VAMOS RAFA

After our delectable tapa won his match against Kohlschrieber, 7-5, 6-3, 4-6, 6-2, he gave an interview, without a translator, delivering us some much needed Rafa-speak, no? “LARSON: Could you tell us where you got hit with those two balls, how badly it hurt. When Kohlschreiber hit you at the net with those two balls, where did it hit and badly did it hurt? NADAL: The first one there in the finger. The other one I touch with the racquet. The first one I understand hundred percent fine. You are in the net, you want to win the point. But the second one is a little bit struggling because he has all court for him, no? But it’s fine. LARSON: Where did the second one hit you? NADAL: No, no. In the racquet. LARSON: On the racquet? NADAL: Yes. For very good luck on the racquet. For nothing put me in one eye, something, in the face.”. …Okay, where the hell’s this racket? Rafa, you want I make luck on your racket again for you, yes?

RODDICK BEATS UP SAFIN

Andy Roddick pulled some magic outta his mojo-bank and spanked that oh-so-feisty beast Marat Safin during the third round at the Open. Andy and Marat gave us a 3 hr-12 minute sporn-fest, which ended in a 7-6 (7/2), 2-6, 6-4, 7-6 (7/2) victory for A-Rod.

ROGER AND THE BEAR

Someone from UNICEF might wanna inform R-Fed that he isnt required to bring the Bear with him when he plays.

A MULTI-MILLION DOLLAR ADVERTISING CAMPAIGN

One very special element to this years’ Stanford St. Jude Championship is the new advertising campaign. There are a few of you who know exactly what I’m talking about, because we’ve been waiting to see it. The Commercial. The appropriately titled “Desire Knows No Bounds” features feline-extraordinaire Camilo Villegas, David Toms and the PGA anti-Christ John Daly. The three are shown golfing in urban and other uncharacteristic settings throughout Memphis. Camilo Villegas is seen teeing up at the gates of Elvis Presley’s Graceland and hitting line drives along Memphis’ trolley line; Toms is hitting balls from one downtown building roof to another; and Daly is featured driving balls across the Mississippi River on the bluffs of Memphis with a bear in one hand and a cigarette in the other. The print, broadcast and web-based advertising campaign will launch in February with significant exposure in Golf Digest, Sports Illustrated and the GOLF CHANNEL, among others-including Athlebrities.

TIGER’S BABY
Perhaps inspired by the fact that Elin Woods is pregnant, the PGA Tour is now making its first foray into licensing branded apparel for children. Total Kids Wear will debut a new collection called PGA Tour Junior at the PGA Merchandise Show. Items include headwear, outerwear, polos, sportswear, golf gloves and backpacks.

JOIN LANCE ARMSTRONG’S ARMY
I always said I would never join the Army, but things have changed. After a plea from Lance Armstrong, I’m now enlisted. If you haven’t seen this, check it out.

VICK-A-LICIOUS

For the third time in nine months, Michael Vick has made an ass out of himself. The Mensa reject surrendered a water bottle to security at Miami International Airport that smelled like marijuana and contained a substance in a hidden compartment. He wasn’t arrested and was allowed to board the flight. “We’ll do an analysis and see what it is. There’s no sense of urgency to it,” Detective Alvaro Zabaleta said Thursday. NFL spokesman Greg Aiello said, “We have a process that provides guidelines for every situation. Our doctors conduct a lengthy evaluation, if necessary, and then decide if enrollment in a treatment program is necessary.” WHAT? Okay, firstly, I’d like to see this water bottle with a ‘hidden compartment’ just in case I ever need one. Secondly, dude probably just burned a big fatty and the resin from his mouth was still on the bottle, and finally, what the hell is Aiello talking about “enrollment in treatment” programs? This is the kind of comment I would expect from someone who is completely ignorant about weed. Smoking ganja is a non-violent, non-addictive drug. Just let the boys smoke and save headlines for better stuff.

NBA’S MVP?
The NBA’s Most Valuable Player race appears to be between six players: Steve Nash, Dirk Nowitzki, Dwyane Wade, Priness Kobe, LeBron James and Gilbert Arenas. Talk about making my libido and head spin in unison! Sexy Nash and Neanderthal Nowitzki look to be the frontrunners, but Nash is kicking serious ass this season, and definitely gets my vote for Most Visually Pleasing Player.

THE REAL MVP’S

The Minnesota Timberwolves do the coolest things, like for example, pretend they are teachers. Kevin Garnett and other T-Wolves babes played teacher to 4th-6th graders who are impacted by diabetes. Hotties taught the kids how to cook healthy meals to combat their disease. And to combat my need-for-anything lupine, I’d like to request a personal cooking lesson with Garnett.

And they didn’t stop there…the T’Wolves served dinner at the Ronald McDonald House in Minneapolis yesterday. Randy Foye was all over the place, spreading love, shooting hoops, and simply making kids smile. And for that, Foye receives a “What a man, what a mighty, mighty good man” nod.

NO BULL ABOUT IT

The Chicago Bulls also spread some love. Luol Deng (L), Malik Allen (R) and other Bulls babes were in da house for the 18th annual FestaBulls dinner and auction to raise funds for CharitaBulls, the Chicago Bulls non-profit organization.

As always, thanks for reading. Delinda
delinda@athlebrities.com