SHIRTS OFF AT THE AUSTRALIAN OPEN

New Rule: Hotties at this year’s Aussie Open must play topless. Andy Roddick had no trouble with the rule during his practice session in Melbourne this morning. The sun beat down on his improved physique, giving us a much-needed glimpse of that Mojo. Both seem to be in good spirits, especially after he spanked Roger Federer in the Kooyong Classic final.

Tommy Haas, also abiding by the new topless-playing rule, is seeded 11th in this years Open. His body is strong, nice lines, with a hint of definition. But the lack of a happy-trail has left my eyes wandering.

Leaving his top on was Rafael Nadal. Normally I would be upset, but we’ve seen plenty of topless-tapa photos, so if anyone is allowed to break the rules it’s Nadal. Our precious import needs to focus, stay healthy and hopefully beat Him at the Open.

James Blake and his phenomenal boot-tay beat sent Carlos Moya packing with a severe spanking in the men’s finals of the 2007 Medibank International in Sydney. With this outstanding 6-3, 5-7, 6-1 victory, Blake has joined Pete Sampras and Lleyton Hewitt as back-to-back Open era winners of the Sydney International. And nothing is better than back-to-back anything-involving Blake.

JOSE MOURINHO AND OUR CHELSEA BABES

Chelsea’s Portuguese manager Jose Mourinho is so friggen hot it drives me insane. Our babes in blue challenged Wigan in an important Premiership match that ended in a 4-0 spanking to Wigan. With this win, Chelsea remains only six-points behind Man-U. The days leading up to the match were dominated by rumors that sultry Jose was ready to leave the boys after growing frustrated at his lack of influence over the club’s transfer dealings. His little pep talk prior to the match paid tribute to the injured dynamic duo of Petr Cech and John Terry. “Are you up for the challenge of playing without the best goalkeeper (Cech)) in the world, the best central defender (Terry) in the world, their deputies and more, and still going for the Premiership title, the Carling (League) Cup and the FA Cup, with the Champions League to look forward to? Are you all up for the challenge?” Damn Jose, why don’t you just bust out the paddle and teach ‘em a lesson? In any case, count me in….

NO MORE ROCKY

New Rule: Sylvester Stallone needs to retire and/or stay under a rock. Marring the otherwise glorious boys on the field, Stallone made an appearance at the Everton-Reading match in Liverpool while promoting his new film, creatively titled Rocky Balboa.

BODE MILLER CRASHES HIS WAY TO VICTORY

God bless this kid and all his entertainment value. Bode ‘reject’ Miller won the Lauberhorn downhill Saturday by doing it in true Bode fashion, crashing across the finish line. Bode finished in 2 minutes, 28.89 seconds for his 25th World Cup win. “Its tough, I knew I was pretty much going to crash in the finish if I skied the last ‘S’ like I wanted to. I was pretty prepared for it. When you ski for 2 minutes, 30 seconds before that and you don’t know how far you’re going to jump, well, let’s say I didn’t have it in my head I was going to land on my feet.” Out of fairness for Bode, the Lauberhorn is the longest downhill on the World Cup circuit and also one of the most physically demanding slopes. The final “S” turn just before the finish line is a set of sharp curves and skiers end their run with a huge jump, landing just before the finish line. Bode was good on the “S” section but seemed to have no strength left in his legs when he landed the jump, before slumping to the ground and sliding across the finish line.

As always, thanks for reading. Delinda
delinda@athlebrities.com