NO!

Belgian Xavier Malisse stunned my libido and sent Rafael Nadal on a 6-4 7-6 exit from the Chennai Open. But not before giving us a few collectable images of our sexy tapa without his shirt. After perusing numerous papers from around the globe, I’ve found the most entertaining coverage comes directly from India itself, more precisely, the Hindu newspaper. Every move by Rafa was carefully scrutinized under the Indian eyes. Phrases such as a “curiously detached fellow” and “growing boy” were just a few that made me chuckle. On Thursday, one writer wrote: ‘We are sitting in the VIP lounge that neighbors the outside courts, Rafael Nadal and a few Indian journalists, late on Thursday. The World No.2 has acquiesced to a round table interview and he sits there staring at the penne pasta that the waiter has just served him. “More,” Nadal says with a frown. A growing boy must have his fill, after all. Nadal mumbles his replies between mouthfuls over the drone of the air-conditioner. The disturbance doesn’t seem to annoy him, he’s as focused on making his point as he is while playing in front of crowds.’ BUT, props to this reporter who dared to ask about his biceps. “You see mine because of my cut sleeves,” he says with a grin. “Maybe my biceps have better definition, but I’m not the strongest.” Another reporter, who should be working for me, asked Rafa if he thinks of himself as a sex symbol. His response “I don’t think about that.”

Our Rafa also had time to participate in one of India’s favorite sports, cricket. Showing that he not has only a mean swing, but a sense of humor, Rafa waited until after everyone dragged out their equipment and took position before he took the bat and said, “I play the right hand”. As collective chuckles and confusion went around, our tapa said, “Oh, s’okay, I play the left hand.”

MICHAEL ESSIEN ON TRACK

For the first time in the history of the prize, the winner of the African Player of the Year Award was decided live during the BBC World Service’s flagship African sports program Fast Track. Chelsea’s Ghanaian beast, Michael Essien won the award with a massive 66 percent of the vote. My choice, Didier Drogba came in third and Im okay with it. Essien is on par with Drogba in Hot Points…now only if he would just drop that flag.

PRETTY BOY SUITED-UP

The highest paid starting pitcher ever, Mr. Barry $126M Zito, held a press conference to flaunt his fabulousness. Like I said, Zito may appeal to many of you, but for me he’s way too pretty boy. I will give him props for finally cutting his Shaun Cassidy inspired hair and almost looking like a real man.

JAKE PEAVY ARRESTED

When in Alabama…Jake Peavy pulled up to the curb at an Alabama airport to drop off his bags. The po-po said “move your car,” Peavy said no, and he was yanked and spanked before being release on a whopping $350 bond. Padres General Manager Kevin Towers said he was told that Peavy was headed for a goodwill tour of the Dominican Republic with other major league players when he double-parked to drop off his bags and was told by airport police to move his car. “The airport police told him he couldn’t park his car there and he said, ‘Write me up a ticket and I’ll pay for it,’” Towers said. “He was arrested.” Mensa Reject points earned: infinite.

REST IN PEACE DARRENT WILLIAMS

The memorial service for Darrent Williams was held at the Great Commission Baptist Church yesterday in Fort Worth, Texas. Out of respect for Darrents family, I’ve opted not to post images of them during the service. After all, they deserve a little privacy. But in a startling move by the NFL, league announced yesterday that it would return a $15,000 fine imposed against Williams for arguing with an official in a game last November and return the money back to Darrents family.

As always, thanks for reading. Delinda
delinda@athlebrities.com