ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL?

While watching a training camp report on the hot, bulky San Diego Chargers, I fell off my sofa and landed on my knees while they were interviewing linebacker Steve Foley. Number 53, 6’4”, 265 pounds of yummy. I don’t care about his injuries, stats, past DUI’s, or marital status. When Foley was asked about the rigors of training camp, he gave perhaps the sexiest and most eloquent tease to ever come out of a hotties mouth: “The worse part about all this though man is those hotel beds, you up in the morning pretty stiff, and then you have to hit the hot tub, and you know, sit back and relax in the hot tub, kinda loosen up in the hot tub…” One question: Where the hell is this hot tub?

DAVID BECKHAM
So David Beckham and his squad of Real Madrid hotties played to a 1-1 draw in an international friendly with D.C. United in Seattle. Scores of adoring young face-painters turned out to cheer for the hottest Athlebrity alive. This is all fine and dandy. But a much more disturbing story surrounding Becks, has caught my attention, and very well could knock him off my blog permanently.

Reports are flooding in that (oh god no) Tom Cruise has invited Becks and his anorexic wife to visit the aloof Baby Suri. (insert fingers down throat). And the “visit” comes with a list of how to behave around the baby. A source told Britain’s Daily Star newspaper: “David and Victoria are honored that Tom and Katie have asked them along. (major Mensa points lost for Beckham). “However they were a little shocked by the list of rules they’ll have to follow. Apparently they can’t take any photographic equipment, they’re banned from touching Suri and they’re not allowed to do any baby-talk around her because Scientology does not allow cooing over babies as they think it may effect their development.” Baby Suri Hubbard was unavailable for comment.

THAT’S CAPTAIN JOHN TERRY TO YOU

In the absence of David Beckham and his loss of Mensa points, coach Steve McClaren has made a stellar choice to fill the position of England’s Captain. Mr. John Terry. “Choosing a captain is one of the most important decisions a coach has to make,” McClaren said. “I’m certain I’ve got the right man in John Terry. (hell ya!) I’m convinced he will prove to be one of the best captains England has ever had.” Ditto that McClaren. Terry has been Chelsea captain since 2003, and led the Blues to back-to-back Premier League titles. “It is the ultimate honor to be the captain of your country and I am very proud to be given this great opportunity,” Terry said. In March 2006, Oliver Derbyshire penned Terry’s biography, titled “Captain Marvel.” Indeed.

Aside from gathering red-cards quicker than I collect sporn photos, another British Athlebrity is making news, that spitfire of a bulldog, Wayne Rooney. The beast has just released his biography “My Life So far” at the Lowry Hotel in Manchester England. Rooney is only 20-years old so what could he possibly write about? Pint drinking contests? The price of prostitutes? Anger management classes? The thing that caught my attention is that in the book, Rooney discusses his role in the 2006 World Cup. Didn’t he play for about ten seconds? Does he discuss his over-hyped injury prior to the Cup? And seeing as we’re fresh off the heels of the WC, how could he have possibly written anything other than “it was fun.” Sorry little man, ain’t buying this one.

BARRY BATS AND BALLS
In an effort to promote his exotic car dealership, Marc Chase, the winner bidder of Barry’s 715th home-run ball, is holding a press conference today at Lamborghini Las Vegas. Mr. Chase has disguised his self-promotion as an effort “to bring the ball back to the community that helped give him the opportunity to purchase the historic item.”

Barry’s bats in shortage? In S.F., Henry Schulman must have been in dire need of a story. He reported that Barry Bonds is “running out of this year’s shipment” of bats, as he puts each bat he hits a home run with in his memorabilia collection. Bonds has been using Louisville Slugger bats during some at-bats because he is “afraid of running through his supply before another shipment arrives.” Um, okay…
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NO MORE RHINESTONES FOR THIS COWBOY

The afterlife of professional athletes can be painful to watch. After witnessing Randy Moss make smoothies for his Inta Juice franchise, I’m afraid we’re about to see Karl Malone flipping burgers. Mr. Malone has officially closed on a future Huddle House site in his home state of Louisiana. The full service “family restaurant” is projected to open sometime before the end of 2006.

A TRIBE CALLED COOL

2K Sports publishes all kinds of interactive video games, from baseball to hockey. In mid January MLB cover boy Derek Jeter and Red Sox nugget Josh Beckett shot the TV commercial for MLB 2K6. If giving us two of the hottest Athlebrities alive, at the same time wasn’t enough, 2K Sports has given us something else. The reuniting of legendary hip-hop-hotties A Tribe Called Quest. Tribe will headline the first leg of the 2nd Annual 2K Sports Bounce Tour in 15 cities. “I’m excited for me and my group to be a part of the 2K Sports Bounce Tour,” said Phife from ATCQ. “It’s a win-win situation for Tribe because we get to be a part of such a dope game, and we get to reach out and touch our fans in these 15 cities. I couldn’t ask for a better opportunity. Also, I’m excited because everyone knows I am a sports nut, so being down with the game and also being a character in the game is crazy to me.” Me too Phife! For tour dates go to www.2ksports.com.

I HAVEN’T FORGOTTEN
Round one of the PGA International is underway at Castle Pines in Colorado. Our sexy Lindeberg beast, Camilo Villegas, is currently crawling his way around the greens, and tomorrow I will give you a delicious report on all his movement. PGA.com reports that “Villegas probably needs a win to claim Rookie of the Year honors, and this is an excellent opportunity. The scoring format caters to his aggressive style (eagles are worth five points), producing more leader board volatility than usual and, at least theoretically, alleviating some of the pressure on the kid if he’s in contention down the stretch.” For a full report on the tournement, go to www.pga.com.

TOUR FOR THE CURE

Gotta give props to filmmaker Cass Sapir and his brother Tim. So far, the two have raised more than $36k for the Jimmy Fund by raffling off autographed bats, balls, bobbleheads, jerseys, T-shirts and hats. These lucky, and smart, brothers are on a five-month, 189-stop trip to all U.S. MLB and minor league ballparks. Their gig? The Tour for the Cure to raise money for cancer research. Check out their website and open your wallets for a good cause. www.tourforthecure.org.

THREE DAYS AND COUNTING….until D&D answer your questions….Email us your best: delinda@athlebrities.com OR debbie@athlebrities.com

As always, thanks for reading. Delinda