ROGER FEDERER GETS WET

Roger Federer won his first Madrid Masters Sunday with a 7-5, 6-1, 6-0 victory over Fernando Gonzalez. Federer’s ego needed the boost; after all, he is the first player in the Open era to win 10 titles in three straight years. I’ll give him a little love for being a human-tennis machine. The humble hottie commented: “I haven’t played (here) for two years because of fatigue and injury, and I’ve been able to come back and win this tournament, so it’s a great day for my career.” Yes Roger, we know.

LLEYTON HEWITT: MOBILE PHONE GAMES

Hottie from down under, Lleyton Hewitt has been chosen as the cover boy and as a character for Gameloft’s first tennis game, Tennis Open 2007. Gameloft publishes and develops video games for mobile phones. “With its realistic presentation and exceptionally easy pick-up-and-play controls, Tennis Open 2007 is ideally designed for short, intensive sessions on the go.” Just the way we like it. For a short, intensive session with Lleyton Hewitt, check out www.gameloft.com.

LANCE ARMSTRONG & MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY

On SNL this weekend, Seth Myers did a fantastic impression of Matthew Mcconaughey. Said Myers during Weekend Update “Lance Armstrong is denying rumors that he had a homosexual affair with Matthew Mcconaughey after he broke up with Sheryl Crow. Said Mcconaughey: “Hey, the dudes only got one nut. The way I count, makes him a chick.”’ And for the record people, they are NOT gay…

THE RAIDERS BEAT ARIZONA?

The Raiders defeated the Cardinals 22-9. Poor Matt Leinart was sacked twice in the third quarter, most notably, and deliciously by Derrick Burgess. Again, the Oakland Raiders defeated the Arizona Cardinals. I never thought I’d be able to say that.

WHY MICHAEL, WHY?

Michael Jordan is continuing to add Athlebrity notches to his belt. This weekend he not only made an appearance during the “Jordan Classic” contest in Barcelona, but also has lost a few Hot Points. First, for meeting with Brazilian transvestite Ronaldinho and giving him a “present”…and secondly for that shirt he’s wearing. I really hope its not part of the ‘collection’ he’s promoting.

WHY LUKE, WHY?

I’m sure there some of us who clearly remember the day Steve Nash cut his hair. Now, another upset in the world of NBA coifs. Luke Walton needs a serious talking to. Why would he cut off those gorgeous, pa-leese pull-me golden curls to look like a boring baller? Grow it back Luke, grow it back!

BIG BAD BULL: BEN WALLACE

The Chicago Bulls held their Fan Scrimmage event over the weekend. Looking as edible as ever, Mr. Ben Wallace. I don’t care what uniform the beast is wearing, he remains one of the hottest Athlebrities alive.

NBA RULES CHANGE
First, they take away our NBA hotties’ ability to strip on the sidelines, but now they’ve really gone too far. Lame rules regarding our NBA hotties on-court behavior have been specified. The NBA sent a letter to its teams on October 2nd, which read: “This season, the NBA is adopting new rules designed to reduce the amount of complaining about officiating that players engage in during games. This behavior interrupts the action, distracts the fans, and conveys a negative impression of NBA players.” (DUI’s, shooting, hit & runs, weed in the car, and strip club fights still permitted).

Prohibited actions include “arm-flailing, dramatizing contact by slapping one’s arm, or through other gestures, raising one’s arms in the air in a questioning manner. Approaching an official in a hostile or otherwise threatening manner, running or jumping in disbelief over a call, or clapping sarcastically after a call has been made.” In other words, the NBA wants our hotties to lose their passion. Its gonna be fantastic to witness the NBA enforcing these new rules and an exceptional season to watch Rasheed Wallace.

TONY HAWK IS SOARING

Rolling Stone magazine is teaming up with Activision and Jeep for a promo featuring skateboard-king Tony Hawk. Hawk, who has separate deals with both brands, will now be able to sell merchandise for both companies at once; for example, Tony Hawk’s Underground 2 incorporates Jeeps into what players see on screen. I expect that more companies are moving in the direction of cross-promotional advertising. Since the advent of Tivo and DVR’s, viewers don’t watch commercials anymore and companies are finding clever ways to promote their goods via product placement in video games, movies, TV shows, and reality programs. Hawks program will begin with an ad in the November 2 issue of Rolling Stone.

ROCKET RACING

Now this is creative…the Daily Variety reports that Producer A. Smith & Co. “has sealed an exclusive deal to head up production for the nascent Rocket Racing League [RRL].” Former FSN Exec VP/Programming Arthur Smith “has already put together a plan to televise the sport, which would involve the planes competing across a race track in the air.” The RRL hopes to hold its debut race next fall. RRL President & CEO Granger Whitelaw said that he “hopes to secure a contract with one of the major networks for Sunday afternoon races, with Saturday qualifying races airing on a cable outlet.” Aljazeera has already expressed interest.

HOT POINTS

Francisco Totti, who scored against Chievo during an Italian major league soccer orgy at the Olympic stadium in Rome yesterday…and got that thumb right where I like it.

FREE TOM BRADY FATHEAD
In the spirit of sharing, I’m giving away a Tom Brady Fathead. Yes, 100% free. If you are not familiar with these wall-mountable-life-sized edible shrines, check out www.fathead.com.Through October 31st, send me an email telling me what turns you on about this NFL hottie. I’m looking for that one special reader who can best describe why Tom Brady is worthy of our love, on & off the field. The winner may also have their “observations” published on my site. So, write-away my hungry little sporn kats, and Tom Brady might just end up being mounted on your wall. (This promotion is not affiliated with Fathead…just me being nice)

As always, thanks for reading. Delinda
delinda@athlebrities.com