TOP GUNS AND HOW TO GET ‘EM
“It seems every week a Charger is in trouble with real or NFL law. Sorry, I know everyone thinks this is a good locker room with decent people, but it’s gone out of control” – Nick Canepa, on Chargers LB Shawne Merriman testing positive for steroids.

I don’t know what Nick Canepa is smoking, but an “out of control” locker room is right up our ally. So what if this is the 4th off-field situation with the Chargers? Steve Foley gets shot and faces two DUI charges, then Terrence Keil is charged with 5 felony drug counts for importing codeine laced cough-syrup, then Marcus Curry gets fired by the team after a “domestic violence” incident, and now Shawne Merriman gets spanked with a four game suspension for juicing-up. I’m okay with the Chargers letting go of Marcus Curry, but lets go easy on Lights Out Merriman. Debbie and I have conferred on the situation and come to the conclusion that Shawne Merriman will NOT be downgraded or banned for his actions. We’ve got our season tickets to the ‘gun show’ and don’t care how he got ’em.

ATHENS GONE CRAZY

In Greece, fans of Panathinaikos Athens clashed with supporters of rival AEK during a match at Athens Olympic Stadium on Monday. At least ten idiots were injured in the violence as AEK Athens supporters threw objects at fans of Panathinaikos. The police arrested several people, but were leery of bending down to pick up the thrown objects.

YANKEES VICTORY PLANE

It’s only October and already the holiday nonsense has started. Off to a very tasteless start are the NY Yankees, who have unveiled the “Yankees Victory Plane” Christmas ornament featuring the Yankees logo & Corey Lidle Santa Claus flying a plane. MLB Senior VP/PR Rich Levin: “The timing’s unfortunate. I’m sure this was done well before the Cory Lidle incident.” The residential building ornament will be released next week.

KENNY ROGERS TAR-GATE

Game three of the World Series starts tonight, and with it, some drama. In case you’ve been under a rock, here’s the run down. During game two, several of the Cardinals tweeted to manager Tony La Russa that there “was funny movement” on Rogers’ pitches. (This movement is called wickedly good pitching). La Russa then cried to the umpires. The home plate umpire noticed some dirt on Rogers’ hand and said to him “Kenny, that dirt thing that you’ve got on your hand, if you’ll do me a favor and just take it off.” Rogers washed it off and went on to pitch seven more scoreless innings. The Tigers won 3-1. “I don’t believe it was dirt,” said La Russa. “Didn’t look like dirt.” On this point, I’ll agree. It did look like pine tar, which pitchers use to improve their grip on the ball and, sometimes, alter its spin. And yes, it’s against the rules. Seeing as this is La Russa’s 5th World Series appearance, you’d think at least one brain cell would spark, but guess again. Reject La Russa did NOT demand the umpires inspect Rogers, “I said, ‘Let’s get rid of it and keep playing. That’s the attitude I took. If he didn’t get rid of it, I would have challenged it.” So in the end, La Russa let it go, and as mentioned, even after washing his hands, Rogers still pitched the hell outta that ball.

DETROIT PISTONS WARMING ME UP

Richard Hamilton, Rasheed Wallace, Antonio McDyess & Lindsey Hunter are just a few of the Detroit Pistons who are warming me up…

DALLAS MAVERICKS

Spreading some love, the Mavericks hosted a Penguin Classics Books reading event at the American Airlines Arena in Dallas yesterday. Hotties (R-L) Maurice Ager, Jason Terry and Devin Harris of the Dallas Mavericks field questions from the lucky little raptors. Extra hot points for Jason Terry (R) for pumping up the crowd.

TIMBERWOLVES LOVE
I love me some Timberwolves. Especially when they are off the court helping the community. Yesterday, the lupine hotties appeared at the dedication of the new Reading & Learning Center at the St. Joseph’s Home for Children in Minnesota.

Rashad McCant wrote a poem, which is now hanging on the wall alongside autographs and hottie handprints. Mike James and that sincere smile on the face of that boy: priceless.

ROCKETS: READ TO ACHIEVE

The Houston Rockets were also spreading their love around. Mega hot points winner, Dikembe Mutombo read to children during the Rockets Read to Achieve, as did Juwan Howard (L) and Yao Ming. *Not sure how Yao made it through this activity, I can’t even understand a single word he says.

FREE TOM BRADY FATHEAD
In the spirit of sharing, I’m giving away a Tom Brady Fathead. Yes, 100% free. If you are not familiar with these wall-mountable-life-sized edible shrines, check out www.fathead.com.Through October 31st, send me an email telling me what turns you on about this NFL hottie. I’m looking for that one special reader who can best describe why Tom Brady is worthy of our love, on & off the field. The winner may also have their “observations” published on my site. So, write-away my hungry little sporn kats, and Tom Brady might just end up being mounted on your wall. (This promotion is not affiliated with Fathead…just me being nice)

As always, thanks for reading. Delinda
delinda@athlebrities.com