BUTT IS OKAY
What did Marco Materazzi say to Zidane the reject to deserve the head butt? Finally giving us clarity, sexy beast Marco Materazzi has broken his silence and revealed the insulting words. Materazzi said that when asshole Zidane offered to give him his France jersey after the final whistle in response persistent shirt-tugging by the Italian, he had replied: “I would prefer your sister.” Music to my ears…

“Yes, I was tugging his shirt, but when he said to me scornfully ‘If you want my shirt so much I’ll give it to you afterwards,’ is that not a provocation? I answered that I’d prefer his sister, it’s true. It’s not a particularly nice thing to say, I recognize that. But loads of players say worse things … I didn’t even know he had a sister before all this happened.” Mad, mad love to Materazzi for proving Zidane is a major Mensa reject. But even more love to Materazzi for his complimentary comments. I can only hope that one of my two brothers has the opportunity to meet Materazzi. They certainly wouldn’t get head-butted, and would instinctively give Materazzi my address. Materazzi is suspended for Italy’s Euro 2008 qualifying rematch with France in Paris on Wednesday. Meanwhile, my brothers are en route to “provoke” Materazzi for me.

A LITTLE BIT OF DAP FOR ALLEN IVERSON

Allen Iverson has signed on as the spokesman for Dap Body Spray for Men. “I am very excited to be a part of the Dap movement,” said Iverson. “I only endorse products I believe in, and I believe in this product and this brand.” Dap Body Spray will be available in three fragrances: Crew, True, and Chill and are initially only available at www.dapcircle.com. New fragrances to break soon: Courtroom, Ink and Horsemen.

GOLF

Three wins in three weeks. Five in a row. Hear the mighty Tiger roar. Wrapping up the event with 16 under, Tiger spanked Vijay Singh, who was hot on his heels. Tiger was asked about his recent play in the last six weeks, and said he was “done, d-o-n-e-, done…I just want to go home and sleep.” And I want to c-o-m-e, come home with you Tiger!

RAFAEL NADAL

Seriously, can he be any hotter? I lost my grip on reality after watching him play this weekend. I know this because every time I see a photo of him I scream - are you kidding me!

BEACH TENNIS

I wouldn’t mind getting Rafa to play a little beach tennis with me. Super hottie Alex Cancado (L) worked the sand and my libido during the Beach Tennis USA National Championship over the weekend in Long Beach, New York, while Chris Henderson(R) confirms that hotties do participate in this event.

STEVE FOLEY
Just weeks after his delicious rant about “have to hit the hot tub, and you know, sit back and relax in the hot tub, kinda loosen up in the hot tub…” Steve Foley may have gotten his ass spanked right of the List.

If I got this right, a drunk 25 year-old hoochie was driving Foleys sick car when an off duty officer followed them to his house- via a high speed chase. Foley got out of the car and began to approach the officer, who was in an unmarked car, and NOT in uniform, as Foley approached, he was shot three times. Granted, Foleys no angel, but why is everyone so quick to blame him? Criminal charges for the floozy who was driving maybe, but come on- San Diego is notorious for “trigger happy” cops who unload on unarmed “perps” all the time. Is it any surprise that when a 6’4” 265-pound black-man got out of his car he was shot? Pa-leeze. By the way, Foley is recovering just fine.

WHAT?

Cowboys Jason Witten is the official spokesperson for Pickle Juice Sport, a “noncarbonated drink that tastes heavily of salt, vinegar and dill” created by Golden Pickle Co. I’m not really sure how to process the fact that people want to drink pickle juice or the fact that Witten has endorsed it. Dude must need some cash.

P-DIDDY DIGS BECKHAM, AND HAS AN EYE ON ROONEY

P-Diddy has his hands on everything, including our hotties. Possibly starting a movement which would merge hip-hop and British football in the same way hip-hop and basketball are united, Diddy is after our boys. Diddy is already regularly swapping text messages with Beckham. “I met David Beckham a long time ago when he attended one of my parties,” he explained. “We keep in touch often. All throughout the World Cup, we were on our pagers, going backwards and forwards.” Love to Diddy for his bid of thousands of pounds at the Beckham’s pre-World Cup party to spend a night out in New York with Wayne Rooney. “Wayne is not one of my buddies yet,” said Diddy “But after he comes to New York and spends some time with me I’m pretty sure we’ll probably be cousins.”

That’s it for today. As always, thanks for reading. Delinda

ASK D&D: delinda@athlebrities.com OR debbie@athlebrities.com