HAPPY TRAILS ARE HERE AGAIN!

Sexy Rafael Nadal and his fabulous biceps spanked Jarkko Nieminen right outta Wimbledon, earning himself a spot in the semi-finals where he will take-on Marcos Baghdatis. Rafael’s advancement is no surprise, but the number of Wimbledon crashers on the court is amazing. We gave props to the outstanding streeker a few days ago, and just when things looked like they were settling down, along comes another guy.

An unidentified “protester” invaded Center Court yesterday during the Federer-Ancic match (Yes, Federer won). Military stewards were quick to nab the unruly fan, who claimed to be a protestor from an organization for father’s rights. I have to also give props to the protester. Not because of his Mensa like affiliation with “fathers rights” but because he has also shown us how easy it is to get on the court during a match. Look out Rafi, I’m coming…

Maybe the edible Pittsburgh Steelers linebacker Larry Foote, could take a clue form the protester? Foote has asked a Michigan court to award him custody of a 10-year-old son he says he did not know existed until two years ago. I can hardly wait to see what his ‘baby mama’ looks like, and to find out why it took him 2 years to file a claim? Mark your calendars; a hearing is scheduled for July 5.

KITTY TREATS

Another hottie that needs to keep an eye out for me is Camilo Villegas. The greens serve us notoriously accessible hotties, and while I really wouldn’t jump the kitty during a tournement, I would be extremely tempted. Don’t miss Camilo’s sexy crawling at the Cialis Western Open in Lemont Illinois, which is currently underway.

STOP TALKING AND POSE

Oh, that crazy Terrell Owens. The hot NFL beast has released his latest book today and it’s creating quite a buzz. In the book, Owens whines about Donovan: “Then Donovan added salt to the wound by coming out and saying the Eagles would be better off without me. Donovan’s statement created a public ultimatum for Coach Reid. Left with no choice, Coach Reid suspended me for the season.” Blah, blah, blah…just fill the book with photos T.O. and ya got yourself a bestseller.

VIVA LA LANCE
Lance Armstrong has settled his libel suit against the London Times over a story alleging that he juiced up. The newspaper had reprinted claims that were in the book “L.A. Confidential, The Secrets of Lance Armstrong.” Too bad the paper didn’t reprint any of the information from “The Science of Lance”- a fantastic special which examines Lance’s natural, superior athletic abilities.

YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING
Why is this country so uptight about nudity, particularly boobs? Seriously. I’d like to find one person who was really, truly offended by Janet Jackson’s beautiful boob popping out during the 2004 Superbowl halftime show. Ladies if you have ever enjoyed sunbathing topless, now is the time to start the “Boobs Are No Big Deal” campaign. If we don’t, tan lines from hell remain in our future.

Jackson’s boob made an appearance for only a few seconds, a few seconds that could mark the end of boob exposure as we know it. This incident caught the attention of the Mensa reject monkey running this country, and on June 15th, the monkey picked up a pen and signed a new law increasing fines tenfold for broadcasters who violate decency laws in their programming. The new law is a direct result of a two-year effort to get “tough” on the broadcast of obscene material, following Jackson’s “wardrobe malfunction.” Someone pa-leeze tell me why this constitutes “obscene.” Chalk one up to the monkey for giving the World yet another reason to laugh at us.

That’s it for now. As always, thanks for reading. Delinda