MA LA DIA

My oh my, not only did Rafael Nadal spank Andy Murray to advance at the Open, but he got into every pose I could possibly dream of.

The push-up, the crawl, the victorious bicep pump, the sun on his freshly sprouted facial hair, the hug, and the changing-of-the-shirt. Nadal won in five sexy sets 6-7 6-4 4-6 6-3 6-1.

GOLFERS ON A PLANE

On January 17th, golf babes took part in the ‘Etihad Airways Swing on the Wing Challenge’ on the runway at the Abu Dhabi International Airport. Swedish beast Henrik Stenson of Sweden won the challenge, with a drive of 721 yards-which beats flash-kat Ian Poulter’s last years record by 25.

GOLFERS IN THE DESERT

The Bob Hope Chrysler Classic was in full swing over the weekend in Palm Desert. Ultra-hot banana eating Ian Poulter did participate (finishing T60th, earning $10,800) although you wouldn’t know from the lack of Poulter coverage I’ve grown accustomed to. Amateurs at the event included Samuel L. Jackson, Don Cheadle, and Oscar De La Hoya- all looking very Poulteresq…others who participated include a scary Alice Cooper, a hot Andy Garcia, still a stud Clint Eastwood, and Soul Patroller Taylor Hicks. And no, I don’t care what their final scores were…if you do, check it out here.

THE FOLLOWING IS A REAL LETTER FROM CARMELO ANTHONY TO NUGGETS FANS AND THE TEAM, RELEASED YESTERDAY:
Dear Nuggets Fans, Teammates, Stan Kroenke & the Nuggets Organization,
The day is finally here. It has been a very long wait for my first game back. (You’re telling me?) Before the game tomorrow, I wanted to take the time to thank all of you for your support of our team and your support of me. (You’re welcome) I greatly appreciate the emails and letters from those of you who wrote to me expressing your support. I also wanted to let you know how excited I am to get back on the court and play with my new and old teammates. I have been going crazy for 36 days waiting to return. (should’ve called me) All my life playing basketball has come easy to me, but not being able to play has been the most difficult thing I have ever experienced as a player. I’ve spent this time off working on my game and reflecting on who I am. (so I have) And who I want to be. (my boyfriend?) I want all of you to know that I plan to be better (yes), stronger (oh-my) and smarter on the court than I’ve ever been before. I’ve never been more dedicated to becoming the best player and teammate that I can be. It has been very tough watching the team play without me, knowing that my mistake has made it very difficult for my teammates, the franchise and the fans. I’ve spent the time working extremely hard, and I plan to come back better than ever. (I’ll take it) I’ve also spent time thinking about the huge responsibilities I have as the captain of the Denver Nuggets, the captain of Team USA, a face of the NBA, and a role model to young people. I’m aware that a great deal is expected of me, and not just as a player. (Indeed) I’m expected to make the right decisions, lead by example and to be a professional. (except in Vegas I hope). Once again THANK YOU for your support. I hope to express my appreciation by (becoming my boyfriend?) continuing to develop as a player and as a person (that’ll work). I can’t wait to get out there and show everyone what the Denver Nuggets are capable of. I’ll see you at the Pepsi Center on Monday night. I’ll be the first one there. Sincerely, MELO.

PATRIOTS OUT

I want to send my condolences to all the Patriots fans who already started celebrating the Patriots Super Bowl victory.

FRANCISCO TOTTI GETS OFF

Oh Francesco, I feel your pain. Totti was sent off in the final minutes of the AS Roma-Livorno match after a scuffle with hot Livorno defender Fabio Galante, who received a yellow card for the same incident. The match ended 1-1. Totti initially appeared to be under the spell of Fabio, with perhaps a kiss on its way? Then Fabio pushed my Totti aside like a used dishrag, while he fell to his knees pleading for love.

WELL DONE
Celtics managing Partner Wyc Grousbeck needs to keep a leash on his wife Corinne. Why? She’s potentially ruined it for all of us red-blooded, estrogen crazed, NBA lovers. Corinne, acting like a 12-year old, brought her posse of reject friends into the Celtics dressing room to get autographs following Friday’s loss to the Kings. Some players were “trying to conduct interviews,” while others “were getting dressed and being asked to sign items amid the giggling.” An NBA spokesperson said that the league “would step in if the scene is repeated.” Oh-its gonna be repeated, but D&D don’t ask for autographs or giggle in those situations. We just grab the sweaty towels and jerseys before we’re even noticed.

SNL UPDATE: MICHAEL VICK
Today, it was reported that Michael Vick “will not be charged with wrongdoing” in an incident last week at Miami Int’l Airport. A source said that tests performed on a substance from Vick’s water bottle confiscated by airport security indicated that the material “was not illegal.” But that hasn’t stopped the fun…

During the “Weekend Update” news segment on “SNL,” the goddess of late night, Amy Poehler, and the sublimely sexy Seth Myers busted out a new segment called “Really!?! With Seth & Amy.” Myers has long been seducing me with his devilish grin and mischievously sexy eyes, so look out Seth, I reserve the right to jump you at any given time. And for both of you, get your asses out to Vegas for the NBA All-Star party’s. Look for D&D- we’ll have pa-lenty of shampoo and water…

As always, thanks for reading. Delinda
delinda@athlebrities.com