome in my time here making this an extremely difficult decision to make. I have enjoyed my time here enormously and I am extremely grateful to the club for giving me an opportunity to play for such a great team and their amazing fans.”

I think I may have thrown up a little after reading what Christine Brennan from USA Today wrote about the move. “David Beckham coming to the United States is [like] Tiger Woods meeting Brad Pitt on the red carpet. This transcends sports. This is a big, big deal. All that fame and fortune that he’s amassed, which is already the world’s largest snowball, is going to be rolling down the hill in the United States gathering momentum.” This momentum, which she speaks of, is going to be unbearable. Admittedly, Beckham is easy on the eyes, but not on the ears. If you’ve heard him speak you know he’s not going to land any speaking roles in any upcoming films. His Mickey Mouse voice just doesn’t mesh with the body. And don’t even get me started on his waif wife Victoria. The Beckhams will give MLS a minor boost in the States, but those of us who routinely follow Euro babes, know that Beckham just cant bend it like he used to and we’ll be left with yet another ‘celebrity’ couple with their own reality show.

JASON KIDD AND JOUMANA GONE CRAZY
Fodder for weeks, indeed. The Jason Kidd divorce scandal is just heating up. “He says he’s threatened by her? He’s a star athlete. She’s 5-foot-2, I think, and 105 pounds,” said one of Joumana’s divorce lawyers Raoul Felder. “It’s shameful what he did here. The truth will come out.” If Felder were my attorney, he would have been fired after saying: “He’s (Jason) going to have to deal with the real court and not the basketball court.” Talk about cliché! Here’s the best part of the story, Kidd filed for divorce a day after a court issued him a temporary restraining order against Joumana. So Monday night, the cops showed up at the couple’s crib and, instead of serving Joumana with the restraining order, they forced her out of the house! “The police put her out of her own home, originally giving her 30 minutes to get out with the three children,” Felder said. “It turns out the police misinterpreted the court’s order.” Priceless I say. And finally a worthy ‘misinterpretation’ by the police. (Unfortunately, Jason said he never intended for her to be kicked outta house when he applied for the order, so on Tuesday morning, they went to court to get the order clarified so Joumana Kidd legally could come home.) I’m sure Jason earned a few bruises for that move.

TIGER WOODS HONORED BY GOLF WRITERS

The Golf Writers Association of America honored Tiger Woods yesterday with the Charlie Bartlett Award for his work with the Tiger Woods Foundation. Tiger’s Foundation has reached about 10 million kids and given out more than $30 million in grants. “I’m proud of the work my foundation has accomplished, and I’m honored the GWAA has chosen to celebrate the 10 million young lives we’ve changed for the better. Receiving the Charlie Bartlett Award is a great honor, and I’m grateful for this support and recognition.” The award is given to a pro-golfer for unselfish contributions to the betterment of society. And who better to win than our Tiger. The beast will be honored at the GWAA annual dinner April 4 in Augusta, Ga, so we’ll have to wait till then for the photos.

THE $100,000 PEPSI CAN

Coke or Pepsi? As part of its sponsorship of the Super Bowl XLI halftime show, Pepsi will give away a $100,000 jewel-studded Pepsi can and two Super Bowl tickets for life. The can is encrusted with 300 diamonds, 100 sapphires and 100 rubies and was inspired by past Super Bowl rings. So how do ya get your paws on this blinged-out Pepsi can? Registration for the contest begins on Saturday at SuperBowl.com. The winning code will be revealed by a diamond-worker from Sierra Leone at the end of the halftime show.

OH BARRY, WHAT NOW?

What? No locker room access? The Giants are taking this Barry Bonds contract way too far. Now, MLB Giants execs are insisting the contract they offered to Bonds includes a provision that would bar trainers, personal assistants, friends and other members of his entourage from the locker room at AT&T Park. A baseball source said, “The posse rule is the real sticking point in the Bonds deal.” Hey Barry-no posse, no play. Stay strong my friend…and yeah, so Barry may have failed a test under MLB’s amphetamine policy last season and attributed it to a substance he had taken from the locker of teammate Mark Sweeney. Sucks for Sweeney to get sucked into the drama, but why didn’t he lock his locker? Da.

WHO’S NEXT?

ESPN The Magazine released the five sexy finalists for the cover athlete for its “NEXT” issue, which identifies athletes whose talent and style will shape the future landscape of sports and our libidos. The finalists are Magic C Dwight Howard (L), NFL prospect and former Georgia Tech WR Calvin Johnson; Penguins treat Evgeni Malkin, NASCAR stud Juan Pablo Montoya (C) and my personal choice, super fine Mets SS Jose Reyes (R). (Remember I called Dibs about a year ago on this beast). Sporn-hungry fans can log on to ESPN.com, from January 10-17, to vote on who should be NEXT. The winner of the poll will appear on the cover of The Magazine’s NEXT issue, on sale January 31st.

As always, thanks for reading. Delinda
delinda@athlebrities.com

JASON NOT KIDDING
A friend of mine wrote to me this morning and said that I should have ‘blogging fodder for weeks’ about this Jason Kidd divorce. My initial reaction was ‘oh, he must of took another swing at Joumana’, how wrong I was. Our friends at The Smoking Gun have posted the entire complaint and I gotta say, what a great read! “I can’t talk about my personal stuff,” Jason Kidd said following the Nets’ 101-86 victory over Toronto on Tuesday night. “I hope you guys will respect this tough situation my family is going through and that we can resolve this as quickly as possible.” (You don’t have to talk about anything Jason, just let us entertain ourselves and you keep playing hoops.) “There is really no distraction,” Kidd said. “This is my job. This is my livelihood. Anything personal, stays personal. I have a job to do and try every night to go out there and do it.” Too bad his wife won’t let him.

In the dissolution papers, filed in state Superior Court in Bergen County, Nets hottie Jason Kidd accuses Joumana Kidd of kicking, hitting, punching and throwing household objects him as she became “increasingly controlling and manipulative” in the last few years. And it doesn’t stop there. Joumana also mentally abused him and threatened to make false domestic violence complaints against him to police. Stunning me, the divorce filing came less than a day after Jason filed a domestic violence complaint seeking a temporary restraining order against his crazy wife. Kidd’s attorney, Madeline Marzano-Lesnevich, said in a statement Tuesday. “As this is an extremely difficult personal matter, I ask that the privacy of the Kidd family be respected.” NO CAN DO. Especially after reading that Joumana used the couple’s 8-year-old son on Dec. 27 to sneak into the Nets locker room and rummage through her hubby’s locker to find his cell phone. After looking at the names and numbers on it, she left her son alone in the locker room while she took a courtside seat to taunt our hottie throughout the game. Oh, the entertainment doesn’t stop there…this crazy woman even had tracking devices installed on his cars and computers and harassed his trainer, friends and family. I feel bad for Kidd. We’ve misinterpreted all those pre-free-throw-kisses as love, when really he was just looking to pacify the beast. By the way Jason, I’m great for rebounds.

IVAN BASSO NOVA

Sexy Italian cyclist Ivan Basso has inked a sponsorship deal with Nike “estimated at $1.5[M] per year for the next two seasons,” according to EUROSPORT.com. Basso, who is part of Lance Armstrong’s Discovery Team, was one of the hotties suspended from last year’s Tour de Farce for his implication in the Operation Puerto doping scandal that proved to be hogwash. A Nike executive told Italian sports paper La Gazzetta dello Sport, “Basso is an exciting rider, with lots of appeal. They know him in Italy, but also in America for being [Armstrong’s] only adversary in two editions of the Tour de France. That created a great connection between him and Armstrong and a sponsorship collaboration that we were excited to have. For now we don’t see a promotional campaign or line of sportswear dedicated to him, but that will depend on how the Tour goes.” Hey Nike- it ain’t gonna fly unless we’re fueled by a promotional campaign. Basso reeks of sex appeal, with hot Italian undertones and a splash of oomph. Our pallets are ripe for a Sexy Cyclist poster child so Just Do It, pa-leeze.

CARMELO ANTHONY FILM PRODUCER?

Last month, HBO released a sophisticated documentary tiled ITHUTENG, which means ‘never stop learning’ in South African vernacular. It is also the guiding principle behind the ITHUTENG Trust, founded in the Johannesburg ghetto of Soweto. There, a lost generation of South African children is finding love and support in a world that has otherwise forgotten them. (www.ithuteng.com). And with that said, you can all back off my Melo because word on the street is that Carmelo Anthony served as a producer for the film. Funny how this educational and important film didn’t get nearly as much attention as Melos punch? Priorities people. Adding to my love for Carmelt, he apparently provided funding and voice-overs for “Prison Ball,” a documentary about a basketball tournament among four Louisiana prison teams.

ANDY AND JAMES

Andy Roddick yelled at James Blake for not only stealing the Happy Wipe, but perfecting it as well. Both racket-swinging beasts won their perspective match’s down under.

CHENNAI CHARITY AUCTION
Aside from all the on-court libido tingles, the Chennai Open is also about love. Every year contributions are made towards a social cause either by individual babes, the organizers or associated sponsors. Every year, activities on the sidelines of the tournament inspire us all to join hands for the good cause. This year the Chief Minister’s Relief Fund raised money through a charity auction. Heartthrobs such as Carlos Moya contributed his entire winning prize money towards this cause, and Spanish treat Rafael Nadal even threw down some cash. The Rolex Charity Auction opened with Nadal’s T-shirt and mini bat autographed by him, which sold for Rs 20,000. (about $450, I would have paid double that), the much-wanted item on the memorabilia list was the cricket bat our beast signed. The bid started at Rs 25,000 and went up to Rs 40,000 ($900), and in an interesting twist, there was a savvy phone bidder who participated and actually took away the prized possession. Other hottie items that were auctioned off were included booty-king James Blake’s T-shirt and headband which sold for a measly Rs 11,000 ($250) and Carlos Moya’s shoes and signed T-shirt for Rs 14,000 ($316).

RANDOM HOTTIE

Matias Cahais. He got stretched out and then hit the pool. My eyes hit his shorts.

As always, thanks for reading. Delinda
delinda@athlebrities.com

NO GROIN ABOUT IT

And yet again, our Spanish treat, Rafael Nadal has hit a speed bump in the road to beating Federer. Nadal withdrew from the Sydney International due to a groin injury, which I’d love to take credit for. His injury effectively gave Aussie Chris Guccione the win. With the Australian Open less than a week away, I am offering my services to Rafa in efforts to massage out that nasty ‘thigh-cramp’. “I will have some treatment on it Wednesday, and will hope to be 100 percent fit for next week,” Nadal said. “The Australian Open is a priority.” Rafa apologized to the crowd and said that he had been “feeling a lot of pain here” (pointing to his, ah-hem, groin) and at the press conference he explained that the pain started during his flight from Chennai to Sydney, and that he saw his doctor this morning before the match to see if he could play. “He told me that it could get worse,” he explained. Is there anything worse than not seeing our beast play? Especially when our libidos are focused on his groin anyway…

GOLF DIGEST: TOP 50 MONEY KATS
No surprise here…Tiger Woods is on pace to become the first billion-dollar earner in sports. Tiger increased his income by $12 million in 2006 and made nearly $99 million, making him No. 1 for the fourth straight year among the “Golf Digest 50,” an all-encompassing world-earnings ranking that includes nearly every dollar our sexy babes made on and off the golf course in 2006. The “Golf Digest 50” appears in the February issue, on newsstands January 9. The full “Golf Digest 50” ranking and story, along with sidebars tracking Tiger’s ongoing march to become the first golfer to earn $1 billion, can be viewed now at www.golfdigest.com. Included in the top 50, our Camilo Villegas clocked in at 33rd with $4.8M, and Burberry babe Adam Scott at 12th with $14M. My Euro beast Ian Poulter didn’t make the top 50, but I’d take him penniless as long as he kept his swing.

DEREK JETER AND JESSICA BIEL

The New York Post’s Page Six has done a wonderful job of capturing Avon front-man and Yankee Derek Jeter along with his new arm-piece, Jessica Biel. On January 5th, photos were posted of the subtle couple frolicking on the beach and flaunting their perfect bodies. Although Miss Biel is reportedly dating Jeter, her rep warned, “Please no questions about her personal life!” And I am proud to report that I have no idea who she is.

GO THEO

Boston Globe music critic Joan Anderman reviewed Sunday’s Hot Stove, Cool Music benefit concert put on by ESPN’s Peter Gammons and hot, hot, hot, Red Sox GM Theo Epstein. Gammons, backed by musicians including the sexy Epstein and Red Sox P Lenny Dinardo, “was in rare form, performing for the first time” after suffering a brain aneurysm. He changed a line in “Take Out Some Insurance” to “I’m healthier than ever, baby.” The Hot Stove, Cool Music concert series has raised more than $1,2M for the Jimmy Fund and Theo and Paul Epstein’s Foundation To Be Named Later, a branch of the Red Sox Foundation. Guess them Sox ain’t so bad after all.

MORE TERRELL OWENS ANTICS

Hot points loser Terrell Owens has fired his publicist Kim Etheredge. Etheredge was a key player in the T.O overdose-gate incident, after reporting the overdose as a possible suicide attempt. She wasn’t too happy with the way the police characterized her initial report or the investigation. “Terrell has 25 million reasons why he should be alive.” And now, Miss Kim has one less.

YOU’RE NEVER TOO OLD

I love this woman….A federal grand jury in Alabama has indicted 81-year-old Ruby Young on charges she tried to extort $2M from Pro Football HOFer Bart Starr, with whom she claims to have had a romantic relationship in 1960. Ruby is scheduled to be arraigned Thursday in Birmingham, Ala., on two counts of using the U.S. mail to send threatening letters. Officials allege at least two of the letters Young mailed contain extortion threats to Starr, 72. Starr has denied knowing Young and said her allegations are false. Come on Ruby- ya cant expect a one-nighter to remember you after 46-years! It’s time to move on gurl.

As always, thanks for reading. Delinda
delinda@athlebrities.com

RAFAEL NADAL WET

Our Spanish beast didn’t win the Chennai singles event, but that’s okay. We got several topless photo treats, and he sprayed champagne all over my libido during the prize ceremony following the doubles final of the Open.

ADAM SCOTT SECOND AND THIRD

He played with heart, class, and an oh-so-sexy swing, but eventually Adam Scott finished second to Vijay Singh in Kapalua Hawaii. Minimum love for the arrogant Singh, who has made history with this victory. It was his 18th victory since he turned 40, breaking Sam Snead’s previously little-known record of 17 wins for forty-somethings. Too bad Singh can’t hold a candle to the notoriously friendly, and sophisticated Scott, who earned a cool $630,000 for his stellar performance. “Second does suck, but I try to take a positive out of every week,” said our Burberry babe. “It looked earlier on like I had no chance, but it was nice to claw my way back by the end.” Indeed. Claw baby, claw.

WHEN IN ROME

Italian beast Gianluigi Buffon received a trophy for best goalkeeper of 2006 season during a ceremony in Rome today. Marco Materazzi and his pink sweater were also in attendance, as well as my Totti (hiding in the background)…FIFA President Sepp Blatter was busy making the rounds, as he later attended another ceremony with Italian President Giorgio Napolitano to honor the entire, mouth-watering-sporn-tastic Italian Soccer World Cup team.

MELO ON POINT

“It’s everywhere,” Carmelo Anthony said Wednesday of the possibility of being attacked. “Everywhere I go, I’ve got that in the back of my mind. You’ve always got to be on point. You’ve always got to be careful. If you’re in a bar or a club and you see commotion, you want to get out. Anything can happen. They always say that bullets have no names.” Wrong Melo, this one has a name, its Delinda.

WADES HOUSE
According to the Miami Herald, Dwyane Wade, his lips, and wife, Siohvaughn, have been sued for $152,000 by home developer PGS, which claims the couple “failed to pay for ‘improvements and additions’” to their house in Pinecrest, Florida. Wade has filed a counterclaim stating PGS “hadn’t completed all the work when the family moved into the home.”

NBA HOTTIES AND STAFF FINISH HOME

Members of the NBA office staff, and even the Commish got their hands dirty and raised the final wall at a Habitat for Humanity home built on January 7 in New Orleans. The Commish even signed one of the slabs of wood for the lucky family. Thanks for caring NBA.

LUCKY LADY

A picture is worth more than a thousand words. It’s worth a trip to the SuperBowl, at least for Diana Porter it is. The Huston woman won the Canon & The Pro Football HOF’s “Why Do You Love Football” Amateur Photo Challenge for her image titled ‘Superman.’ Porter, who snapped the cute image during a kids football game, has not only won a trip for four to Super Bowl XLI , but to the ’07 Pro Football HOF enshrinement in August AND her photo will displayed in the HOF.

NICE GIFT IDEA

Start saving your pennies now for this oh-so-special gift…A new book called “Manchester United Opus” tells the history of the club in 400,000 words and 2,000 delectable photographs. The book weighs over 80 pounds and costs about $5,811. Also available are the Formula One, NFL and Maradona Opus’s. If ya just gotta send me one…

As always, thanks for reading. Delinda
delinda@athlebrities.com

NO!

Belgian Xavier Malisse stunned my libido and sent Rafael Nadal on a 6-4 7-6 exit from the Chennai Open. But not before giving us a few collectable images of our sexy tapa without his shirt. After perusing numerous papers from around the globe, I’ve found the most entertaining coverage comes directly from India itself, more precisely, the Hindu newspaper. Every move by Rafa was carefully scrutinized under the Indian eyes. Phrases such as a “curiously detached fellow” and “growing boy” were just a few that made me chuckle. On Thursday, one writer wrote: ‘We are sitting in the VIP lounge that neighbors the outside courts, Rafael Nadal and a few Indian journalists, late on Thursday. The World No.2 has acquiesced to a round table interview and he sits there staring at the penne pasta that the waiter has just served him. “More,” Nadal says with a frown. A growing boy must have his fill, after all. Nadal mumbles his replies between mouthfuls over the drone of the air-conditioner. The disturbance doesn’t seem to annoy him, he’s as focused on making his point as he is while playing in front of crowds.’ BUT, props to this reporter who dared to ask about his biceps. “You see mine because of my cut sleeves,” he says with a grin. “Maybe my biceps have better definition, but I’m not the strongest.” Another reporter, who should be working for me, asked Rafa if he thinks of himself as a sex symbol. His response “I don’t think about that.”

Our Rafa also had time to participate in one of India’s favorite sports, cricket. Showing that he not has only a mean swing, but a sense of humor, Rafa waited until after everyone dragged out their equipment and took position before he took the bat and said, “I play the right hand”. As collective chuckles and confusion went around, our tapa said, “Oh, s’okay, I play the left hand.”

MICHAEL ESSIEN ON TRACK

For the first time in the history of the prize, the winner of the African Player of the Year Award was decided live during the BBC World Service’s flagship African sports program Fast Track. Chelsea’s Ghanaian beast, Michael Essien won the award with a massive 66 percent of the vote. My choice, Didier Drogba came in third and Im okay with it. Essien is on par with Drogba in Hot Points…now only if he would just drop that flag.

PRETTY BOY SUITED-UP

The highest paid starting pitcher ever, Mr. Barry $126M Zito, held a press conference to flaunt his fabulousness. Like I said, Zito may appeal to many of you, but for me he’s way too pretty boy. I will give him props for finally cutting his Shaun Cassidy inspired hair and almost looking like a real man.

JAKE PEAVY ARRESTED

When in Alabama…Jake Peavy pulled up to the curb at an Alabama airport to drop off his bags. The po-po said “move your car,” Peavy said no, and he was yanked and spanked before being release on a whopping $350 bond. Padres General Manager Kevin Towers said he was told that Peavy was headed for a goodwill tour of the Dominican Republic with other major league players when he double-parked to drop off his bags and was told by airport police to move his car. “The airport police told him he couldn’t park his car there and he said, ‘Write me up a ticket and I’ll pay for it,’” Towers said. “He was arrested.” Mensa Reject points earned: infinite.

REST IN PEACE DARRENT WILLIAMS

The memorial service for Darrent Williams was held at the Great Commission Baptist Church yesterday in Fort Worth, Texas. Out of respect for Darrents family, I’ve opted not to post images of them during the service. After all, they deserve a little privacy. But in a startling move by the NFL, league announced yesterday that it would return a $15,000 fine imposed against Williams for arguing with an official in a game last November and return the money back to Darrents family.

As always, thanks for reading. Delinda
delinda@athlebrities.com

LADAINIAN TOMLINSON AND HIS SHORTS

Homeboy LaDainian Tomlinson was rightfully chosen as the NFL’s Most Valuable Player for the 2006 season. The Chargers beast garnered 44 of the 50 votes from a nationwide panel of sports writers and broadcasters who cover the NFL, and they all agree on one thing, Tomlinson had one of the greatest seasons in NFL history. Tomlinson broke numerous league records and still remains one of the most humble and likeable babes in the league. “It’s more important to me to be a better person,” said Tomlinson, “At the end of the day that’s what people remember. Football is a game that I obviously love to play and a lot of guys enjoy playing the game. But that’s not who I am. I’m not just a football player. I’m a human being. I respect other human beings and that’s what it’s all about, giving respect to other human beings and just really trying to have an impact on people’s lives that I come across because I am in a position to do that.” (Not to be disrespectful LT, but I gotta say thanks for wearing those shorts!)…Another hottie worth some love is Chad Pennington. The Jets quarterback was named the NFL Comeback Player of the Year. I love me some Chad and couldn’t be happier that the Jets advanced to playoffs with the help of a revitalized Pennington.

NEW TEETH, NEW WOMAN

Im not sure about this, but if I spent the day scraping plaque off some ones teeth, they wouldn’t be on my to-do list. And yet, stranger things have happened. Real Madrid beast Ronaldo went in for a few teeth-whitening sessions and came out with a girlfriend. Erika Abreu took one look at her clients’ teeth and fell in love…or so the story goes. According to the Brazilian paper O Globo, after a few sessions in the dentist’s chair to whiten his famously nasty teeth, Ronaldo invited Abreu to spend Christmas with him in Rio. The couple flew first class to Madrid before heading to Paris to see in the New Year together. The lovebirds are now back in Madrid where Ronaldo has hired dental surgery equipment for his woman to finish his treatment.

NHL LOVE PATCHES
The NHL has begun their ’07 Garth Brooks Teammates for Kids patch program. During one select home game through January 13, all hotties-on-ice, from each of the 30 NHL teams will wear a jersey featuring a commemorative patch. The jerseys will then be auctioned off with proceeds benefiting the Garth Brooks Teammates Kids Foundation. Check out the website for more info.

WATCH AND LEARN

America’s premier soccer destination, Fox Soccer Channel today announced that its nightly sports news program, Fox Sports World Report, will become the Fox Soccer Report, effective Monday, January 8. The fantastic announcement means that the hour-long Report will be focusing exclusively on soccer hotties. (10:00 p.m. ET/7:00 p.m. PT, Monday through Sunday) Thus yummy program is informative and chock full of International soccer beasts. Watch one episode and you might understand why the Portuguese giants Benfica are appealing a one-year doping ban imposed on hottie Nuno Assis, who Diego is, or why its vital for John Terry to be healthy. If nothing else, you’ll get pa-lenty of eye candy.

DAMON STOUDAMIRE GIVES LOVE

Grizzlies Damon Stoudamire, and two anonymous donors, handed out $400 Sam’s Club gift cards to the families of 100 kids from Memphis Athletic Ministries, which fosters racial unity and urban youth development through basketball. Stoudamire, who was raised in a single-parent home, wasn’t about to let these kids down. After his heart-felt welcome speech, Stoudamire shopped with the kids and undoubtedly made a few lives brighter. Major, major Hot Points earned.

LEBRON JAMES SPRITE COMMERCIAL
This has got to be one of the weirdest commercials I’ve ever seen. Tapping once again into his stellar acting skills, Lebron filmed this spot for Sprite and a cool contest they are holding. Today, Lebron and Sprite announced a national contest “inviting consumers to create theme songs for new Sprite TV commercials” that will air during NBA All-Star weekend next month. Fans can enter the contest at LeBron23-23.com. James and hip-hop stars Paul Wall and Al Fatz will select the three songs. James said, “I wanted to do something new and different. Sprite came to me with the idea. I thought it was cool.”

As always, thanks for reading. Delinda
delinda@athlebrities.com