Last night, during the ESPY’s, I officially fell in love with Lance Armstrong.
The show basically showcased Lance Armstrong the man, not Lance the athlete. And oh my, is he appealing in every conceivable way a man can be or what? His smile could melt asphalt, and his commanding sexuality could easily convince me to swear off Team Italy.

My thoughts as the show started…Okay Lance, don’t blow it. Just relax. Looking good, great actually. Wow, nice suit. Okay yes, the World Cup, and France, “France was in the World Cup final this year”…don’t say they lost, too corny, oh no, don’t, cringing, no don’t go there Lance, goose-bumps, “All their players tested positive for…being assholes,” I love you for saying that Lance, brilliant, yes, and my god he’s cute, what a smile, he’s laughing, oh my god he’s so cute, more relaxed, see, we like you Lance, exhale, friends with Jake Gyllenhaal, what, they’re friends, hot, hot, hot, nice, great delivery, very natural, Bode Miller is there, oh Lance don’t go there, Bode Miller “Only drinks when he ski’s” oh no he didn’t, yes he did and I love him… Once Lance got into his groove, he was priceless and I fell deeply and madly in love with him. While I realize that Lance didn’t write his “jokes’, his delivery was flavored with the perfect blend of mischievousness and sex appeal. One of my friends said to me during the show: “Who doesn’t love Lance? If you don’t love Lance Armstrong, you’re a terrorist.”

And how did those classy French reporters respond to Lance and his poigant comments? The headline that appeared today in the French newspaper France Soir read: “Welcome in France asshole!”

When I awoke from my Lance-induced-fantasy, the delicious Athlebrities who graced the event assaulted my libido. Seeing Dwyane Wade, Lebron James, Alonzo Mourning, Matt Leinart, and James Blake in suits was enough to send me over the edge.

Dante Stallworth and his pink tie were worthy of a full spread in GQ, while Shaun White looked like he was going to have a nervous breakdown standing aside Carmen Electra.

I have been looking for an excuse to post images of Jake Gyllenhaal, and now I have it. The sexy beast had me drooling like a fool during his Espy airtime…my oh my.

It’s a beautiful day in Bangkok…one of Italy’s hottest soccer studs, Luca Toni toured the Grand Palace in Bangkok today.

Speaking of hot Italians, Alberto Gilardino demands some love. This hottie got by me during the Cup, and for that, I will never forgive myself. I think the photos speak for themselves. If you just gotta have more, check out his bio on Wikipidea, or go directly to his website. Unless you understand Italian, skip the content. I suggest going directly to the ‘fotos” link…

TIGER IS HUMAN
A while ago I posted an image of David Beckham puking during the World Cup. You all know I adore the man, and the image was posted in an effort to remind us all that he is indeed human. Now, another paparazzi shot has surfaced, which I think is totally tasteless and illustrates the lack of tact some photographers possess. I couldn’t belive my eyes when I saw it, and the caption. Is nothing scared anymore?

“Defending British Open champion, US golfer Tiger Woods leaves a portable toilet building during a practice round at The Royal Liverpool Golf Club, 17 July 2006. Woods started his early morning practice at 0630 in preparation for this years’ competition which begins on Thursday. AFP PHOTO/PAUL ELLIS (Photo credit should read PAUL ELLIS/AFP/Getty Images)”

MYSPACE.COM REJECTS

Watch yourself on MySpace people- its being used for background and character checks among potential employers. Case in point: Scott Schafer, the Texas teenager who got drafted last month by the Mets learned a valuable lesson about MySpace. Do not talk about the size of your “package” or how much you “enjoy drinking beer” if you plan on having a professional career. After the Mets got wind of this rejects page on MySpace, they launched “an investigation into his character.” His agent dropped him and eventually he signed for pennies. Now, he’s pitching for the rookie level Gulf Coast Mets in Florida. Poor baby. The MySpace profile has been yanked and spanked, while the Mets have buried their heads in the sand, declining to make him available for an interview or to comment.

SPORTS AND CATHOLIC MASS?
So soccer is trying to come alive in the States, and what a better way to kick it off than with a Catholic Mass. In another “you’ve got to be kidding me” event, Chivas USA held a Catholic Mass for “several hundred” fans at The Home Depot Center before Saturday’s game against the Galaxy. This marks the first time Mass was held in conjunction with a game in the U.S. and could be the end of the world as we know it. Granted, we heard “I would like to thank God” about ten thousand times during the Espy’s, but come on. According to the L.A. Times: “The service featured a 16th century statue of the Virgin Mary from the Mexican state of Jalisco. Performers in traditional Aztec regalia, drummers and singers livened the service, during which some people wore ties and dresses and others donned Chivas USA jerseys.” Chivas USA President Antonio Cue made a disturbing announcement: He “plans additional Masses and making the Virgin Mary’s visit to Home Depot Center a regular occurrence.” I was raised Catholic, and the thought of having Mass shoved down my throat at a soccer game is appalling. Especially since every time I look at a hottie, my mind is filled with sinful thoughts. I fear that I might spontaneously combust before the pitch. Leave Mary at home pa-leeze and let us sin in peace.

That’s it for now. As always, thanks for reading. Delinda.

CANNAVARO DAY

I may have to move to Italy. I actually would have flown there had I caught wind of the “Cannavaro Day” celebration held in Naples this weekend. The heart stopping, enthusiastic Italian hottie team captain Fabio Cannavaro, enjoyed a tribute from his local Neapolitan supporters for his leadership for Italy’s victory of the World Cup. I propose that Italy dedicate each month to a different Italian team hottie. A Materazzi March, a Delicious Del Piero December, a luscious Luca Toni August and a Francisco Totti New Year…visions of D&G underwear dance through my head…and yes, I am THAT trophy.

Camilo Villegas completed the John Deer Classic tied for 47th. Although we saw limited crawling and throngs of women chasing the stud, I was just happy to see him in action. ‘‘The bottom line is you’ve got to play good golf,’’ he said. ‘‘You’ve got to remember why you’re here, and you’ve got to stick to your routine. It’s impossible to make everybody happy.’’ Oh contraire my flawless beast, remember “Impossible is Nothing”. Just show up in your flashy Lindeberg outfits, smile, hit a ball or two, crawl the greens, keep up the modeling and remain the poster child for this new “beautiful game.” *For Camilo Villegas in Cigar Aficianado magazine, see yesterdays post.

More golf treats were served up to us during the American Century Celebrity Golf Tourney at Edgewood Tahoe Golf Course at Stateline, Nevada. Tampa Bay Buccaneers Ronde Barber looks as delicious swinging a club as he does playing football. For more info on this yummy event, go to: www.tahoecelebritygolf.com.

Terrell Owens signed copies of his book last week at Wal-Mart in Irvine Texas. Yes, I said Wal-Mart. In his book, T.O. does a fair amount of trash talking directed towards Donovan McNabbin at my heartstrings. In effect, the still smoking hot T.O. has lost major points in my book, and comes off as nothing more than a big-handsome-sexy-cry-baby.

HOTTIE FROM DOWN UNDER

Mark Philippoussis spanked his opponent in the final at the Hall of Fame tennis championships today, winning his 11th career title. The stud is currently ranked number 214 in the world, and never lost a serve during the tournement. “I’ve been working extremely hard and this is when it pays off,” Philippoussis said. “I felt like I had good rhythm on my serve. I just felt good the whole week.” Felt good and looked good is more like it.

MUCH ADU ABOUT MILK

Aside from some “I wanna play in Europe” chatter, Freddie Adu has been quiet. The young soccer prodigy signed a multi-year contract with MLS in 2003 and was later drafted by DC United. In 2004, the young hottie from Ghana made his professional debut and captured the eyes of the nation. His Athlebrity status is solidified by the fact that he is the youngest international soccer player in U.S. history to have played on the under-17 national team. And now, Freddie Adu has stepped in up again. This time he is taunting us with Milk. Who will be the next hottie to increase out calcium intake? Church of Athlebritolgy God, David Beckham…the ad breaks next month and you’ll see it here first.

And as I was scouring the Internet for a pair of must-have Puma’s, I found one of Puma’s strongest selling points, Freddie Ljungberg.

That’s it for now. As always, thanks for reading. Delinda

RAFAEL PULLS OUT

What’s going on with Rafael Nadal? The delicious Spaniard has now pulled out of another tournament. This time, the sexy beast has pulled out of next week’s Mercedes Cup. Rafi’s agent sent an e-mail to tournament organizers today saying that Nadal had to drop out because of “problems in the left hand.” Perhaps his uneventful car accident hurt him more than reported? Or perhaps he’s developed carpel tunnel from playing with his “racket” too much? I, of course, am willing to help in any way possible.

VINCE SPADEA DELIVERS PG-13 BOOK

Tennis stud Vince Spadea has co-authored a book: “Break Point: The Secret Diary of a Pro Tennis Player.” In this “tell-all” book, Spadea serves up the scoop on other tennis hotties and gives us “PG-13 stories about the women he meets on tour.” Boring- where’s the X-rated version.

THE APPLE DOESN’T FALL FAR FROM THE TREE

So many Blakes, so little time…New York native, Thomas Blake, participated in the World Team Tennis Mixed Doubles Match at Harbor Island Park in Mamaroneck yesterday. Hottie plays for the Boston Lobsters, and with that said, my imagination spiraled to Marlon Brando’s infamous Last Tango in Paris quote “Get the Butter”….

COVER-KAT CAMILO VILLEGAS
For those of you who haven’t rushed out to get the August edition of Cigar Aficionado magazine, you’re missing out.

Camilo’s cover boy pose is sure to boost the sales of this magazine through the roof. And is just me, but why do so many men’s publications ignore the fact that many women read them as well? I’ve been “reading” GQ since I was five, and I can tell ya, mens mags are where it’s at. This particular Camilo Villegas edition of “The Good Life Magazine for Men.” is a must for any “sporno” collector, such as myself. Villegas seduces us on the cover with the header: Is This The Next Tiger Woods?…. along with the appropriate tag line “The Rise of Camilo Villegas.” Unfortunately, they discuss his rise in the golf world. The article is as long and delicious as our lawn-kat. It describes Villegas as somewhat compulsive when it comes to organizing his stuff- as we found out in another interview- he likes to number his socks to keep the pair in tact. He is also described as humble, easy going, sensational, and possessing the “It” factor. The “It” factor is the number one reason for choosing Villegas as our golf tutor. And he knows it. “I don’t have any idea how many people out there had no clue as to what is a par, birdie, putting green. It was golf with a soccer crowd. You could see all the Columbian flags. People yelling and screaming for me. So I clapped my hands for them.” And what did the astute designer Lindeberg say about our hottie? “I am always studying golf and I thought he was the best looking golfer ever. His arms, his eyes, his looks.” What else is there to say…

Our sexy Lindeberg wearing kat is currently purring his way through the John Deere classic. He completed round one at 2-under, and has just started crawling round two. Once again, I revert to my Wondertwin powers and beg to be transformed into…the form of…. a banana.

AMERICAN CELEBRITY GOLF TOURNEY

If in fact I could become a banana, I’d be a very busy girl. Lance Armstrong, Chris Webber, Charles Barkley and Ben Roethlisberger all competed in a practice round of the American Century Celebrity Golf Championship event yesterday in Stateline, Nevada. Webber and Athlebrity Barkley are attempting to determine who is the worst golfer outta the 81 hotties competing this weekend. They go double or nothing starting today, on the $50,000 bet Webber won last year for finishing third-to-last compared to Barkley’s second-to-last in the 54-hole tournament.

WORLD CUP DRAMA

Smoking hot Team Italy stud, Marco Materazzi went before the disciplinary commission at the FIFA Headquarters today following claims made by Mensa reject Zidane in reference to the world famous head-butt during the WC final. Aside from a lame apology to “the children who watched” Zidane continues to deny any responsibility for his actions. Materazzi has acknowledged insulting ZZ and perhaps called his mama a “whore”, but come on, get over it already. I will never forgive ZZ for being such an ass, but I do thank him for keeping WC fever alive…Speaking of hot Italians…Italian league Juventus’ hotties Fabio Cannavaro and Alessandro Del-icious Piero will be sent to the Italian second division, according to the Gazetta dello Sport newspaper. I’m not even going to try to explain the various leagues and teams in Italy, or Europe for that matter. It’s a massive cluster of hottie filled athletes and I will do my best to serve you up the edible treats who litter the league.

Case in point…. Argentinean Franco Costanzo. Hola! This fabulous addition to Athlebrities poses with his new jersey as new goalkeeper of Swiss soccer team FC Basel. I don’t think I have to elaborate on his appeal.

GAY GAMES VII KICKS OFF IN CHICAGO

I can only imagine the party that’s going down in Chicago this weekend. Half naked, hot, cut, tone and edible athletes and fans will converge for the Gay Games, which opens tomorrow. The event has already drawn more than $10M in sponsorships from a record 317 companies. Any of my readers who attend, I would love, love, love to hear your experiences and see some naughty photos.

ITALIAN TEAM DOLCE AND GABBANA AD’S
I have received hundreds of requests for those “sporno” worthy D&G Italian Team ads. They are posted on my blog dated June 15th and a permanent link has been added on the right.

That’s it for now. As always, thanks for reading. Delinda

CAMILO VILLEGAS IS SMOKING HOT

After our favorite kitty-kat captured the adoring eyes of astute fans, he exploded into the public mainstream with his appearance in People and GQ magazines. Now, Camilo Villegas fittingly graces the cover of Cigar Aficionado. The only thing sexier than Camilo in mid-crawl, is the thought of him sucking on a tasty cigar. Smoke up my delicious little kitty, I’ve got a lighter in my pocket that’s begging for you.

The issue is on sale now, and if I have to tell you to go buy it, then you’re on the wrong blog.

BIG SEXY BEN THE BULL

Obviously, I was devastated when Big Ben Wallace and his hot Fro were traded from the Pistons to the Bulls, but after seeing this sexy beast with his new uniform, I realized that I really don’t care which team he plays for. I just want see him to p-l-a-y. If the Bulls have been dormant in your sporno world, I suggest you catch a game or two. Big Ben’s strength, attitude, body and skills demand attention, on, and off the court.

KEVIN GARNET TAKES A TRIP

Kevin Garnet arrived at the Beijing Airport yesterday for on a six-city trip including Beijing, Shanghai and Taipei. The sexy Timberwolf is also cruising through India and I seriously don’t think you have to worry about him riding the trains. The trains in India seem to invoke a primal fear, with or without the recent bombings. I have been on those trains. And yes, I feared for my life more than once during the month long trip. I must also add that having a ‘personal driver’ can be far more dangerous than the choo-choo’s. Drivers blindly pass “Tata’s” (semi trucks) often narrowly escaping a head-on crash. Be careful Kevin, and good luck with the toilets.

RED SOX GOODIES FOR FEMALE FANS

Continuing to ride the wave of sports franchises tapping into the “female fan base”, Red Sox fans Allison Ryder and Kate Taylor started a brand of clothing called SoxTease. While there are no Red Sox logos on the clothing, the t-shirts “racy slogans” are sure to be a hit. My personal favorite is “This fanny’s for Manny.” Other T’s include “I’m a wreck for Tek” and “I’d get it on with Papelbon.” The top selling shirt reads “This Babe’s for Gabe.” As in Gabe “the-athlete-who-loves-to-pose-topless- Kapler. Ryder: “We sold a couple hundred of the Kapler shirts since he’s been back. But it’s always been the (Jason) Varitek shirts that have been real solid.”

LEAVE THE CHILDREN ALONE
In another not to believed twist in the continued brainwashing of children, Mascot Books has released a Boston Red Sox-themed children’s book. Hello, Wally is authored by current Sox announcer Jerry Remy and follows Wally as he “enjoys the sights and sounds” of a Sox game at Fenway. He fights with Yankee fans, throws his beer at the umpire and teaches the children how to cuss with a Boston accent. “This book highlights all the activities kids enjoy most about going to a Red Sox game,” said Jerry Remy. “If your children or grandchildren love Fenway Park, the Red Sox, and Wally, they will love this book.”

What’s even scarier, this book is part of the Sports Legends Children’s Book Series from Mascot Books. They also have books for brainwashing little fans of the Yankees and Mets. The next book? “Dorm Party at Duke” which will take little fans of Duke University through an all-night adventure with the Lacrosse team.

WORLD CUP DRAMA CONTINUES
I guess we all thought the World Cup was over, but is it really? The drama surrounding Zidanes infamous “head-butt” continues to unfold. Now, a French lawyer (of course) is going to ask a court to intervene in the controversy. It seems that there are murmurs about the possibility that a match official relied on video evidence of the incident. Video replay is a no-no, and if it’s proven that this was the case, the World Cup final can be replayed! “I am going to ask the judge to question all individuals concerned and to reconstruct the end of the refereeing,” said the French lawyer. “If it is proved that the fourth referee used video evidence, FIFA can have the final replayed,” he said. Yeah! Finally something good can come out of this and Italy can spank France again. I really don’t see this happening anymore than I see them taking the trophy away from Italy (for racists comments) and awarding it to France. They would have to prove Materazzi used racial (or terrorist) comments, and the only two people who heard the exchange were Materazzi and ZZ. Hum, who has more credibility in this situation, a Mensa reject, or a D&G model?

JERSEYS ON EBAY

If you just gotta have a little piece of the World Cup, and its not coming to you in the form of a hot Italian, you can now buy a signed Zidane jersey on Ebay. The item is being sold by someone in Australia. And while the Zidane signature looks a bit questionable, it claims to be authentic and comes with a certificate of authenticity. As of yesterday, bidding was up to about $500. And another treat to be found on Ebay, is a signed David Beckham jersey. The biggest surprise, nobody bid on Becks! Maybe because the starting bid was 1200 pounds and for that price, I would expect Beck’s himself to come with the jersey. More likely, it’s because you would have to break the glass to get to the shirt. After all, what good is a jersey if you can’t cuddle with it?

ESPY WINNERS

I don’t like spoilers, so I won’t tell you who won what at the Espy’s. I also won’t tell you which hottie is pictured above. It’s just a reminder of the eye-candy-orgy which will take place. The show was taped Wednesday evening and doesn’t air until Sunday. How it pains me to wait…if you just gotta know, click here for the list of winners.

That’s it for now. As always, thanks for reading. Delinda

A-ROD LANDS A BOX

Yesterday, Wheaties unveiled a special-edition box honoring one of the hottest Athlebrities alive, Alex Rodriguez. The box was unveiled during Major League Baseball’s All-Star FanFest. In a somewhat ‘scripted’ statement, the reigning American League MVP said “It’s an honor for me to join the great Yankees legends who have appeared on the Wheaties box through the years. Every athlete dreams about one day seeing themselves on the cover of the ‘Breakfast of Champions’ package.”

SPEAKING OF BOXES…Mine was on fire last night when Derek Jeter and Johan Santana cruised into the ballpark for the All-Star game. And that’s my complete All-Star game review.

BARRY ZITO SUPPORTS OUR TROOPS

Metro-sexual Oakland A’s All-Star pitcher Barry Zito, announced he will donate $500 for each strikeout thrown during last nights MLB All-Star Game. Strikeouts For Troops, which was founded by Zito, assists America’s wounded soldiers who have returned from the front lines of that asinine war we are fighting. It provides some “comforts of home” as the soldiers heal at Walter Reed Army Medical Center, Bethesda Naval Hospital and other military hospitals. The organization has also funded holiday dinners at military hospitals, bought Christmas gifts for families of patients unable to afford them, and helped build a hospital children’s center where kids can stay while their parents tend to their medical needs. Founded in April of 2005, Zito has raised more than $190k through his own contributions and those of his smoking hot teammates. “The All-Star Game is filled with festivities and showcases some of baseball’s finest stars who are proud to represent their teams,” explained Zito. “I don’t want this date to pass without recognizing our country’s brave soldiers, sailors, airmen, guardsmen and Marines who are America’s true All-Stars and who represent our country with honor while fighting for our freedom.” Other 2006 hotties who are participating in the Strikeouts For Troops are A-Rod, Manny Ramirez, and Jermaine Dye. For more info, visit: www.strikeoutsfortroops.org.

JAMES BLAKE SERVES UP SOME LOVE

Sexy tennis beast James Blake has launched a nationwide charitable program, based on his “J-Block” fan support network, which will benefit the USTA Tennis & Education Foundation. Blake is partnering up with Nike to develop a line of “J-Block” merchandise which can be found at the events he competes in during the U.S. Open Series. All proceeds will go to the foundation, which supports local tennis programs in the Series’ host cities.

ESPY GIFT BASKETS

Why is it that Athlebrites and celebrities get free stuff when they can easily afford to buy it all? As you know, the ESPY Awards, hosted by Lance Armstrong, airs this Sunday night. And to show their appreciation the ESPY’s are giving away a stellar gift bag. The following is the complete list of gifts that each recipient will receive: An assortment of Under Armour apparel; a Gemini 402 Camcorder; Passes to Disneyland, the iGroove all-in-one digital music speaker system; luggage; an Edgetech “Pocket Surfer”; free movies from Blockbuster for a year, a full day of Handyman Service; unlimited yoga and free gym for a year, a countless number of personal grooming products, Invicta watch from the “Anatomic Collection”; A coffee pot and free coffee; A “Harmony 550″ Advanced Universal remote; complimentary two-night stay in a deluxe ocean front suite plus spa treatments; a Signature MVP Treatment deluxe signature hot towel shave, haircut and fingernail clip n’ clean (gross); a custom-made shirt; a custom ESPY Messenger bag; personalized hand-stitched stationary; An MP3 player; a Hydrafacial; perfume; multiple games from Hasbro; Star Wars Vintage Figures; free music downloads; Bose headphones; a customized leather golf bag; a facial; a limited edition tee and leather belt; an ionic hair dryer for travel; admission for four to Six Flags; two-night hotel suite stay in the Mondrian Scottsdale; a gift card for an online language subscription; a Dirt Devil “Reaction” Vacuum; a gift certificate for a choice of shower fixture from the Movario line; sunglasses by Coach, Fendi, and Michael Kors; an NBA Inspired Warm Up Jacket; Lasik surgery; ESPN Golf Schools 3-Club Tour; complimentary two-night stay in the Salon suite at the Palms in Las Vegas; one-year VIP membership to Gamefly; a by-invitation-only program membership for premium level service and exclusive access to Sony personal shopping program; a ton of books including Natural Selection Real Men Don’t Apologize; Education of a Coach; Baseball Sudoku; Rules of the Red Rubber Ball; a 2006 ESPN Sports Almanac; Home Depot gift cards; Nikos Jewels Selectrum Pendant; teeth whitening; and gift certificates for tanning. Whew- no wonder they look so good- they get free gym memberships, kick ass luggage, free suites at the best hotels, free facials, teeth whitening and tanning. Im in the wrong line of work….

CARMELO LOVES HIS 420
And yet again, the po-po found marijuana in Carmelo Anthony’s car during a traffic stop, and although Melo was not in the car, it is registered to his aptly named company Melo Enterprises. Melo’s roommate and toke buddy, Tyler Brandon Smith, was pulled over late Sunday 20 miles northeast of Denver. He was cited for (OH NO) marijuana possession and 3 traffic infractions. After the ultra-savvy police “smelled marijuana and found a small amount in the center console of the car” he was given violations for “driving in the passing lane when prohibited, failing to drive in a single lane and failing to present proof of vehicle insurance.” Silly po-po, dude was high, you can’t expect him to stay in one lane. Lets hope this doesn’t hurt Melo’s pending contract extension. He is set to sign an $80 million, five-year contract extension today.

CAMILO VILLEGAS IS TEEING OFF
We have some upcoming lawn crawls coming our way as Camilo Villegas conquers the greens during the John Deere Classic, which runs from July 13th- 16th in Silvis, Illinois. Villegas played nine ‘practice’ holes with lucky, lucky, Michelle Wie. “I had fun playing with Michelle (in Hawaii). She’s a good girl, a good player.” The envy in me grows…Kitty-kat saw Wie around the clubhouse and asked her to join him for practice. “Out here we’re all trying to get better. I’m just trying to learn and have fun, playing it one shot at a time” purred Villegas. “That’s what I told Michelle: Make sure you have fun.” Note to Camilo, you know I love you, but I get the impression that Wie is the poster child for “fun”. Advice is nice, but perhaps it’s misdirected here. Next time you need a ‘practice partner’ call me, I can introduce you to a new kind of fun.

WORLD CUP SHAKE UPS
Judging from the post World Cup activities, Im getting the distinct impression that there is a massive amount of pressure involved in the Cup politics.

First we have Berlins top World Cup official, Juergen Kiesslin, a 65-year-old widower that shot himself in the head, leaving behind two suicide notes. Citing a police source, the Berliner Zeitung reported the official had “political problems” and remains in serious condition.

Next, Italy’s coach, Marcello Lippi resigned after leading the hotties to their 4th World Cup title. This doesn’t come as a big surprise, as Lippi suggested weeks ago that he would resign. “At the end of an extraordinary professional and human experience, experienced as the head of an exceptional group of players … I believe my role is over as the guide of the Italian national team,” Lippi said in a statement.

Now, German coach Juergen Klinsmann has also stepped down from his post. Klinsmann told reporters he was leaving to spend more time with his California-based family. “I feel burned out. I have a great wish to be back with my family and my children.” Rumors are already flying that he may take over Bruce Arena’s role as the US coach. If only we could be so lucky…

The biggest reject in Mensa history, Zinedine Zidane is expected to speak publicly for the first time tonight (in France) about his asinine chest-butt and red card that followed. ZZ will appear on the French station Canal Plus, where he is going to bury himself deeper into the hole and explain his mentality during the incident. Or so it’s reported…

UPDATED 11:20 PST: A LAME EXCUSE
This just in…..French soccer reject Zinedine Zidane apologized for head-butting Materazzi during the World Cup final, saying Wednesday that he was provoked by insults about his mother and sister. “I apologize to all the children” who watched the match Sunday. The children? How about apologizing to your team? Or your country? This was Zidane first comment about the “act of violence that marked the end of his career.” Zidane did not specify exactly what Materazzi said that pissed him off, but that it was insulting to his sister and mother. Oh, I can only imagine, those Italians can be quite creative with their insults. Regardless, isnt insulting each other, or someone’s mama, sister, daughter or girlfriend part of the game? I can tell you this, whatever Materazzi said, I’d gladly fly to Rome to take him up on it.

In a brilliant twist capitalizing on ZZ’s actions, Stein Travel in Ireland is using ZZ on their website with the logline: ‘Use Your Head”. Gotta give love for this clever marketing scheme. www.steintravel.ie

GOLDEN BALL COULD GET YANKED FROM ZZ’S HANDS
The latest: FIFA president Sepp Blatter says Zinedine Zidane could be stripped of his Golden Ball award for the best player at the World Cup due to violent conduct. Its about time! “The winner of the award is not decided by FIFA, but by an international commission of journalists,” Blatter said in Wednesday’s La Repubblica. “That said, FIFA’s executive committee has the right, and the duty, to intervene when faced with behavior contrary to the ethic of the sport.” Ya think? The biggest crime in World cup history was giving that award to ZZ. I dont know why they didnt re-vote before making a mockery of it. The press voted at half-time-obviously counting thier “chickens” too soon.

Thats it for now. As always, thanks for reading. Delinda

PACK YOUR POLE AND BOOK YOUR TICKET

Breaking news: Today, our little Rafael Nadal was driving alone in his hometown on the island of Manacor, when his car skidded down a step hill and hit a pylon. The sexy beast was NOT hurt and apparently grabbed his pole and went fishing afterwards. Rafi’s mama said by telephone “He was not hurt at all.” I for one am packing my bags and going on a “fishing trip” of my own to Manacor. Hold on Rafi, I’m coming.

CHRIS WEBBER GOES BADA BLING!

Mark your calendars. Chris Webber is doing Vegas right. Friday July 28th through July 30th, Webber is hosting the “swanky-stylish” Bada Bling event with proceeds to benefit his foundation. Delicious Athlebrity guests include Charles Barkley, Mike Bibby, Sam Cassell, Vlade Divac, Kyle Korver, Stephan Marbury, Jalen Rose, Gary Payton and many others. Golf, celebrity poker, live music and fine dining are all offered at this fantastic event. “This is an opportune for us to give back and have fun doing it” Webber said in a press release, “Personally, I feel honored by the great response from my celebrity friends, NBA players and fans alike who belive in my efforts to reach out to the community, especially youth.” Webber’s foundation provides positive educational and recreational opportunities to disadvantaged kids. So get your tickets while you can and don’t miss this delicious hottie-filled event in Vegas.

TERRIFYING TEAM BABY ANNOUNCEMENT

Be afraid; be very afraid…A few weeks ago I reported that former Walt Disney chief Michael Eisner acquired Team Baby Entertainment. A frightening company that makes videos aimed towards children ages 6 months to 5 years. The videos look homemade, with a bizarre voice-over narrating as the camera pans from “team” to “cheeeeer-leader” to “faaaan”. This morning, it was reported that the nightmare is going to continue further into the Twilight Zone. Eisner has reached deals with several pro sports leagues that will expand the company’s offerings of “kid-focused sports DVDs.” The company is expected to announce today partnerships with Nascar, MLB and the NBA. Team Baby Founder & CEO Greg Scheinman said that the NASCAR videos will “focus on the primary colors of the cars, the shapes of the wheels to teach the concept of a circle and on the pit crews to demonstrate team work.” Scheinman: “The cars do crash; we can’t sugar coat that. And we won’t have beer ads. … There is an M&M car, but we are not selling the candy.” He added that the company “plans to roll out its first videos for the three professional sports” by November 1. God help us all. If you haven’t seen these clips, give it a try. I guarantee a good laugh and a terrifying insight into the mind of Eisner. www.teambaby.com

WORLD CUP DRAMA CONTINUES

What exactly did Marco Materazzi say to reject Zidane to earn that vicious head butt? Materazzi admits that he insulted him, but did not call him a terrorist. “I did insult him, it’s true,” Materazzi said in Tuesday’s Gazzetta dello Sport. “But I categorically did not call him a terrorist. I’m not cultured and I don’t even know what an Islamic terrorist is…I held his shirt for a few seconds only, then he turned round and spoke to me, sneering. He looked me up and down, arrogantly and said: ‘If you really want my shirt, I’ll give it to you afterwards.”‘ The hottie did not elaborate on what the “insult” was, but said, “It was one of those insults you’re told tens of times and that always fly around the pitch.” Too bad ZZ didn’t get to give Materazzi his shirt, as promised. What he is going to possibly get, is a little spanking. FIFA said this morning it would open a disciplinary investigation into the circumstances surrounding ZZ’s head-butt. “FIFA will open a disciplinary investigation into Zidane’s conduct to enable it to clarify the circumstances surrounding the incident as exactly as possible,” world soccer’s governing body said in a statement. Get him FIFA!

VIVA ITALIA

Sexy team captain, Fabio Cannavaro (above), among others, visited Gianluca Pessotto in the hospital today. In a sweet gesture, Cannavaro brought the World Cup trophy to Pessotto. Pessotto has been hospitalized since an apparent suicide attempt (aka: falling out of a three-story building). The sign reads “Pessotto, we are with you”.

Pessotto, the newly appointed manager of the scandalous Juventus, was found after ‘falling’ from a window at team headquarters clutching a rosary. Pessotto remains in serious condition and is under assisted ventilation.

Is there something wrong with me? At the end of the World Cup, U2’s ‘farewell’ rendition of “One” sent me over the edge. (pun intended). The highlights made me cry. And as I watched thousands of fans from around the world, gather in the streets, I couldn’t help but wonder, why weren’t we in the streets? (Shutting down Little Italy for one day doesn’t count) Rushing from the ‘pubs’ after the games, people scurried to their cars so they could get back to work. The only people dancing in our streets were from Brazil, Italy, and France; I even saw some crazy fans from the Ukraine running around. Unfortunately, most of us have given up on a soccer craze here in the states. This makes me think that perhaps MLS should find a more enticing marketing approach? Say like, the hot-hot-hot US soccer players? I can’t tell you how many of my friends watched the Cup simply because of the Italian Team D&G ad. (see blog June 15th).

Case in point: I just finished reading a brilliant article in Out Magazine called “How Sports Became The New Gay Porno.” Indeed. They call it “sporno”. Sporno and Athlebrities go together like Luca Toni and I. Years ago, I started my sporno collection. My “first” was William Van Landingham. Number 50, starting pitcher for the S.F. Giants, delicious. Those blue eyes and biceps had me instantly hooked on sporno. (And it didn’t hurt that he had a wicked split-finger.) I eventually graduated from MLB and discovered Ben Wallace and the NBA. From there, the NFL and Michael Vick spellbound me, while tennis and futbol tickled my libodo something fierce. The rest, as they say, is history.

That’s it for today. As always, thanks for reading. Delinda

First and foremeost, I want to be in Rome right now! Those smoking hot Italians returned to Rome today and partied it up like never before.

Hotties rode on double decker buses through the city, while massive crowds of crazy natives took to the streets and celebrated the their countires victory.

In lieu of actually being there, I went on line to buy Italain World Cup merchandise. Not only did I find the perfect jersey to cuddle with, I found a few figuerines to occupy my time with. Notably, an Allesandro Del Piero, Gianluigi Buffon, and a Paulo Rossi. These “exquisitely sculpted resin 1/9 scale limited edition pieces perfectly capture the majestic elegance that these players display on the field.” True that! You can find these delicious treats at www.fifaworldcupstore.com. And if you are wondering what the World Cup smells like, you can now purchase the fragrance. The officially licensed 2006 FIFA World Cup fragrance is also avaialable at the World Cup store and is touted as: “Feel the excitement of winning the most coveted trophy in the world, wear the scent of victory. Features fruity top notes that are lemons, apples and limes with spicy heart notes of cinnamon, clove and jasmine and woody base notes of white wood, musk and vanilla.” Sounds nice, but I was looking for something along the line of hot Italain sweat, with a touch a red wine, and a hint of chocolate.

I’m already strating my WC withdrawl. It hurts. I miss the games and wonder if I’m the only one who feels the emptiness? Until 2010, goodbye my sweeties. I’ll be catching up with you during your league matches.

HOT AND HORNY MASCOT

Until now, Im sure most of you have never heard of Reedy Rip’It. Reedy is the scary mascot for the Greenville Drive, a Class A baseball team in the South Atlantic League. And Reedy Rip’It is one horny frog. On April 27th, the mascot allegedly fondled a female fan during a game, and she didn’t like it one bit. Cecil McLaurin Amick, the reject who plays the frog, copped a feel while the female was in the stairwell. She claims he (OH NO) touched her boob! As you know in my book, boobs are no big deal, so what the hell, let the frog have his fun. Its gotta be better than sweating it up in that horrible costume entertaining drunk fans and screaming children. Regardless, the frog has been charged with “molesting,” the fan (is that bad?). The team’s general manager, Mike DeMaine, said in a statement that the organization has suspended Reedy Rip’It (aka Amick) and he is cooperating with authorities. DeMaine said the team couldn’t comment on details. “We do require all Greenville Drive employees to adhere to policies listed in our employee handbook, which includes a section on professionalism and conduct.”

OUR RAFAEL NADAL IS CLEARED IN DOPING ALLEGATIONS
The International Tennis Federation said that tennis players aren’t part of a Spanish drug investigation. Last week, that French newspaper claimed that Rafi was connected to the Spanish doctor involved in assisting hotties beef up. On Monday, Nadal said at Wimbledon that he was considering suing the French newspaper which linked him to the Spanish doping probe. “We have today been assured in writing by the Spanish Ministry of Education and Science that no tennis players, either Spanish or foreign, are under investigation,’‘ ITF president Francesco Ricci Bitti said. “We feel that it is unfair and unfortunate that tennis players, including Rafael Nadal, have been named, erroneously, as under investigation. All top players are tested regularly under the Tennis Anti-Doping Program and are very aware of the rules of the WADA (World Anti-Doping Agency) Code.” The Spanish inquistion led to the exclusion of several top cyclists from the Tour de Farce.

LANCE ARMSTRONG NEEDS TO STAY STRONG

Did he or didn’t he? That is the question, and we may never know for sure. I, for one, believe Lance Armstrong did not use performance-enhancing drugs. And I stand by that. On the other hand, there is testimony to support the allegations that he did. So who do we believe? A story in the LA Times today reports that: Testimony in the legal dispute between SCA Promotions and Lance Armstrong “provides some of the most serious doping allegations to date and the first on-the-record outlines of a possible case” against him. At this point, the investigation is getting cluttered with way too many ‘players’ to follow it accurately. Like I said, I stand by Lance. To read the full story, click here.

NO RACING FOR CARMELO ANTHONY

And poor Carmelt-in-my-mouth-Anthony. Anthony’s IRL team “has been quietly dissolved,” according to ESPN.com. The team’s No. 91 “Car Melo” entry missed the last four races after driver P.J. Chesson crashed in the Indianapolis 500 in May. Team Owner Ron Hemelgarn said, “We’re parked. The funding we needed didn’t come through.” Helyar wrote Anthony “brought flash to this strapped team but not cash.” However, Anthony’s agent, BDA Sports’ Bill Sanders, said that his client “was never supposed to [contribute financially]. … The idea was for him to create buzz and attract sponsors…Carmelo’s name has a lot of brand equity, and that’s what he had to offer.” Helyar noted Chesson “groused to the Carmelo camp about Hemelgarn’s shoestring operation and the poor equipment he was relegated to drive.” By the Indy 500, the car’s fourth race, “the situation was desperate.” The team had attracted no corporate sponsors and it “needed a respectable finish to get some serious prize money and a financial reprieve.” Hemelgarn said, “Carmelo didn’t do anything wrong; I got along very good with him. Unfortunately, his name didn’t excite anybody and my race team didn’t excite anybody.” What? Carmelo didn’t excite anybody? Think again my friend, think again.

JASON TAYLOR TO DIVORCE?

Oh yeah- we may have a hottie back on the market. Katina Taylor has filed for divorce from Dolphins fine-ass defensive end Jason Taylor. The couple was married in June 2001 and have three children. Katina has requested to be the “primary residential parent” and is, of course seeking alimony and child support, probably in an excessive amount. Either way, go for it. Release this sexy Dolphin back into the wild and set him free. And how is Jason feeling about all this? “My wife and I love each other very much and with our focus being on our children, we would like to keep this as a personal matter…we appreciate everyone’s respect for our privacy.” Yeah, sorry, can’t do that Jason, you’re too hot to ignore…but let’s not get too excited yet. Jason hasn’t officially responded to Katina’s petition yet. And according to a source, the Taylors are working out their differences and have not given up hope for a reconciliation. Just sign the petition already, if you are at this point, I don’t foresee a reconciliation.

That’s it for today. As always, thanks for reading.
(World Cup and Wimbledon on next page.)

Yesterday my thoughts were dominated by two questions. First, if we can put a man on the moon, why can’t we transform ourselves into the World Cup Trophy, and second, when is Roger Federer going to stop wearing That Jacket?

When I woke up yesterday, I knew that asking for two victories for me to celebrate was too much. It was either Italy or Nadal. While I’m extremely disappointed that Federer spanked our little Spanish treat, I am also elated that my homeboys took home the trophy.

Oh, those hot Italians. With their chiseled faces, impeccable bodies, and flamboyant gestures, we are beyond introductions. You’ve seen them in action on the field, and you’ve seen them in all their glory sporting those edible Dolce & Gabbana underwear. And you’ve seen them win the World Cup. Now we celebrate along with the hotties that have entertained us for the last month.

I also give a big hug to the hottest Mensa reject in Athlebrities history. Zinedine Zidane. Zidane was given an early gift by the referee and awarded a penalty kick in the opening minutes. This momentarily put France ahead until the Italians answered back a few minutes later. With the game tied in a second overtime, reject Zidane blatantly slammed his head into Meterazzi’s chest and was red carded out of the game. With this move, the hero of France lost the World Cup for his team. Had he acted as a professional, he very well would have made his penalty kick and gave France the win. Instead, Zidane tapped into his ego, and gave the world a disgusting memory of his last act as a professional player. Just one question? How in the world did he win the Golden Ball award for the tournaments best player? Maybe the journalists who voted had their blinders on or maybe this is their way of saying ‘thanks for the great play over the years, enjoy your retirement.’ Either way, I don’t think anyone will forget this final game anytime soon, nor will they forget how Zidane lost the Cup for France. Enjoy your retirement Zidane, while we enjoy the hot Italians and their much-deserved victory.

Athlebrities would like to officially thank Gennaro Gattuso for celebrating in a manner that we could definitely become accustomed to. I must also ask the question- what the hell possessed Francisco Totti after the game? Love you Totti, but stick to the sexy thumb sucking, its far less scary.

Thank You team Italy for sending my libido into overtime with your kissing, nudity, penalty kicks, flamboyance, stunning looks, sexy tattoo’s, hot underwear, flawless bodies, endless fantasies, exciting games, and of course, the victory.

RAFAEL NADAL TAKES A HARD LOSS

Okay, yes, the best tennis player in the world, Roger Federer spanked our little Rafi outta Wimbledon yesterday. Yes, Roger Federer kicks ass. Yes he’s awesome on the court. Yes, he’s almost impossible to beat. Yes, yes, yes. It’s not that I don’t like the guy, I just don’t like to think of how crushed Rafael must be today. I feel for Raphael because is much more likeable than Roger and his “Of course I won” attitude. Roger cries when he loses, Rafael cries when he wins. Roger pouts when he loses, Raphael does not. Roger expects to win, while Raphael earns it. Plus, Raphael’s biceps are about three inches bigger than Rogers. I will give a little love to Roger for his victory, and a lot of love to Raphael for making it to the Final. And a big thanks for all the boys for making it a delicious, yet confusing Sunday.

M-E-O-W-O-U-T OF CIALAS

One hottie who gets love in the absence of play, is Camilo Villegas. Our favorite lawn-kat missed the cut at the Cialas Open and didn’t play this weekend. Hottie missed the cut after following his open round even par with one-over 72 on Friday. But not before we saw a little crawling and a lot of hotness from this sexy beast.

More later. That’s it for now. As always, thanks for reading. Delinda

What a hottie filled weekend we have…golf, tennis, and hot Italians. This Sunday is going to be confusing. We’ve got Rafael Nadal attempting to humble Roger Federer at Wimbledon, the World Cup Final between Italy and France, and sexy Camilo Villegas crawling the greens at the Cialas Open.

First and foremost, the World Cup is a no-brainer for this Italian girl. I’ll be watching and cheering for my homeboys during this beautiful game that only comes around every four years. Wimbledon is also a no-brainer. If Rafi doesn’t win, I’ll be crushed along with him. Definitely a match to be recorded. I can also record Camilo for my porn collection and enjoy him later. Speaking of the kitty-

The second round of the Cialas Open is in progress, which means that our sexy lawn-kat, Camilo Villegas is purring…Sporting his usual sexy-hot Lindeberg garb, Villegas completed the first round even with a 71. Its too early to tell if this beast, who ranks 26th on the current money list ($1,366,595 in earnings) will add another large purse to his expanding portfolio. Last year, Camilo played on a sponsor’s exemption in the same tourney, where he crawled his way into a 40th place finish. The tournement runs through Sunday.

RAFAEL BURNS THROUGH BAGHDATIS TO GET TO THE FINALS

Say it ain’t so…reigning tennis Athlebrity favorite, Rafael Nadal, withdrew from next week’s clay-court Swedish Open. Sexy little Rafi had to pull out because he is exhausted from spanking stud Marcos Baghdatis out of the Wimbledon semifinals today. “It is incredibly frustrating to have to withdraw from my favorite tournament,” Nadal said in a statement. “I will now do everything I can to win Wimbledon, but I am completely worn out and there is unfortunately no way to reload for another week.” Not true my little Spanish treat, just call me and I can show you many, many ways to help you “reload.”

The oh-so-arrogant Roger Federer defeated Jonas Bjorkman today, earning his way to his 4th consecutive Wimbledon Final. While his attitude and tired jacket may turn me off, I cant begrudge Federer his phenomenal run. He has now won 47 matches in a row on grass and hasn’t dropped a set in this year’s tournament. The last person to achieve this was the now defunct Bjorn Borg- 30 years ago. “I played a secure game plan in the beginning and then I really got on a roll and I played excellent tennis,” boasted Federer. “It was difficult because I was such a big favorite coming into this match…I had to be very careful. I really got on a roll and played excellent tennis.” Of course you did Roger, but can you do it again Sunday?

The ‘Favorite Disgruntled Fan Award’ goes to…the Man-U fan that put Cristiano Ronaldo up for sale on Ebay. Bidding for the bugging hottie reached L10,000 before Ebay shut it down. The sales pitch: “Cristiano Ronaldo cheating goofy England hating Portugezer, requesting first class ticket out of England. Unfortunately not welcome within 120 miles of Manchester. Requires good accommodation with torture chamber and enjoys 23.5 hours a day on the rack. Will never be allowed access to the UK ever again so if purchased, a holiday to England is out of the question. If you are the unfortunate successful bidder your life will not be worth living…we will find you!!!!”

Makes me wonder how much the entire Italian team would fetch?

I would not hesitate to bid on a little get-away with Francesco Suck-My-Thumb-Totti, Luscious Luca Toni or Delicious Del Piero.

Who will win the Golden Ball? Italy or France? Watch the match this Sunday to find out.

That’s it for now. As always, thanks for reading. Delinda

HAPPY TRAILS ARE HERE AGAIN!

Sexy Rafael Nadal and his fabulous biceps spanked Jarkko Nieminen right outta Wimbledon, earning himself a spot in the semi-finals where he will take-on Marcos Baghdatis. Rafael’s advancement is no surprise, but the number of Wimbledon crashers on the court is amazing. We gave props to the outstanding streeker a few days ago, and just when things looked like they were settling down, along comes another guy.

An unidentified “protester” invaded Center Court yesterday during the Federer-Ancic match (Yes, Federer won). Military stewards were quick to nab the unruly fan, who claimed to be a protestor from an organization for father’s rights. I have to also give props to the protester. Not because of his Mensa like affiliation with “fathers rights” but because he has also shown us how easy it is to get on the court during a match. Look out Rafi, I’m coming…

Maybe the edible Pittsburgh Steelers linebacker Larry Foote, could take a clue form the protester? Foote has asked a Michigan court to award him custody of a 10-year-old son he says he did not know existed until two years ago. I can hardly wait to see what his ‘baby mama’ looks like, and to find out why it took him 2 years to file a claim? Mark your calendars; a hearing is scheduled for July 5.

KITTY TREATS

Another hottie that needs to keep an eye out for me is Camilo Villegas. The greens serve us notoriously accessible hotties, and while I really wouldn’t jump the kitty during a tournement, I would be extremely tempted. Don’t miss Camilo’s sexy crawling at the Cialis Western Open in Lemont Illinois, which is currently underway.

STOP TALKING AND POSE

Oh, that crazy Terrell Owens. The hot NFL beast has released his latest book today and it’s creating quite a buzz. In the book, Owens whines about Donovan: “Then Donovan added salt to the wound by coming out and saying the Eagles would be better off without me. Donovan’s statement created a public ultimatum for Coach Reid. Left with no choice, Coach Reid suspended me for the season.” Blah, blah, blah…just fill the book with photos T.O. and ya got yourself a bestseller.

VIVA LA LANCE
Lance Armstrong has settled his libel suit against the London Times over a story alleging that he juiced up. The newspaper had reprinted claims that were in the book “L.A. Confidential, The Secrets of Lance Armstrong.” Too bad the paper didn’t reprint any of the information from “The Science of Lance”- a fantastic special which examines Lance’s natural, superior athletic abilities.

YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING
Why is this country so uptight about nudity, particularly boobs? Seriously. I’d like to find one person who was really, truly offended by Janet Jackson’s beautiful boob popping out during the 2004 Superbowl halftime show. Ladies if you have ever enjoyed sunbathing topless, now is the time to start the “Boobs Are No Big Deal” campaign. If we don’t, tan lines from hell remain in our future.

Jackson’s boob made an appearance for only a few seconds, a few seconds that could mark the end of boob exposure as we know it. This incident caught the attention of the Mensa reject monkey running this country, and on June 15th, the monkey picked up a pen and signed a new law increasing fines tenfold for broadcasters who violate decency laws in their programming. The new law is a direct result of a two-year effort to get “tough” on the broadcast of obscene material, following Jackson’s “wardrobe malfunction.” Someone pa-leeze tell me why this constitutes “obscene.” Chalk one up to the monkey for giving the World yet another reason to laugh at us.

That’s it for now. As always, thanks for reading. Delinda