AUSSIE OPEN GONE CRAZY

What a beautiful opening day in Melbourne. Croatian and Serbian spectators kicked each other, used flag poles as weapons, and chanted such things as “Die Croat, die” Monday 15th at the Australian Open. The po-po ejected 150 people and one Giraffe, from the Melbourne Park venue after the violence. Today, beefed up security and the po-lice are on high alert during the match between Ilia Bozoljac (Serbia) and Marin Cilic (Croatian). (History lesson: Serbia and Croatia were involved in a brutal war in the early 1990s and I guess they still don’t get along very well.)

Day two also started with some fun. The ‘extreme heat policy’ suspended play on the second day as temperatures soared to 104F. The extreme heat caused some severe butterflies in my box as our boys, and a few hot fans, removed shirts, cooled themselves with wet towels, and soaked up the sun. (One fan has me thinking about taking a trip to Sweden). After things cooled off a bit, our beasts picked up their rackets and things couldn’t have looked better.

YES

Captain of my libido, Rafael Nadal and his biceps, defeated Robert Kendrick in their first round match 7-6 (8/6), 6-3, 6-2. A picture is indeed worth a thousand words, and the pic of Rafa topless brings many, many words to mind. I could go through the entire alphabet and describe our favorite tapa…Adorable. Beautiful. Classy. Delicious. Edible. F….I’ll stop here before the floodgates of my vocabulary open and my blog earns an X-rating.

JAMES BLAKE: CLASS ACT

James Blake put muscle into that fine boot-tay of his and sent Carlos Moya packing after a 7-6, 6-2, 6-4 victory. Blake was recently profiled in Melbourne under the header “The Fans’ Choice.” Tennis broadcaster Craig Gabriel said, “James is universally liked. In many ways, he’s a throwback to the gentlemen players of the 1960s.” Blake: “It takes me five seconds to sign an autograph and that makes some kid’s day. It’s not a difficult task and it’s flattering to know you can brighten up someone’s day by smiling for a picture or signing an autograph.”

Did you know that fans consumed 37,247 buckets of hot chips, 37,305 BBQ sausages, 2,500kg of curry and 164,416 ice creams during Australian Open 2006? Hard to believe…Not.

LOVE FOR THE PISTONS

On the 6th Annual Sprite MLK Kids Day, kids dressed as the Detroit Pistons starting five, before the game against the Timberwolves yesterday. (My favorite is the mini-RIP with his face mask.) The Pistons always make me smile, especially today, when they will hold a press conference to announce the signing of Chris Webber at 4 p.m. at The Palace of Auburn Hills.

THE GAME WOULD KICK BECKHAM’S ASS
LA Rapper ‘The Game’ has jumped aboard the ‘Mention Beckham Get Free Press’ train. The Game hesitantly admits that Beckham’s skills are “pretty good”, but he seems to think more highly of himself. “I’d kick David Beckham’s ass on any given day,” he said. “I’d just pick the ball up and kick the shit out of the stadium, game over.” Nicely said Mr. Game. Now lace ‘em up, hit the field, and put your money where your grill is.

CHAD JOHNSON’S SUPER BOWL PARTY
The N.Y. Daily News reports that an NFL Network promo spot set to air during the Super Bowl includes an the eclectic group of celebrity friends who attend Chad Johnson’s Super Bowl party. L.L. Cool J, Rascal Flatts and Martha Stewart are all confirmed to appear in the spot. A source said, “Janet Reno and David Beckham are also on the wish list. [Actor] Larry David said he might do it. Also, we’re trying to get Predator, from the movie.” What a fantastic premise for a reality show-Predator, Janet Reno and Beckham in the same room. My moneys on Reno being the lone survivor.

G.O.A.T. MUHAMMAD ALI SNACKS

Why…Muhammad Ali is lending his name and image to a snack food aimed at 18-to-24-year-olds in his “first foray into marketing his image since selling” 80% of the marketing rights to his name and likeness to CKX Inc. in April for $50M, according to USA TODAY. The snack food is produced through a company called “G.O.A.T.” (Greatest of All Time) and will hit bookstore shelves Wednesday, Ali’s 65th birthday, at five college campuses. (Georgia Tech, Texas A&M, Penn, Ohio State and Yale) The snacks have been given boxing-related names such as Rumble, Shuffle Jabs, Corruption, Cartilage and Alzheimer’s. The treats are also shaped like boxing gloves, medicine balls, speed bags, ropes, ears, body shields, mouth guards and buckets. Mouthwatering flavors include Fruit Fight, Thrill-A-Dill-A, Sweaty Palms, Salty Abs and Slammin’ Salsa.

GARY SHEFFIELD BOOK
Still reeling from the pain he felt when the Yankees slammed the door on his ass, New Tiger Gary Sheffield is writing an autobiography titled “Inside Power” in which he “describes his relationship with” Barry Bonds, his link to Balco and his three seasons with the Yankees. “I’ve never touched a strength-building steroid in my life, and never will,” Sheffield said in the book. “The proof is in pictures and stats.” According to the book, Sheffield is an IDIOT. He agreed when Bonds said he would give him “vitamins” from the Balco founder Victor Conte Jr. Sheffield said that Conte gave the vitamins to Greg Anderson, Bonds’s trainer, who gave them to him. As he acknowledged during testimony before the Balco grand jury, Sheffield said that he rubbed cream on his knee after surgical stitches popped out while working out. Sheffield said that Anderson gave him “some cream that’ll heal you up in a hurry,” but he went to a doctor anyway. “My understanding was that the cream was no different from the Neosporin you buy at Rite Aid. Only it worked quicker,” Sheffield said. “It did work fast. It healed me in about a week.” And this book ain’t gonna heal your reputation my friend.

As always, thanks for reading. Delinda
delinda@athlebrities.com