JAMES BLAKE AND YOU-KNOW-WHO

Roger Federer just wont stop. James Blake and his phenomenal booty were no match for Federer who defeated our beast 6-0, 6-3, 6-4 at the Masters Cup in Shanghai. This is R-Feds 3rd straight year with 11 titles (29th consecutive win) and it doesn’t look like he’s gonna stop anytime soon. As expected, R-Fed gave himself the usual pat on the back “To finish it off by winning the Masters Cup, the world championship so to speak, it’s the perfect ending to an incredible season,” Federer said. “There’s not much more I could have done.” Of course there wasn’t Roger. Federer even had the balls to say that his win over Blake “was icing on the cake.” Can’t argue with James Blake icing my vanilla cake, but coming from the mouth of Mr. Arrogance, it sounds a bit condescending. Mad props to Blake for his wicked on-court hustle, and a massive round of applause for making it to the finals. Blake has effectively slammed his way from an 8th place ranking all the way to number 4. The ultra-classy King of Booty’s said: “Although it looked like I got just destroyed out there today, I feel like I’m still one of the best in the world,” he said. “I never would have had the confidence to even think about uttering those words a couple years ago. That’s why I’m not ashamed of anything that happened out there today, because I did my best, and he was just a level above.” Note to Blake: Roger Federer is NOT one level above and never will be. To be one up on anyone, a hottie must have class and be humble, two things R-Fed just doesn’t possess.

MILE HIGH WITH LADAINIAN

Finally, Chargers fans are getting something to sing about. Yesterday, LaDainian Tomlinson was on fire in the mile high city as he scored four times and reached 100 touchdowns faster than any player in NFL history. The Chargers handed the Broncos a 35-27 defeat and the gun-show toting babes with bolts have become the first NFL team to win back-to-back games after trailing by 17 or more points, and the first club to win four straight when allowing at least 24 points in each game. “Resilient bunch of guys,” Tomlinson said. “Our team, we’re never out of it, and I think this is a very special team because no matter what happens, no matter how much we’re down, we’re never out of the football game…I feel like Steve Young in a way when he said, ‘Get the monkey off my back’. This is not the Super Bowl, but it’s a huge burden that has been lifted off me. In five years I hadn’t won in Denver. Hadn’t had much success here, either. It feels good.” Indeed it does. Remaining the classy and humble hottie that he is, Tomlinson brushed off his well-deserved praise. “It’s a phenomenal thing. But I have a lot of guys to thank,” Tomlinson said. “Our offensive line has played great this season. Lorenzo Neal is the best at blocking, so it’s a whole team effort. I can’t take all the credit.” Maybe you cant take it LT, but we’re gonna give it to you anyway…

SHAQ AT OLSEN MIDDLE SCHOOL

This month, big daddy Shaq is doing more than just dunking balls. In his continued efforts to help lucky little raptors, Shaq has been on campus at the Olsen Middle School in Florida. Unconfirmed rumors are that Shaq daddy is filming a pilot for Fit TV and has been on campus encouraging overweight kids to get fit while hoards of cameras follow him around. Needless to say, the kids are getting plenty of physical activity- as they spot the giant beast some break into an excited frenzy that’s sure to burn extra calories. My sources tell me that Shaq has been genuine with his efforts and every bit the big huggable teddy bear he appears to be. And with this admirable endeavor, Shaq earns extra hot points.

THUMB SUCKING PAYS OFF

Francisco Totti and his posse of fine AS Roma studs defeated Catania 7-0 at Rome’s Olympic Stadium on Sunday. Obviously, Totti scored one of the goals and stuck that thumb right where I like it. Apparently I’m not the only one to adore this digit sucker. How appropriate is it that Totti and Paolo Maldini have been chosen as the faces of the new UNICEF-sponsored campaign entitled “United for children. United against AIDS”. Totti and Maldini’s launch of the initiative coincides with the 17th anniversary of the approval of the Convention on children’s rights. The Convention was adopted in 1989 by the UN General Assembly and in Italy November 20, which is now a sort of ‘childhood and adolescence’ holiday there. Could this be why Totti sucks it? To appeal to the children? The beast has been supporting UNICEF for years. In 2004, Totti donated $265,000 to UNICEF to help protect the children caught up in this asinine Iraqi war. And what I wouldn’t give to be caught up in some Totti.

BORAS TEACHES MATSUZAKA

Japanese P Daisuke Matsuzaka, whose MLB negotiating rights were bought by the Red Sox for a whopping $51.1M, sat with agent Scott Boras in the front row for Bulls-Lakers last night. It was Matsuzaka’s last night in L.A. before returning to Japan.

GOAL

No names, no scores, no numbers, no teams. Just a few really good reasons to celebrate the beauty of a goal.

As always, thanks for reading. Delinda
delinda@athlebrities.com