WE’RE ALMOST THERE….

Just one tiny piece of fabric stands between us, and seeing Sir Beckham naked. I gotta give props to the “paparazzi” for these photos of David ‘God’ Beckham swimming in white Speedos while enjoying Roberto Cavalli’s yacht last weekend. His tattoo’s are proudly displayed (along with everything else) his abs look sweet and salty, and his hair nicely tussled. I’d expect nothing less.

The hot rumor is that Becks, his Speedos, his anorexic wife, and two children might be moving to Los Angeles. I seriously doubt this is gonna happen, so don’t loose your panties just yet ladies. And apparently, Becks and Posh have announced that they are having sex! The announcement was disguised as “we’re trying to have a baby,” which then translates into “yes we are a happy couple” and then “yes, anorexics can conceive” and “No I don’t think my wife is too thin”….

ANDY, ANDY, ANDY

Andy Roddick couldn’t wait to get out of the chair after announcing that the legendary Jimmy Connors will be his new coach. If Jimmy Connors is still Andy’s coach in a year, then I’ll be excited. Andy changes coaches like Camilo Villegas changes his socks. Like I said, talk to me in a year.

AH, HOW SWEET

It’s always nice to help our wounded soldiers after battle. This fighter lost his eyesight during his stint in Iraq. He and his wife were fortunate enough to meet Shane Battier prior to the USA Senior Hotties Men’s National Team practice in Vegas…By just looking at sisters eyes, I get the sneaking suspicion that she might have found a beneficial way to deal with her hubby’s newfound disability?

WHY STEVE WHY?

Steve Nash cut his hair. I cried. Any questions…?

MENSA REJECTS IN COURT

A judge sided with Michael Jordan in a legal battle between the former NBA Athlebrity and a woman who claimed Jordan reneged on a promise to pay her $5 million in “hush money” when she claimed she was pregnant with his child. Definitive tests showed that Jordan was NOT, in fact, the baby’s daddy. The culprit has been identified as Allen Heckard. Heckard, if you haven’t heard, is suing Michael Jordan et al, for about a trillion dollars. He claims that he looks so much like Mike (NOT) that he is fed up with the public harassment. It’s a no brainer that the judge will toss this case, so take your 15 minutes Heckard- you’re giving us all a great laugh.

HOTTIES ON BIKES

Oh yeah~! After Lance Armstrong announced at the ESPY’s that he and Jake Gyllenhaal were friends, the media frenzy started. (A much healthier obsession than Tomkat). Jake and Lance have been enjoying lovely bike rides together, while Jake butters up Lance for an upcoming bio on his life. Jake is interested in “playing Lance.” Oh, aren’t we all?

FABIO CANNAVARO

Italian soccer beast, Fabio Cannavaro was shocked when I arrived at his front door. After administering ‘mouth-to-mouth’ I rushed him to the hospital where the doctors checked his heart rate. The doc urged him to stay away from “the crazy red head” but Fabio gave me the thumbs up as the doc wasn’t looking.

That’s it for now. As always, thanks for reading. Delinda