RELAX

Everybody needs to calm down about Terrell Owens. He said in a news conference at team headquarters that the confusion over his condition likely stemmed from an empty bottle found by his publicist, who was with him at the time. He said the rest of the pills were in a drawer. End of story.

WIRED UP

Tom Brady responds to a reporter’s questions concerning the possibility of having microphones and headsets placed inside the quarterback’s and offensive linemen’s helmets during a media availability at the team’s football facility. He did not, however, respond to this reporters question regarding the possibility of having a microphone and headset placed inside his bedroom.

GIMME SOME A’S

The Oakland A’s: The hottest team in the American League West clinched their division yesterday and gave us yet another, deliciously wet event. The Oakland A’s roster is more enticing than a free meal at the Ivy. Nick Swisher, Barry Zito, Eric Chavez, Bobby Crosby, Mark Ellis, and Jay Payton are just a few of the finest men alive. The hotties pounded the Mariners 12-3.

CHA-CHING

Hotties Tracy McGrady, Tony Parker and Nate Robinson are working the cash registers at the NBA Store in N.Y. for the launch of EA Sports’ “NBA Live 07.” McGrady and Parker are also cover athletes for the game.

MORE LOVE FOR KOBE

I really don’t wanna like him, but those arms. Yesterday, Kobe attended a sports clinic at the Taylor Playground in New Orleans. The Best Sports Clinic attracted such morsels as Kobe Bryant, Drew Brees, Deuce McAllister and John Salley as they gave out pointers to the kids and played a little one-on-one. Where were these guys when I was growing up?

PISTONS PLAY CENTER
The Pistons Learn and Play Center held its grand opening yesterday, but don’t get too excited, it’s not a “play center” to feed our fantasies.

The Center is located at Lewton Elementary School in Lansing, Michigan. Pistons beast Lindsey Hunter (and others) presented a fat check to principal Teri Bernero before getting his fine ass on some bean bags to read with the students… like I said, where were these guys when I was growing up.

NETS AND METS

This Friday, the Nets are gonna be huge as they take over Times Square with a 70-by-45 foot billboard featuring Vince Carter, Jason Kidd and Richard Jefferson. The billboard reads: The Hottest Show in Town … Just 15 Minutes Off Broadway. What could be better than that? How about a smaller ad featuring Jason Kidd mounted above a Modell’s Sporting Goods? Look for it next week and let me know how well Mr. Kidd is ‘mounted.’ METS AUTOGRAPHED HATS: The Mets are running a charity auction at www.mets.com for 44 player- or coach-autographed game-worn caps from their September 10 and 11 games. All proceeds will benefit families of public service people who lost their lives in the 9/11 attacks, which our monkey of a President did nothing to stop.

GIMME SOME MOYA

What the hell is in the water in Spain? One of my other favorite delicious tapas to come outta Spain, Carlos Moya, lost his match against who-cares in the men’s singles first round of the Kingfisher Open in Mumbai, India. This Open is India’s second ATP event after Chennai Open, which was first staged in the southern city in 1997. I don’t really care if it’s the first, second, third or fourth Open. Just give me some mo-mo-mo Moya…. the arms, angular face, tattoo and talent give Moya an immediate spot on the Hot List.

As always, thanks for reading. Delinda
delinda@athlebrities.com