GIMME SOME WOOD

I though the Lumber Classic was a bust over the weekend. No Camilo Villegas coverage, even John Daly missed the cut while talking to his friend Jack Daniels. But all was purrfect in the world when after the third round, the Black Eyed Peas jammed. Our Kitty-Kat, smiling, sexy and sweaty got a little love from Michelle Wie before the show, and afterwards, PGA tour hotties (from left to right) Will MacKenzie, Justin Rose, D.A. Points, Eric Axley, Charlie Hoffman, Glen Day, Michelle (yawn) Wie, Chris Smith, and Camilo Villegas posed with members of the band.

Ryder Cup hotties arrived safely in Dublin yesterday. It was a confusing moment for European Ryder Cup team captain Ian Woosnam, who held the cup outta the cockpit window after taking his Captain title literally. The Ryder Cup, which starts on Thursday, is brimming with some hot, hot, hotties-mainly the Euro team. But I gotta deduct hot points because almost every image of a hottie includes a Stepford Barbie in it. This is not good for our sporno fantasies, or libidos, so pa-leeze, leave your women at home (or at least out of the photos) If they ain’t playing, we shouldn’t be seeing ‘em.

And on that note- we know that sometimes Tiger Woods has to pee, but come on, have a little respect and STOP taking photos of him coming outta the porta-potty.

NIKE JUICE BALLS

In lieu of Tigers recent support on “steroid testing” in the PGA, I found it very strange that Nike is now advertising it’s new Juice golf ball, which is due to hit retail November 1. It’s dubbed as “the prescription for enhanced distance.”

SOMEBODY KILL ME PA-LEEZE!

Carmelo Anthony, and his fiancée, MTV VJ Lala Vasquez, are expecting their first child together in March. No I don’t want to talk about it.

MEET ME AT THE MET

It may have taken them 18 years, but the Mets finally kicked-ass and took names as they clinched National League East Title. Mad love to this team of hotties, who play as a team and worked their asses off to get here.

David Wright is so right it’s sick. Carlos Delgado is fine. Jose Reyes is super fine. Trust me, there is not one ugly player on the team. The wet celebrate was aptly adorned with champagne, hotties, cigars and plenty of sporn worthy moments.

PETE ROSE HAS GUILTY BALLS

After denying that he bet on baseball for nearly 15 years, Pete Rose finally found the balls to admit he lied. Literally. Apparently, Rose signed the baseballs “I’m sorry I bet on baseball” in block letters, with his autograph directly below. The collector who nabbed some of the “I’m sorry” baseballs gave 30 of them to Barry Halper, a limited partner in the Yankee’s who died last December. The family contacted Robert Edward Auctions to sell his sports memorabilia. “There was a box of these baseballs,” auction house president Robert Lifson said. “When I saw them, I couldn’t help but thinking, ‘Wow.”‘ To check out the balls go to www.robertedwardauctions.com.

DAVID CARR MAKES THE HOT LIST

The Texans sexiest player is quarterback David Carr. Now, his mother Sheryl has written a book called Little Drop and the Healing Places. Sheryl Carr wrote the book after Austin Carr, David’s son, was diagnosed with diabetes in 2005. The book is meant to help kids understand and cope with the disease. Shortly after Austin’s diagnosis, hottie held a news conference to announce that he wanted to do something more to help his son as well as other children suffering from the disease. “Many have come before me and many will follow, but today I will make a difference and we will fight for a cure, for my child and for yours,” Carr said. Maybe it would help me understand a little better we had our own little Carr together? Hey daddy-wanna ‘nother?

SHAQ’S O’NEAL GROUP

Shaquille O’Neal today announced the formation of ‘The O’Neal Group’, a real estate and development company that will seek to take over the world. Shaq daddy has already amassed a portfolio of residential and commercial property worth more than $50 million. “We’ve scoured the country to find an appropriate venue through which we could launch the O’Neal Group,” says O’Neal, “and ultimately we decided that the best place to start was in our own backyard with Metropolitan Miami. This is the largest residential development project in downtown Miami proper, and it sits on the site where the historical Royal Palm Hotel used to be, the property that first launched downtown Miami more than 100 years ago. I am excited about our involvement with The Met and proud to be part of the area’s comeback.” This first project, the Met, includes more than 1,100 residential units, among them the 866-foot Met 3, the tallest residential tower south of New York, an office tower, luxury hotel, entertainment complex, and the area’s first Whole Foods store.

DAVID BECKHAM LOSES MORE HOT POINTS
Whose shoulder did Beckham lean on when he got spanked outta his England Squad captain position? Tom Cruise. “When I got to America, I phoned Tom. He’s a great guy to be able to speak to because he is a very positive-minded person. It is good to have people like him around you at that point. Tom talked about everything I had done in the World Cup, about the goal I scored and the goals I set up. He said I was a great player’ that I played for Real Madrid, I’ve got a healthy family and three boys and a wife who love me to bits. It does you good just to hear somebody saying that sometimes. He’s a great example of someone who stays positive through everything. And, that’s how I started to get over what had happened with the England news. I got over it that way, with friends around me.”

Simple minded Beck’s was at his own Soccer Academy in Greenwich, London, to launch, Making It Real: My Soccer Skills Book. But had to keep running his mouth off about himself…”I don’t think I will ever return to the Premiership to be honest. I played for Manchester United for many years and they are the team I support and love. I don’t think I could put another shirt on and play against Man United at Old Trafford. I’m happy playing my football in Spain with Real Madrid. It’s one of the biggest clubs in the world and I’m happy there.” Good, stay there and stay away from banned Hot-List activities. Your eye-candy value can only carry you so long.

SURFS UP

Three-time surfing world champion Andy Irons (L) and his equally as fine brother, Bruce Irons, have signed with Wasserman Media Group (WMG). These two fantasy men are only the second and third surfers to sign with WMG since its action sports department reentered the surf category six months ago. “I think there’s a lot of need for the expansion of surfing on a national scale like we’ve done with other sports,” said Steve Astephen, WMG President of Action Sports. “These guys market well, so we’re hoping to build a lot of marketing programs around them.” Pa-leeze get this one right WMG, it’s a no brainer-they must be marketed topless.

HOCKEY SEASON

Which sport is fueled by the highest level of testosterone? I don’t know, but I like me some hockey hotties up in this beotch. God bless it, pre-season fighting is active. The real fights open October 4th.

As always, thanks for reading. Delinda
delinda@athlebrities.com