So I go on vacation and return to wake up in the Twilight Zone. Seriously, what the hell has been going on? I missed everything…(except the Chelsea-Arsenal match)…Allen Iverson is no longer a 76er, Camilo Villegas blogged, Tommy Hilfiger fingered Thierry Henry, Jose Uribe is killed, and LaDainian Tomlinson broke Shaun Alexander’s single season NFL touchdown record of 28. What a week! First I wanna give props to the Billabong peeps for a stellar event on Maui. The Women’s World Cup surfing tourney was chock full of non-competing male hotties oohing and aahing over the women who rocked the hell outta the big waves. Surfing ain’t just for the boys. Aside from this event, the closest thing I got to my hotties was spotting a Jason Kidd look-alike tanning at the beach.

CAMILO VILLEGAS BLOG

Oh, what a view…had I known that Camilo Villegas would have a sexy lawn crawling partner in Barbados; I may have been there instead of Hawaii. Our favorite beast completed the $4 million dollar event, along with his homeboy, Manuel Merizalde, in 14th place. Each kat earned 25k and a lot of media attention. The event was televised worldwide, to more than 140 nations, which translates to about 220 million fans watching our baby put it in the hole.

Feeding my libido, Camilo Villegas blogged from Barbados…effectively causing me to log-on while attempting to vacation. I admit, I couldn’t go a week without checking the kitty. On December 8th, Camilo wrote: “I like playing Foursomes, though. It’s fun… You feel good sometimes…You’ve just got to play one shot at a time and take care of business.” FOURSOMES? Hell yeah- give me a love ball of Camilo, Melo, and Drogba and I’ll be sure you all ‘take care of business’. On the 10th, Camilo continued to tease me by writing:
“ Someone asked me what I was going to do the rest of the year. That word has four letters and it spells rest. (Of course you know what my four-letter word would be) I’ve got to shoot a commercial Tuesday…(hello) This is my 33rd week and it’s been a very positive year, but I need some rest… It’s extremely competitive out here. There’s no time to blink. You start blinking, and everybody starts going past you. So it’s all up to me. It’s all up to my attitude, my work ethic, and we’ll see what comes up.” Oh Camilo, I’ve been waiting a very long time to ‘see what comes up.’

TIGER WOODS WINS 8

Tiger Woods, aka The King O Beasts, was named professional golf’s Player of the Year for the eighth time in his career. Can’t argue with that. The award is decided by a vote of players, and no one has won it more than twice. “That’s always an honor to get the respect of your peers,” Woods said. “And this year has been an interesting one to say the least, on the golf course as well as off.” Tiger is currently in Thousand Oaks, at the Sherwood Country Club, where he is preparing to host the Target World Challenge.

A SPECIAL DAVID ORTIZ CEREMONY

Another enticing beast, David Ortiz, (and the Red Sox) made a major donation to my libido in the form of $200,000. Big Papi and the Sox joined forces to help the kids at the Hospital General de la Plaza de la Salud in the Dominican Republic on December 7th. Big Papi, his D&G shades and big yellow balloon (?) are more man than this girl can handle, but I will happily take any donation he feels compelled to send my way…maybe a round of ‘foursome’ golf would be appropriate.

ADIOS JOSE

The loss of Jose Uribe hit me hard. Being a Giants fan at heart, I was really upset to hear of his untimely death. The sexy shortstop was killed Friday in a car crash in his native Dominican Republic. Relatives and friends attended a funeral service at the baseball stadium in Juan Baron, about 30 miles west of Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic. See ya on the other side my friend…

I NEED AN ANSWER

So one day he is going to be traded, and the next day his locker is empty. Seriously, what the hell happened? After 11-plus seasons as a 76er, Allen Iverson is leaving? (Pa-leeze, don’t go to the Lakers) It’s easy to imagine Iverson outta uniform, but not in another teams colors. “A change may be the best thing for everyone,” Iverson said. “I hate admitting that because I love the guys on the team and the city of Philadelphia. I truly wanted to retire a 76er.”

THE BALL

Yes…on January 1st, the old Ball to return to the NBA. No more torn and scraped hands for our ballers…Several team officials said that the league is waiting to make the switch until January 1 because Spalding “has only 450 new leather balls in storage.” Suns hottie Steve Nash, who has more class in his pinky finger than most ballers, has been one of the most vocal anti-new-ball voices, “I’m disappointed that [the league] didn’t seek more input from us before they (introduced the new ball) and I’m disappointed that we’re changing the ball during the season. After three months … it’s too late…I’m sure Peyton Manning and Tom Brady would love it if the NFL went to a Nerf ball at the start of the season, then halfway through went back to the original football, just when they were getting used to the Nerf ball.” And I love this…In an open letter to NBA players, PETA Sports Campaign Manager wrote, “PETA would like to offer a lifetime supply of cruelty-free hand cream to any NBA siss … Excuse me, superstar who’d be willing to give the composite ball another shot.” And Athlebrities will offer free ‘lotion-rubbing’ services to any hottie needing a rub-down.

ONE 4 ALL

Arsenal’s frenchy, Thierry Henry, has joined forces with fashion designer Tommy Hilfiger to launch a limited edition collection that will benefit his One 4 All Foundation. Henry’s One 4 All Foundation will also tackle racism and social equality, mainly through children’s sporting and educational projects. He also “aims to start building playgrounds and basketball courts” in England and his native country of France. (Financial Times) Once again, a mighty, mighty good man…

ANDY RODDICK SCARING AWAY CELEBRITIES

The Palm Beach Post ripped Andy Roddick and his foundation a new one this morning. Andy’s Foundation raised $1.4M for children’s charities during its annual event last weekend, but “the organization is led by a sometimes-clueless, well-meaning volunteer that usually yields to Roddick’s my-way-or-the-highway mother, Blanche,” according to former members cited by the Post. As a result, “observers fear the event, which included a poker tournament Friday at the Seminole Hard Rock Casino and a gala dinner and tennis tourney at Boca Raton’s Polo Club.” Brian Edwards, an agent who resigned last year as Dir of Celebrity Development, said, “They don’t know what they’re doing. Blanche is extremely difficult. She and Andy are classless when it comes to dealing with celebrities. Believe me, I’m spreading the word.” (Guess I am too?) The advertised attendees for last weekend’s event included Emmitt Smith, Barry Sanders, Alex Rodriguez and Paris Hilton, but they were all no shows (Ouch).

HOPE THIS WORKS

A big nod and mad props to Vince Young and baby-daddy Matt Leinart, who are tag-teaming my libido as they are planning to team up this off season on joint marketing opportunities to benefit their foundations dedicated to helping kids. Leinart: “My agent, Chuck Price, tells me it’s like Magic vs. Bird. Vince and I have a chance to do a lot of great things together on and off the field.” One opportunity is Impact Player Partners, which helps kids whose family members were killed or wounded in Iraq and Afghanistan.

As always, thanks for reading. Delinda
delinda@athlebrities.com

BID ON YOUR DREAM
Ever wondered how much it would cost to hang out with George Clooney or David Wright? How about a NY Rangers Luxury Suite, complete with hotties? Wonder no more my friends, for the right price, you can have it all. Athletes and celebrities will offer unique personal experiences or memorabilia in an auction to benefit Realizing the Dream, Inc., the charity overseen by Martin Luther King III, eldest son of the Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., and co-founded by former United Nations Ambassador Andrew Young. There are close to 100 celebrity-athlebrity wet dreams that will be auctioned through Authentic Memorabilia LLC. The auction will roll out in waves beginning December 6, 2006 on www.authmem.com. Each successive Friday, additional dreams will be added to the auction roster at www.ebayliveauctions.com.

The first ten dreams may be viewed online at www.morphyauctions.com. Several of my dreams are included: Join George Clooney at “Ocean’s 13″ Movie Premiere and then kick-it with him at a “private after party;” (my mating call) Or, bid on a dream package from Jonathan Vilma, who will make the winning bidder his guest at a NY Jets Game and the recipient of his game jersey-hopefully after breakfast; Or, a NY Rangers-Luxury Suite is up for grabs. This dream includes 12 seats for a Ranger Game this season, food & drinks with TV commentators & player visits to the suite; And finally, you can Meet, Greet and eat New York Met David Wright on the field.

JOEY CHEEK’S BIG HEART EARNS HEISMAN

Olympic Gold Medal-winning, speed-skating beast, Joey Cheek will receive the inaugural Heisman Humanitarian Award on Dec 11th, for his efforts in raising awareness of the situation in Darfur. This year, Cheek earned mega hot points not only for winning gold and silver medals at the Olympics, but mainly for donating all of his bonuses, $40,000, to Right To Play, a humanitarian organization. Cheeks’ money went to refugees in Darfur, where after three years of fighting between the government and rebel forces, more than 200,000 people have been killed and some 2.5 million forced from their homes. His actions sparked others to generously donate more than $500,000 in aid for victims in Darfur. Don’t look for the hottie on the ice, as he has since retired from skating and founded his own nonprofit organization, Where Will We Be? “Every time I receive a blessing, I look at it as an incredible opportunity to help someone else,” said Cheek, who plans to study economics at Princeton University next year. “This award is a huge honor, but even more important is the chance it gives me to speak out for those with no voice.” And I say, What A Man, What A Man, What A Mighty, Mighty Good Man. Please visit his website and support his efforts. www.wherewillwebe.org/index.html

WHERE’S MY SANTA?

San Francisco 49ers Marques Douglas (94) and Damane Duckett melted my heart as they gave out Christmas gifts to needy kids. Props to the 49ers who have teamed with City Team Ministries, which serves low income and homeless families, for donating 49 food boxes and 49 Christmas holiday boxes to 49 families in the area.

Craig Smith had me howling at the moon during the Timberwolves Holiday Party for Kids. As did Bracey Wright, who’s autograph victim looks a bit confused? The yummy event included a basketball court dedication, clinic and dinner at the Farview Recreation Center in north Minneapolis.

DAVID STERN IS FINALLY CATCHING ON
The last thing we want is to cuddle up to a NBA hottie who has scraped hands. We want out ballers with smoove-hands. And finally, the commish is listening to all the complaints about him, the Ball. NBPA Exec Dir Billy Hunter said in a statement, “There is virtual unanimity amongst the players about their concerns and intense dislike for the new synthetic Ball and the ‘zero tolerance’ policy.” Hunter said that several players told him the ball causes hand injuries. Hunter: “They tell me when they handle the ball, it cuts their hands. Paper cuts. Jason Kidd told me he gets cuts every night.” Suns babe Steve Nash, “showing off what appeared to be [an] array of friction burns on his fingers,” said the Ball is “awful. It’s like an irritant, and you get them right on the part of your hands that you’re using the most. … Sometimes, I even have to tape my fingers in practice.” More Nash: “Can’t they make a better synthetic basketball? One that doesn’t cut my fingers? The colleges use a synthetic. It’s a good basketball; they could use that. Oh, but then they wouldn’t have a new one to sell.” Super mega points earned by Nash for speaking the truth about Ballgate.

Today, the commish (NBA Commissioner David Stern) “acknowledged the validity of the players’ complaints” over the league’s new synthetic basketball and “admitted regret over not consulting them beforehand.” Stern said that the balls were being sent back to Spalding “for further testing.” The new balls will continue to be used, but Stern “left open the possibility that they would be changed during the season.” Stern: “We’ve got to do the right thing here. And of course the right thing is to listen to our players.” And yes, the Commish is already a Mensa reject member.

ALOHA

And finally this girl needs a break. I’m making my annual pilgrimage to Hawaii, where I plan on eating coconut shrimp, crashing the set of Lost again, hiking for hotties and hunting for surfers. Chances are that I won’t post until next Thursday, but if I wake up next to Kelly Slater one morning, you’ll be the first to hear about it. Until then, enjoy the hotties.

As always, thanks for reading. Delinda
delinda@athlebrities.com

OH GOD NO

Who was once one of the hottest ML Babes and has quickly spiraled into the ‘what the hell are you doing’ abyss? Yes, Derek Jeter. A man, whose name once sent chills down my spine, now has me cringing with his every move. Jeter appeared on Fox News’ “Fox & Friends” yesterday morning to promote his new cologne, “Driven,” which he said was the largest launch in Avon history for a men’s fragrance, and is also the largest launch of an embarrassing off-field endeavor. Jeter said he was involved in the development of the fragrance, as “it wasn’t just strictly an endorsement deal. It was like a partnership.” Jeter: “There’s additions to the fragrance line coming out in February, and then we have skin care products coming out in the spring.” WE have skin care products? WE? If you would like to explore what the new Avon pitchman is doing, visit www.shop.avon.com if you dare.

HOSPITALIZE ME, PA-LEEZE

If the Jeter-Avon marriage isnt enough to send me to the hospital, the Suns hotties are. (L-R) Shawn Marion, Leandro Barbosa, Jumaine Jones, Steve Nash and Mark West (Phoenix Suns) delivered presents to children yesterday at the Banner Children’s Hospital in Mesa, Arizona. I couldn’t think of a better way to wake up from a coma than to have the Suns smiling down on me…. or better yet, some Devils.

This one deserves a holy-shit-these-guys-are-hot-mention. Kudos to Martin Brodeur, Richard Matvichuk and Patrik Elias of the New Jersey Devils for visiting patients at Saint Barnabas Medical Center in Livingston, New Jersey yesterday.

RONALDINHO LAPTOP FOR UNICEF

Ya all know I don’t have an ounce of lust for soccer-trannie Ronaldinho, but I got some love for his latest jaunt. Ronaldinho has signed a Lenovo Laptop that is now available for bidding on Ebay. All proceeds from the sale go to UNICEF.

ALONZO MOURNING FLEXES

Miami Heats big guy, Alonzo Mourning has added another notch to his endorsement roster, this time, he’s oiling his joints with Flexofactor. Zo is scheduled to shoot a commercial in South Florida today for the product and said “Flexofactor has made a huge difference for me, it’s like oil for your joints, it helps promote full range of motion and flexibility.” Oh, I love me a full range of motion and flexibility, so keep on greasing those joints big guy. The 60-second TV spot is to begin airing early next year.

IT’S OFFICIAL

As announced earlier, Dwyane Wade and his luscious lips, have been named Sports Illustrated’s ’06 Sportsman of the Year. The issue hits newsstands tomorrow and Wade will officially receive the award at a party in N.Y. on December 14. SI Group Editor Terry McDonell said, “This award has always stood for more than the victory alone. It recognizes the manner of an athlete’s striving and the quality of his or her efforts. Dwyane embodies that winning spirit by playing for his team, not himself, and by working in the community to ensure young people have the chance to realize their own dreams.” Okay, that’s all fine and dandy, and you know I love D-Wade, but this award seems to be driven in part by popularity. Wade wins for those lips, skills, marketability and yes, charity work, but, Sportsman of the Year? What about Dikembe Mutombo, Amare Stoudimire or Emeka Okafor for their charitable efforts? What about the humble LaDainian Tomlinson and his record-breaking booty? Or Reggie Bush for his Yard-by-Yard campaign- oh yeah, he’s got a scandal attached, not good for a cover. Either way, congrat’s to Dwyane Wade, his lips, and god (who I’m sure he’ll thank at the party in NY.)

RED HOT

The Cincinnati Reds have eliminated black from their road uniforms and the sleeveless jerseys and pinstripes are out- thank god. The team’s home uniforms will be white with all-red caps, the road uniforms will be gray and the alternate jersey will be red. The “Mr. Redlegs” logo will appear on the left sleeve of the home and alternate jerseys. The names on the jerseys are in a new font as is the “Cincinnati” that is spelled out across the front of the road uniforms. Do I really care? No. But I do care about the hotties strutting their stuff along the runway. Notably: Chris Denorfia and superfly-fine 2nd baseman Brandon Phillips.

As always, thanks for reading. Delinda
delinda@athlebrities.com

CAMILO VILLEGAS HAS COLOMBIA PURRING

Our patience has paid off and Camilo Villegas finally has a victory under that sexy Lindeberg belt buckle of his. Our sex kitten was victorious at the Professional Masters of Golf ‘ Copa Autoniza’ in Colombia, where he inched his way towards his first professional title in his homeland. And his country couldn’t be happier. Villegas not only fulfilled his promise of returning to play in the country, but he did so with class, patience, respect and joy.

One writer wrote of Villegas: “It is necessary to be thankful to him, mainly, the patience when he took care of all mass media, including a those that didn’t understand their professionalism. It is necessary to thank him for his charisma, the affection he offered the public in general, and to the children.” Indeed. His reputation as one of the classiest, sexiest, sweetest and most talented golfers alive is well-deserved and gaining momentum. East Coast Camilo Villegas correspondent Elena reports: “Today he is giving golf classes in a private event and will fly to Barbados to represent Colombia in the World Cup. He gave the best both as a player and as a person in Colombia, and everybody is just nuts about his looks.” Meow.

KING O BEASTS START BUILDING

Golf god Tiger Woods met with Tatweer chairman Said al-Muntafiq to unveil the project model of Tigers’ signature golf course, the “Al-Ruwaya.” This is the first-ever course designed by Tiger Woods in “The Tiger Woods-Dubai,” an exclusive golf community in Dubailand. The TW Dubai will feature a 7,700-yard, par-72 course, a 60,000-square-foot clubhouse, a golf academy, 320 exclusive villas and a boutique hotel with 80 suites. “I look at this project not only as an opportunity, but also as a great responsibility,” Woods said. “I have been amazed by the progress of Dubai. From the time I first came to play here in 2000, I wanted to be a part of this amazing vision.” He said he chose Dubai for his first golf course because he was excited about the “challenge of transforming a desert terrain into a world-class golf course.” I don’t know about you kids, but I’m loving the idea of our beasts sweating it up in the desert.

NEW YORK CARES: ARENAS, WADE & JEFFERSON

Wizard’s beast Gilbert Arenas will make an appearance at the NBA Store in N.Y. tomorrow night as part of the store’s holiday toy drive. Arenas, who gives his jersey to a fan after each game, will be joined by Siohvaughn Wade, wife of Heat hottie Dwyane Wade, as the store collects gifts (through Dec. 21) to be delivered to New York Cares, which then distributes them to children in homeless shelters, hospitals and community centers. Siohvaughn Wade will donate some of the gifts to the Miami Heat Charitable Fund, and NY Net’s good-guy Richard Jefferson will be at the store Wednesday afternoon and will conduct shooting contests with fans. Speaking of Dwyane Wade…Sports Illustrated today in N.Y. is expected to announce that Flash and his lips are the magazine’s ‘06 Sportsman of the Year. Aside from his wicked on-court dunks, Wade has helped Converse, who he endorses, to hit record sales this year of $425M.

ALLEN IVERSON PERKS OUT

Oh Allen, Percocet is not the answer. Last week, precious 76ers guard Allen Iverson had a wisdom tooth removed and his doctor gave him some yummy Percocet to ease the pain. Unfortunately, the only pain felt was by his sponsors, premium seat and season ticket holders, who eagerly awaited Iverson’s presence at a meet and greet. But Iverson was fast asleep in la-la land because he popped a Percocet which “just put me out.” Trying to save face, hottie explained, “I’m not worried too much about the fine, but the fact that I missed the event. I apologize for missing the event.” Hey, it works for me. Apology accepted.

DAVIS CUP HOTTIES IN MOSCOW

The word ‘team’ always throws me for a loop. Especially in the Davis Cup. Russia or Argentina? Russian babe Mikhail Youzhny and sometimes hot Marat Safin and his facial hair, tickle my libido, however, Argentinean super-fly hottie Jose Acasuso had me hooked on Argentina.

Following Diego Maradona’s lead, my heart was with Acasuso and his tussled brown please-pull-me mane of hair. In the end, it was Russia who won the 2006 Davis Cup title after Safin defeated Jose Acasuso. And Acasuso was devastated to the point of tears. Tugging at my heartstring, the teary brown-eyed beast said, “I’m sad for having lost. I’m sad because I gave it a hundred percent. I showed a great level of game. It didn’t work for us. On the one hand I feel sad because we didn’t everything, we were so close to it. On the other hand, I’m happy with the way I played today.” Note to Acasuso: my shoulder is available 24/7.

COUNTDOWN TO THE NBA ALL STAR GAME
This is why I love Mark Cuban- because he is always right. “People go to the All-Star Game with no intentions of going to the game. They’re there to go to the parties. I bet you the World Cup finalist teams don’t draw as big a crowd as the All-Star Game” – Mavericks Owner Mark Cuban, who said the NBA All-Star Game is “the world’s biggest party, bar none.” And this crazy red-haired girl will be par-taying it up come February. Viva Las Vegas…

As always, thanks for reading. Delinda
delinda@athlebrities.com

OH BODE, WE HAVEN’T MISSED YOU

With each snowfall comes the anticipation of Bode Miller’s first drink. And on Friday, after a two-year winless dry spell, Bode captured a World Cup downhill victory in a perfectly scripted win. Bode charged down the Birds of Prey course in 1 minute, 46.15 seconds and narrowly avoided a man who tip-toed across his path just two gates below. “It’s one of my favorite hills, it really has all the stuff I look for, so to ski it the way I did today is just awesome,” Miller said. The close call occurred when a man in a green jacket slipped on the icy surface and streaked across Bode’s path. Bode never slowed down and said he had likely reached speeds near 70 mph when the incident occurred. “It’s a little bit of a distraction, but being a ski racer, you’re used to those kinds of things and you get past them pretty quick,” Miller said. “Once I realized I wasn’t going to hit him, he was the last thing on my mind.” Perhaps that victory bottle of bubbly was?

MATT BETNASKY: CADDIE FOR CAMILO VILLEGAS

As our kitten enjoys the spotlight, we gotta give some love to Camilo’s right hand man. Matt Betnasky, his caddie. Villegas has been competing in Colombia where the presence of “many ladies closely following the movements of Camilo Villegas” has made the news. What began as a small gathering of ladies on the first hole, quickly snowballed into a large ball of estrogen by the last hole. Smart, smart ladies at this tourney!

It’s important to know that when Camilo is trying to put it in the hole, Matt Betnasky is the gatekeeper. He was asked how difficult it is to take care of our kitten in a match when the “female” public besieges Camilo. Betnasky replied that its sometimes complicated, but “we are prepared to fight” that because it distracts from his duties as a caddie to chill the ladies out. Pa-leeze peeps, let our kitty concentrate and don’t turn the greens into a sorority party. And note to Matt: You and I need to sit down and have a little chat; I’ve got some top-secret crowd control pointers for ya.

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

Im hoping this little tid-bit entices you all to donate. If the kids can do it, so can you. (And you might meet your favorite hottie). Fourth Graders from the John Cooper School in Houston Texas have one upped us all. These smart little raptors collected money for Dikembe Mutombo’s Foundation and presented him with the check for $1268.50. It gives me faith in the world when I see children chipping in to spread the love. Whether it’s a donation, or buying the right RED product, each and every penny donated equates to a bucket of love to ease another’s suffering. We can make the world a better place. Props to all the kids at the John Cooper School.

AMARE KEEPS BUILDING

More love comes from Suns treasure Amare Stoudemire, who took part in building a second home for a family in the gulf coast. The project is part of the NBA, NBAP, TNT and Habitat for Humanity partnership to clean up the mess left behind after Katrina.

RAFAEL NADAL IN MALAGA

I don’t care if it’s an exhibition game, a practice session, or a sanctioned event, just serve me up some Nadal. Rafael has been participating in the Malaga Masters, and has slammed his way into today’s final after securing a victory over Feliciano Lopez. Speaking at a tournament press conference Rafa said: “This tournament is a good opportunity for a group of friends to play together and for us to have a good time, which is difficult during the season.” It wouldn’t be so difficult if you called me to play, no? I play good with group of friends, yes?

JOSE REYES AND DAVID WRIGHT IN GQ MAGAZINE

GQ Magazines December issue is a collection of sporntastic Men of the Year. Mainly, Jose Reyes and David Wright of the NY Mets. Love to Brett Martin who writes: ‘If you’re not the tiniest bit stirred, in this era of cynicism, steroids, and sullenness, by the sight of two 23-year olds, one from the Dominican Republic, one from Virginia, being united by an obvious love of the game, well then perhaps you should be rooting for a certain other New York team…’ Oh, I don’t think I’m the only one to have their libido, or testosterone, stirred by these two. Safe to say, that Jose Reyes does more than simply stir me, he drives me utterly insane.

COURTSIDE HOTTIES
A random collection of courtside hotties at various NBA games…

Adam Levin (Matchbox 20,) Tony Romo, the Game, & Taye Diggs.

As always, thanks for reading. Delinda
delinda@athlebrities.com

WHY TONY, WHY?

“Tony flew into Los Angeles last night (Wednesday) after his game and surprised Eva at her home as she got off work,” Longoria’s spokeswoman, Liza Anderson, told The Associated Press on Thursday via e-mail. “The proposal was romantic and perfect. The couple plans to wed in France in the summer of 2007 in what they describe as a big, happy ceremony with lots of family and friends.” (Insert finger down throat). I can just see Eva, accepting his proposal with one hand and speed dialing the press with her other. As you can see, I’m still not buying this relationship, marriage or no marriage. Yes, they broke up in September, but Eva’s PR girl said it was a mere ‘blip on the radar’ (kinda like the marriage?) and almost instantly they realized they “really do love each other” and reunited. Translation: Eva was pushing Tony for marriage, he said no, and then gave in to her demands. Predicted shelf life of this marriage: 2-years tops. On Access Hollywood last night, they aired a little snippet of the happy couple. Parker says: “If the relationship is working, it’s all Eva…the only thing I can do is make it work for you.” Eva giggles: “Yes you do babe, you do (giggle).” As usual, Eva pulling the strings. So, after reviewing the case and consulting with experts, I must banish Tony Parker from Athlebrities until, of course, Eva issues a press release regarding the size of her ring.

CAMILO VILLEGAS IN BOGOTA

East Coast Camilo Villegas correspondent Elena has issued an update on our kitty “Right now, Camilo is playing the Professional Masters Golf Tournament in Bogotá, Colombia. Day One was fabulous! 5 under par, eagles and birdies. As usual, he was very kind and professional with everybody.” And he looked great while doing so…thanks again to Elena for sharing the wealth, and some amazing photos of Camilo as he gets down and dirty on the greens.

CARMELO SPARKS CAT FIGHT

Unfortunately, I couldn’t be in Los Angeles November 16th. It might actually be a good thing that I wasn’t because I very well could have been “Red” in the cast of characters. During Carmelo Anthony’s M3 launch party, Sam Alipour (ESPN Page 2) reports some interesting activity occurred. In part, Alipour reports: “Being a snoopy runt, I literally grab the anti-chill bouncer’s coattail, letting him lead me towards the source of the commotion. There, I see a glorious sight: A dance floor littered with broken heels, strewn handbags and four disheveled, alluringly dressed women on their rears, pinned to the floor by bouncers Sweet Jesus, I’d just missed a massive girlfight. Thankfully, one fantastically feisty red-haired lass squirms free of her bouncer to sprint – or limp, because she’s only wearing one shoe – toward a woman whose makeup is smeared with her own blood. Red yells a battle cry (”Bitch!”) before pulling on bloody face’s blond mop. More bouncers pounce. Sadly, the girlfight is now over. Carmelo has seen enough. He floats out the club, looking pleased. I do the same, looking the same. “It was f—— crazy here tonight, just bananas,” he tells me. “We straight-up took over Hollywood tonight. I mean, a girlfight?” he adds. “I have no idea who those girls were, but I guess that s— happens in the hood.” Oh Melo, you have no idea…

ADIDAS SUPERSTAR KICKS

You all know Im a sucker for a cool pair of kicks, and adidas is now torturing me. The sneaker company has designed team-specific versions of its SuperStar sneaker for each of the 30 NBA franchises. The kicks go on sale next Friday for $100 each. *UPDATE:* I spoke to the peeps at Adidas, and here’s the run-down on the kicks. You do NOT have to live in the ‘host city’ to buy a pair of these shoes, as originally reported by OregonLive.com. Each of the 30 NBA teams will have the shoes available at ShopAdidas.com beginging “around the 8th.” Team-specific shoes will be available at team shops, but like I said, all 30 versions should be available on-line next week. Whew.

HE’S BACK

That feisty little bundle of joy, Diego Maradona arrived in Moscow yesterday for this weekends Davis Cup final between Russia and Argentina. Never lacking in enthusiasm, this furry beast checked out (Russia) Nikolay Davydenko and (Argentina) Juan Ignacio Chela. Davydenko made Maradona very happy as he won the match 6-1, 6-2, 5-7, 6-4. Argentina is chasing their first Davis Cup title.

NANCY IS BURNING

The French Riot Police might need some new training. If you’re at a futbol match, and the fans have a massive fire burning outside the stadium prior to the game, wouldn’t it occur to you that there might be some trouble brewing? Fans severely clashed in the eastern French town of Nancy, where the nancy-boys riot police had to spray tear gas at Feyenoords’ rampaging Dutch fans during a UEFA Cup Group E match between Nancy and Feyenoord Rotterdam. The match was stopped early and the French had a 3-0 lead.

TONY ROMO & JESSICA SIMPSON

No they are NOT dating. Its just really good PR for Tony Romo. The sexy Dallas QB has been all over the media lately. First, Michael Irvin’s comments about the ancestry of Tony Romo are inexcusable. Irvin, during an interview on Dan Patrick’s ESPN radio show Nov. 20, said that Romo’s skills would have had to come from African-American heritage. Irvin told Michael McCarthy of USA Today he was “joking” when suggesting that Romo’s distant grandmother “must have pulled a brother out of the barn and got down to business” to produce an athlete of Romo’s ability. Why is Irvin still working? Right now, Romo is poised to be the next big Athlebrity. In a sports section Cover Story, USA Today reports that Romo “received a loud ovation while attending Monday’s [Mavericks] game but is taken aback by his sudden celebrity, particularly with suggestions” that he’s dating Jessica Simpson. Romo, on his celebrity: “It’s not as glorified as you guys make it out to be. I’m just throwing the ball to a guy who’s open.” Victory Sports Group CEO Mike Tatoian said Romo “has not yet established the name recognition among mainstream America to move into the upper echelon of sports personalities. But he is an attractive candidate for a company looking to establish a relationship with a personality in the early stages of growth.” Sign me up.

BEN ROETHLISBERGER BUYS K9
Earning mega-hot points today is Ben Roethlisberger. The namesake foundation of the Steelers QB will fund the purchase of a new police dog and protective K9 vest for his hometown Police Department, whose drug-sniffing dog was shot and killed November 18. And no, the dog was not sniffing around Ben’s property.

FINE
Michael Vick was fined $10,000 by the NFL for flipping off fans after last week’s game. Vick will make two $5,000 donations. One will go to the family of an Atlanta firefighter who was killed on duty on Thanksgiving night. The other will go to The Warrick Dunn Foundation, which helps single mothers, including the trail of baby-mama’s Vick has left in his wake.

As always, thanks for reading. Delinda
delinda@athlebrities.com