IT WAS JUST A MATTER OF TIME

As predicted, Floyd Landis, the American Tour De France champion, has “allegedly” tested positive for “High levels of testosterone.” I didn’t realize that high testosterone levels were the same as “doping,” but if you’re the UCI or French, it’s a no-no. Landis’ Swiss-based Phonak team said it was notified by the UCI on Wednesday that Landis’ sample showed “an unusual level of testosterone/epitestosterone” when he was tested after stage 17 of the race last Thursday. Coincidentally, stage 17 is where Landis made his remarkable comeback from 11th place and regained the leader’s yellow jersey two days later. Landis’ mama is currently living on Mars: “I didn’t talk to him since that hit the fan, but I’m keeping things even keel until I know what the facts are,” she said in a phone interview from outer space. “I know that this is a temptation to every rider but I’m not going to jump to conclusions … It disappoints me.” Mama, you just made it into the Mensa Reject Hall of Fame. I personally, am gonna stand by Floyd on this one. The urine will be retested and the French will still complain. And yet another much-t0-do-about-nothing.

DAVID BECKHAM

Any David Beckham movement is newsworthy. I get daily news reports sent to me, and I gotta say, Becks regularly makes headlines in India, the UK, and Asia. This time, David Beckham landed at the airport en route to Real Madrid’s training camp in southern Austria. Love to the media chick in pink gone cray-zee.

The worldwide appeal of soccer Athlebrities is well illustrated in two ads from Japan. The Pepsi ad with Beckham and his entourage made me swear off Coke, and Freddie Ljungberg nibbling on Pringles…’nough said.

JAMES BLAKE MAKES ME THIRSTY

James Blake is having a phenomenal year, with or without a racket in his hand. Blake has signed a multi-year endorsement deal with Evian “worth well into the six-figures,” making him the company’s first athlete endorser. Evian’s CEO: “It’s not so much about finding an athlete that’s great for Evian. We look for somebody who’s going to embody all the great things about the Evian brand.” And what a thirst quencher he is…

HOT WHEELS
The German Grand Prix takes place on Sunday, and I gotta say, some of these drivers got a stronghold on my libido.

German Formula One drivers, the infamous Michael Schumacher (L) of team Ferrari and helloooo Nick Heidfeld (R) of team BMW Sauber are two hotties I’d like to do a few slow laps around.

Renault’s Formula One world champion Fernando Alonso of Spain should be arrested for hiding that body behind the wheel. And Michael Schumacher may look good in red, but needs to lose the white pants. Actually, it’d be nice if they all lost their pants.

LET’S GET READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL HOTTIES
The hotties are flocking to their respective NFL training camps, and looking as delicious as ever. What I love about these photos, aside from the centerpieces, is the fact that they are shunning bellhops and carrying their own luggage. Is there a new NFL rule that forbids players from interacting with hotel staff?

Chicago Bears hotties unload: Dante Wesley packs like a woman, defensive tackle Ian Scott brought along his own pillow, and quarterback Rex Grossman looks like he’s ready for boot camp. The Bears camp is located in Bourbonnais, Ill.

St. Louis Rams hotties: Torry Holt is all business, Jeremy Calahan booked a room with no AC, and defensive end Brandon Green has been assigned to lead the camp-fire sing-along later tonight.

This girl is off to Las Vegas for the weekend, so no post tomorrow. Chris Webber’s Bada-Bling charity event is going down (www.cwebbsbadabling.com) and Vegas is ripe with Athlebrities. I promise a full and detailed report when I’m sober enough to type!

That’s it for now. As always, thanks for reading. Delinda