OH GOD NO

Who was once one of the hottest ML Babes and has quickly spiraled into the ‘what the hell are you doing’ abyss? Yes, Derek Jeter. A man, whose name once sent chills down my spine, now has me cringing with his every move. Jeter appeared on Fox News’ “Fox & Friends” yesterday morning to promote his new cologne, “Driven,” which he said was the largest launch in Avon history for a men’s fragrance, and is also the largest launch of an embarrassing off-field endeavor. Jeter said he was involved in the development of the fragrance, as “it wasn’t just strictly an endorsement deal. It was like a partnership.” Jeter: “There’s additions to the fragrance line coming out in February, and then we have skin care products coming out in the spring.” WE have skin care products? WE? If you would like to explore what the new Avon pitchman is doing, visit www.shop.avon.com if you dare.

HOSPITALIZE ME, PA-LEEZE

If the Jeter-Avon marriage isnt enough to send me to the hospital, the Suns hotties are. (L-R) Shawn Marion, Leandro Barbosa, Jumaine Jones, Steve Nash and Mark West (Phoenix Suns) delivered presents to children yesterday at the Banner Children’s Hospital in Mesa, Arizona. I couldn’t think of a better way to wake up from a coma than to have the Suns smiling down on me…. or better yet, some Devils.

This one deserves a holy-shit-these-guys-are-hot-mention. Kudos to Martin Brodeur, Richard Matvichuk and Patrik Elias of the New Jersey Devils for visiting patients at Saint Barnabas Medical Center in Livingston, New Jersey yesterday.

RONALDINHO LAPTOP FOR UNICEF

Ya all know I don’t have an ounce of lust for soccer-trannie Ronaldinho, but I got some love for his latest jaunt. Ronaldinho has signed a Lenovo Laptop that is now available for bidding on Ebay. All proceeds from the sale go to UNICEF.

ALONZO MOURNING FLEXES

Miami Heats big guy, Alonzo Mourning has added another notch to his endorsement roster, this time, he’s oiling his joints with Flexofactor. Zo is scheduled to shoot a commercial in South Florida today for the product and said “Flexofactor has made a huge difference for me, it’s like oil for your joints, it helps promote full range of motion and flexibility.” Oh, I love me a full range of motion and flexibility, so keep on greasing those joints big guy. The 60-second TV spot is to begin airing early next year.

IT’S OFFICIAL

As announced earlier, Dwyane Wade and his luscious lips, have been named Sports Illustrated’s ’06 Sportsman of the Year. The issue hits newsstands tomorrow and Wade will officially receive the award at a party in N.Y. on December 14. SI Group Editor Terry McDonell said, “This award has always stood for more than the victory alone. It recognizes the manner of an athlete’s striving and the quality of his or her efforts. Dwyane embodies that winning spirit by playing for his team, not himself, and by working in the community to ensure young people have the chance to realize their own dreams.” Okay, that’s all fine and dandy, and you know I love D-Wade, but this award seems to be driven in part by popularity. Wade wins for those lips, skills, marketability and yes, charity work, but, Sportsman of the Year? What about Dikembe Mutombo, Amare Stoudimire or Emeka Okafor for their charitable efforts? What about the humble LaDainian Tomlinson and his record-breaking booty? Or Reggie Bush for his Yard-by-Yard campaign- oh yeah, he’s got a scandal attached, not good for a cover. Either way, congrat’s to Dwyane Wade, his lips, and god (who I’m sure he’ll thank at the party in NY.)

RED HOT

The Cincinnati Reds have eliminated black from their road uniforms and the sleeveless jerseys and pinstripes are out- thank god. The team’s home uniforms will be white with all-red caps, the road uniforms will be gray and the alternate jersey will be red. The “Mr. Redlegs” logo will appear on the left sleeve of the home and alternate jerseys. The names on the jerseys are in a new font as is the “Cincinnati” that is spelled out across the front of the road uniforms. Do I really care? No. But I do care about the hotties strutting their stuff along the runway. Notably: Chris Denorfia and superfly-fine 2nd baseman Brandon Phillips.

As always, thanks for reading. Delinda
delinda@athlebrities.com