DAVID BECKHAM INVADES LOS ANGELES
So panties are dropping at the thought of David Beckham signing a five-year deal with the Los Angeles Galaxy. After Real Madrid spanked the beast off the team, Becks said “This week Real Madrid asked me to make a decision regarding my future and the offer to extend my contract for a further two seasons, after discussing several options with my family and my advisors to either stay here in Madrid or join other major British and European teams I have decided to join LA Galaxy and play in the MLS from August this year. I would like to thank supporters and the people of Madrid who have made my family and I so welcome in my time here making this an extremely difficult decision to make. I have enjoyed my time here enormously and I am extremely grateful to the club for giving me an opportunity to play for such a great team and their amazing fans.”

I think I may have thrown up a little after reading what Christine Brennan from USA Today wrote about the move. “David Beckham coming to the United States is [like] Tiger Woods meeting Brad Pitt on the red carpet. This transcends sports. This is a big, big deal. All that fame and fortune that he’s amassed, which is already the world’s largest snowball, is going to be rolling down the hill in the United States gathering momentum.” This momentum, which she speaks of, is going to be unbearable. Admittedly, Beckham is easy on the eyes, but not on the ears. If you’ve heard him speak you know he’s not going to land any speaking roles in any upcoming films. His Mickey Mouse voice just doesn’t mesh with the body. And don’t even get me started on his waif wife Victoria. The Beckhams will give MLS a minor boost in the States, but those of us who routinely follow Euro babes, know that Beckham just cant bend it like he used to and we’ll be left with yet another ‘celebrity’ couple with their own reality show.

JASON KIDD AND JOUMANA GONE CRAZY
Fodder for weeks, indeed. The Jason Kidd divorce scandal is just heating up. “He says he’s threatened by her? He’s a star athlete. She’s 5-foot-2, I think, and 105 pounds,” said one of Joumana’s divorce lawyers Raoul Felder. “It’s shameful what he did here. The truth will come out.” If Felder were my attorney, he would have been fired after saying: “He’s (Jason) going to have to deal with the real court and not the basketball court.” Talk about cliché! Here’s the best part of the story, Kidd filed for divorce a day after a court issued him a temporary restraining order against Joumana. So Monday night, the cops showed up at the couple’s crib and, instead of serving Joumana with the restraining order, they forced her out of the house! “The police put her out of her own home, originally giving her 30 minutes to get out with the three children,” Felder said. “It turns out the police misinterpreted the court’s order.” Priceless I say. And finally a worthy ‘misinterpretation’ by the police. (Unfortunately, Jason said he never intended for her to be kicked outta house when he applied for the order, so on Tuesday morning, they went to court to get the order clarified so Joumana Kidd legally could come home.) I’m sure Jason earned a few bruises for that move.

TIGER WOODS HONORED BY GOLF WRITERS

The Golf Writers Association of America honored Tiger Woods yesterday with the Charlie Bartlett Award for his work with the Tiger Woods Foundation. Tiger’s Foundation has reached about 10 million kids and given out more than $30 million in grants. “I’m proud of the work my foundation has accomplished, and I’m honored the GWAA has chosen to celebrate the 10 million young lives we’ve changed for the better. Receiving the Charlie Bartlett Award is a great honor, and I’m grateful for this support and recognition.” The award is given to a pro-golfer for unselfish contributions to the betterment of society. And who better to win than our Tiger. The beast will be honored at the GWAA annual dinner April 4 in Augusta, Ga, so we’ll have to wait till then for the photos.

THE $100,000 PEPSI CAN

Coke or Pepsi? As part of its sponsorship of the Super Bowl XLI halftime show, Pepsi will give away a $100,000 jewel-studded Pepsi can and two Super Bowl tickets for life. The can is encrusted with 300 diamonds, 100 sapphires and 100 rubies and was inspired by past Super Bowl rings. So how do ya get your paws on this blinged-out Pepsi can? Registration for the contest begins on Saturday at SuperBowl.com. The winning code will be revealed by a diamond-worker from Sierra Leone at the end of the halftime show.

OH BARRY, WHAT NOW?

What? No locker room access? The Giants are taking this Barry Bonds contract way too far. Now, MLB Giants execs are insisting the contract they offered to Bonds includes a provision that would bar trainers, personal assistants, friends and other members of his entourage from the locker room at AT&T Park. A baseball source said, “The posse rule is the real sticking point in the Bonds deal.” Hey Barry-no posse, no play. Stay strong my friend…and yeah, so Barry may have failed a test under MLB’s amphetamine policy last season and attributed it to a substance he had taken from the locker of teammate Mark Sweeney. Sucks for Sweeney to get sucked into the drama, but why didn’t he lock his locker? Da.

WHO’S NEXT?

ESPN The Magazine released the five sexy finalists for the cover athlete for its “NEXT” issue, which identifies athletes whose talent and style will shape the future landscape of sports and our libidos. The finalists are Magic C Dwight Howard (L), NFL prospect and former Georgia Tech WR Calvin Johnson; Penguins treat Evgeni Malkin, NASCAR stud Juan Pablo Montoya (C) and my personal choice, super fine Mets SS Jose Reyes (R). (Remember I called Dibs about a year ago on this beast). Sporn-hungry fans can log on to ESPN.com, from January 10-17, to vote on who should be NEXT. The winner of the poll will appear on the cover of The Magazine’s NEXT issue, on sale January 31st.

As always, thanks for reading. Delinda
delinda@athlebrities.com