YO MAMA?

Last night, during the 7th inning, Barry Bonds slammed his 723rd career home run. In the 9th, Bonds lipped off to umpire Ron Kulpa on a strike-call and got himself spanked right outta the game. “There were two unprofessional people out there at that moment,” Bonds said. “He was very unprofessional and so was I. What happens on the field stays on the field and that’s all I have to say about it.” SF fans tossed garbage onto the field in support of the big slugger and the “BS” strike call, causing an 11-minute delay. Fans also threw debris at the umpires as they were escorted off the field after the game. Nice!

“Barry didn’t like strike two. He thought it was down and I told him it was not down,” Kulpa said. “It was a good pitch and I’d been calling that pitch all night. We talked about the pitch, Barry and I. It was getting heated. I warned him, and then he crossed the line and said something he shouldn’t have said.” I’m sensing Bonds dissed someone’s mama? Too bad Kulpa didn’t challenge Barry to a head-butting contest…

I’M STUNNED

Things always tend to get crazy in Miami, especially with the po-po. Pistons hottie Dale Davis was “shocked with a stun gun and charged with assault and disorderly conduct in an altercation with Miami Beach police.” His agent, Chubby Wells “It was so ridiculous, it’s unbelievable…we’re going to take a stand.” Reports confirm that after Davis gave the po-po his identification and went outside, he accused the officers of targeting him because he is black. A scuffle ensued and Davis was hit with the stun-gun. At some point in my life I may have written this off as an Athlebrity playing the “race card,” however, I gotta side with Davis on this one. I was recently in Miami and had just left a nightclub with a group of friends, all of who happen to be famous “rappers.” I was the only “whitey” in the car. As we approached an intersection, four police cars surrounded our car. Sirens on, lights flashing, and to my surprise, guns drawn. In my naïve mind, I asked what was happening. “Stay cool baby girl, just the usual”…the usual? The usual what? We were ordered out of the car, at gunpoint, and lined-up against the wall. We stood there for about ten-minutes waiting to be cuffed and stuffed- for what, I still didn’t know. Then, without any explanation what so ever, the cops left. Just like that. To my surprise, we were pulled over for one reason only. Racism. The posse later informed me that this is routine in their world, and not to “sweat it”…Cops in Miami are vicious towards rappers in nice rides, ballers with big wallets, and just brotha’s in general. Stay strong Dale and sue the hell outta ‘em.

IF YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE HEAT, STAY OFF THE FIELD

Oh, yes, this glorious heat wave is doing wonders for our sporno collection. On Thursday, New Orleans Saint Bethel Johnson was at training camp in Jackson, Mississippi when he was overcome with heat exhaustion. After this beast was given a sexy sponge bath, he had to be carted off the field for further recovery.

FLOYD OH FLOYD
The gates of hell, also known as the French National anti-doping Laboratory in Chatenay-Malabry, outside Paris. Tour de France winner Floyd Landis’ destiny sits behind those gates, as he very well may become the first Tour winner to be stripped of his title.

Landis’ “B sample” allegedly confirms that he had higher-than-normal levels of testosterone in his blood, and contained synthetic testosterone, indicating that it came from an outside source. Mensa reject Pierre Bordry, who heads the French anti-doping scandal claims: “I have received a text message from Chatenay-Malabry lab that indicates the ‘B’ sample of Floyd Landis’ urine confirms testosterone was taken in an exogenous way.” Lab head Jacques De Ceaurriz said the isotope testing procedure was “foolproof” and “No error is possible in isotopic readings.” Two words for ya: Bull Shit. This lab could conduct a test on Gatorade that would come back positive. Until I see Landis or Armstrong pee into a vial and get tested before my eyes, I will never believe a word coming out of the Gates ‘O Hell. Former three time Tour de Farce winner Greg LeMond recently said: “It’s widely believed that whoever wins the Tour takes drugs, but it’s not true…It’s 100 percent possible to win it clean.” And that’s what I believe Landis did, win it clean.

“I have never taken any banned substance, including testosterone,” he said in a statement. “I was the strongest man at the Tour de France, and that is why I am the champion.” Hey Landis. in my world you and Lance are champions, with or without the yellow jersey.

CHICAGO BLUES

Speaking of champions, I really hope you Chelsea fans are gearing up for the game. I have the Chelsea blues today as I post from California while my posse of super-fly Chelsea supporters take Chicago by storm and get up close and personal with Lampard, Terry, Cole, Drogba, Shevchenko…oh how I love me some European footballers.

M-E-O-W

Guess who’s in mid-crawl at the Buick Open?

MAKING A SPLASH

And while my Italian may be a bit rusty, I’m much better at reading body language, particularly that of smoking hot Italians. This photo was a must post, and from what I gather, hottie won a bronze medal in platform diving…

That’s my Saturday rant…as always, thanks for reading. Delinda