EXPRESS ME TO WATFORD

The first round of the WGC American Express Championship in the UK is underway and the fairways are brimming with libido enticing hotties. Unfortunately, our sexy Columbian kitty-kat, Camilo Villegas is not competing. Instead, we’ll focus our lust on Tiger Woods, Adam ‘Burberry’ Scott and Mr. Fabulous- Ian Poulter.

Speaking of Tiger Woods and his marketing power, the classy beast has been associated with Tag Heuer brand watches for only six-months. Since the first campaign around Woods broke, he’s taken a product that ranked no better than 90th in sales to the company’s best-selling watch. What a man…

THE NFL’S OWN RON ARTEST
“It was just an allergic reaction,” Owens said. “It’s very unfortunate for the reports to go from an allergic reaction to a definite suicide attempt.” No, it’s not unfortunate-its absolutely fantastic. The NFL has needed its own version of Ron Artest for years, and I do belive we have a winner. Witnessing the Terrell Owens-overdosed-media frenzy has got to be the funniest and most entertaining fuck-ups to shatter the sports world.

The media busted into the New England Patriots locker room and asked Tedy Bruschi about “the alleged suicide attempt” of Owens. Deion Saunders was questioned outside the hospital. And we even got a close-up of (oh-NO) the stitches on the back of Terrell’s “bionic” hand.

Oh, the passion and anger…all because Terrell may or may not have popped one too many Vikes.. “The rumor of me taking 35 pills, I think is absurd,” Owens said. Miss Etheredge, T.O.’s publicist is another great character in this compelling drama. She saw how he was acting, noticed the empty bottle and overreacted. “I was kind of out of it,” Owens said. “I can barely even remember the doctors, more or less the police officers that were asking me questions. I couldn’t tell you if they were the EMTs or the police or the doctors.” Which means that he wouldn’t remember if they were a redheaded blogger. Damn it. Another missed opportunity.

WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING?

Players Inc, the licensing and marketing subsidiary of the NFL Players Association are smoking crack. Get ready for “Helmets Off: Tackling Acting,” the fourth of six monthly television specials that shouldn’t exist. How they signed these guys up is beyond me…Athlebrities Braylon Edwards, Sinorice Moss and Steven Jackson are all competing in this cringe-worthy event, which pits the hotties against one another for a chance to appear on “General Hospital.” Yes, you read right, they are competing for a spot on the soap opera. Look for the show airing in October on FSN.

NBA LIVE ‘07

“Y’all talking about the Madden jinx. This is ‘NBA Live,’ buddy. Look at what my boy D-Wade did last year” – Rockets F Tracy McGrady, who is on the North American cover of EA Sports’ “NBA Live 07,” when asked by ESPN’s Steve Bunin if he was worried about the Madden jinx. Yesterday, I didn’t give enough love to the hotties while they attended the launch of the EA Sports NBA Live ’07 video game. So today, mad love for the libido-stimulating Tony Parker, Tracy McGrady and Nate Robinson.

FUTBOL SCHOOL
We got hundreds of fine soccer hotties out there, all of which I try to share with you and my libido at the same time. As you know, I follow sports via the “hotties” not just the team. With so many men, and so many teams, the leagues can be confusing. (We’re talking European leagues here.) I’m gonna try to break it down for ya as easily as possible. Obviously, the season has opened and the hotties are active. Each country has its own league- there’s the French League, Italian, Scottish, Dutch and so forth. The English Premier League (EPL) includes Manchester United, Arsenal and Chelsea. Hot, hot and hot. All “leagues” want the ultimate prize, the Championships Title. The top two teams from Europe eventually vie for this. Last year Barcelona took the prize and gave them bragging rights as the Best Team In Europe. At least for now. And for the record, you should know that Chelsea has won the last two EPL titles…god bless those sexy boys in blue….

Athlebrity favorite, and Chelsea beast Didier Drogba helped Chelsea spank their opponent 3-1. Drogba scored all three goals and gave us several of the finest sporn photos ever taken. Drogba, Michael Ballack, and Andriy Shevchenko. Print em’ and frame ‘em.

SUCK YOUR THUMB ALREADY-PA-LEEZE

AS Roma box teaser Francesco Totti is driving my libido insane. Covered in sweet sweat and fired up…if he doesn’t suck his thumb soon, he’s gonna get a severe spanking. AS Roma lost their match 2-1.

CHICAGO FIRE BALL

And here in the US, the Chicago Fire spanked the Los Angeles Galaxy 3-1 to win the U.S. Open Cup Championship. Earning hot points for a US soccer hottie is difficult. However, major points go to Alan Gordon #21 (R) of the Los Angeles Galaxy who taunted Diego Gutierrez of the Chicago Fire (on ground) while super-fine Logan Pause tried to help.

Please note that tomorrow I’m taking the day off and will not be posting…

As always, thanks for reading. Delinda
delinda@athlebrities.com