THE PARTY HAS OFFICIALLY STARTED!

Soccer fans are celebrating at the central Fan-Party for the soccer World Cup at the Boulevard ‘Strasse des 17. Juni’. Up to 400,000 of these lucky bastards can celebrate the World Cup at the party area named ‘Fan-Mile’. The letters in the background read: ‘Welcome to the Fan Party Berlin’. (Anyone wanna avoid a suicide attempt on my part and send me a ticket to Germany? Pretty pa-leeze)

Pele is seen here on the big screen at the Fan-Mile (L) and pouring salt in the wounds of an 80’s girl, is Jim Kerr (R), lead singer of the Simple Minds, as he performs during the opening ceremony for the official Berlin fan party.

WAYNE ROONEY
British sports minister Richard Caborn said Rooney’s injury was receiving too much attention, so I thought I would give it more. Caborn said “I think the media has gone a bit mad on it and it masks a little bit that we are taking out the strongest squad probably that we ever sent out since 1966…I still believe the squad that is going out there can actually bring back the World Cup.”

Word is that the little guy is gonna be fine. Rooney was cleared to rejoin England’s World Cup squad after having his right foot examined, although there is no “official” confirmation from either the English Football Association or his club, Man-U. The results of the scans took place at an exclusive hospital and Rooney was smiling as he left. It is not known when, or if Rooney will return to England’s World Cup base near Baden-Baden, a spa town in southern Germany. The results of the scan may not be available until Thursday.

MY HOMEBOYS HAVE LANDED

The Italians have landed in Germany and at this point, I’m on my knee’s praying for a ticket to drop out the sky.

Italy’s two hottest, and most valuable players, Luca Toni (L) and Francesco Totti (R), arrived at Duisburg’s Landhaus Milser hotel where the team will be staying during the World Cup.

ONE OF THE LUCKY FEW

This little rug-rat holds a ball signed by Portuguese national soccer players after a training session Wednesday. I gotta get this kid on my team.

Julio Fernandez dressed his dog “scrappy” in an Ecuadorian soccer team jersey in Quito, Ecuador! Ecuador’s President Alfredo Palacio has announced that public and private companies can both work half-days the day of the match between Ecuador and Poland to allow people to enjoy the game. It is indeed a beautiful game.

A giant portrait of Germany’s captain, Michael Ballack may be all we see of the hottie during the games. Ballack failed to complete the last training session and may not be “fit” enough to play. I’m not sure why missing one training session would render him unfit, and I suspect that Germany will take another look at their roster and get Ballack in the saddle.

A German model dons the “World Cup” hairstyle created by German hairdresser Waltraut Schlagwein. In her garnet-red dyed hair, she has small flags of all 32 participating countries of the upcoming soccer World Cup 2006 in Germany.

Now this is my kind of hang out. An unidentified Gulf Arab man smokes a “water-pipe” and watches soccer today at a coffee shop in Manama, Bahrain.

That’s it for today. As always, thanks for reading. Delinda

RAFAEL NADAL AND HIS BICEPS CRUSH OPPONENT

French Open defending champion, Rafael Nadal defeated Serbia’s Novak Djokovic in their quarterfinal match today. Nadal was so hot on the court that Djokovic retired with a back injury after losing the first two sets.

VIVA LA LANCE!

In support of the Lance Armstrong Foundation, PowerBar today introduced the PowerBar LIVE WELL LIVESTRONG campaign. The hot program includes a sweepstakes, an educational mobile tour and a retail program that includes Whole Foods Market and Wild Oats Markets stores. PowerBar will support the campaign’s efforts with a $200,000 donation to the LAF and will feature the Foundation’s signature yellow wristband on the wrappers of Powerbars. PowerBar kicks off the campaign today with the launch of the PowerBar sweepstakes. One lucky winner will receive the grand prize package — a donation to the LAF in the winner’s name and a trip to Austin, Texas, to meet the hottie himself during the LAF’s annual Ride For the Roses fundraising event in October 2006. Another lucky winner will receive a cycling jersey autographed by Lance. You have until August 22 to register enter.
Visit www.powerbar.com/promo/livewelllivestrong/ for more info.

SIDNEY CROSBY IS GOLD

Rep’s for hockey hottie Sidney Crosby are in talks about an endorsement deal with Subway. Hottie is also apparently being chased by American Express and “a large auto maker” such as General Motors Corp. Most pro hockey players with endorsement contracts earn between $10,000-90,000 a year, but Crosby is so hot, that sources claim he is to receive at least” $500,000 per deal, and as much as $600,000 just from the Subway deal! Crosby’s agent, Pat Brisson, said that “no deal has been finalized [and] he’s still in talks with four restaurant chains and three domestic auto makers about Crosby.”

BLAME IT ON TOM CRUISE
We’ve all had some exposure to Scientology via Hollywood celebrities. While I’m not a Scientology expert, my understanding is that after you have completed the necessary steps to become “clear” a spaceship will return and pick you up. In keeping with the times, Scientology may now switch from the spaceship and use a NASCAR car to pick up its followers instead.

Bridge Publications’ “Dianetics”, the L. Ron Hubbard book about the “religion” is sponsoring a Freedom Motorsports car in a lower-tier NASCAR series. Bridge Publications Senior VP Mark McKinstry said of the move, “Dianetics is the number one self-help best seller; NASCAR is the number one spectator sport in America. It seemed like a perfect match for us.” Making this even more painful,
Freedom Motorsports CEO Grant Cardone said that the Scientology “principles of removing stress and self-doubt will give the Scientologist driver an edge.” The team, headed by driver Kenton Gray, will debut Saturday at a NASCAR Weekly Series race at Irwindale Speedway in California.

JASON GRIMSLEY: LEADED OR UNLEADED?

13 Federal agents raided the home of D’Backs Pitcher Jason Grimsley for six hours yesterday. The Feds were looking for evidence that could identify him as a distributor of human growth hormone [HGH], which is illegal but undetectable in urine tests. Agents would not comment on what they found during the raid, but in case they’re reading, and one of them snagged a jersey, could you send it to me? Investigators who cracked the bullshit Balco steroid scandal said Grimsley initially cooperated in the ‘probe’. Grimsley stopped talking in April, but not before he allegedly made “extensive statements” about illegal drug use, “for the purpose of performance enhancement,” according to the court documents. IRS Agent Jeff Novitsky told the judge that investigators wanted to search Grimsley’s crib for “any and all records showing contact or relationship with any and all amateur or professional athletes, athletic coaches or athletic trainers” regarding illicit drug use and purchases. Grimsley failed a league drug test in 2003. Authorities said when he was cooperating, he admitted to using human growth hormone, amphetamines and steroids. The Mensa reject also added that amphetamine use was prevalent in pro baseball, and that it was placed in coffee in clubhouses, marked “leaded” or “unleaded.” Novitsky also calims that Grimsley told him the names of other players he believed were using, but the names of those players were blacked out of the court records. “I have no comment about that and no idea about that,” Grimsley told the Arizona Republic on Tuesday, hours before the Diamondbacks played the Phillies. Grimsley spent the game in the bullpen and warmed up at one point. Arizona lost the game 10-1.

WORLD CUP OPENING CEREMONY

Friday is almost here, and with it comes the World Cup! The 30-minute opening ceremony in Munich on Friday will be held prior to the opening Costa Rica-Germany match, will feature native music, hip-hop songs, and (I couldn’t make this up) ‘flying women’ who will be lifted to the top of [the] stadium. The kick-off party will include 170 past World Cup hotties, including the legendary Pele and Diego Maradona. In this photo, fans walk under a huge screen over the Boulevard ‘Strasse des 17. Juni’ where the central Fan-Party for the soccer World Cup takes place today in Berlin. The ‘Fan Mile’ can house up to 400,000 soccer fans. Party time!

RONALDINHO HURTS HIS….

A very lucky doctor gets to check on Ronaldinho’s injury after an elastic rope hit him during a training session today. Anyone see what I see?

Italy’s Francesco Totti (L) drives my libido crazy, and as does goalkeeper Gianluigi Buffon (R). Italy’s chance of winning lies on the beautiful shoulders of Totti, who is coming back after a nasty ankle injury. Italy will play in Group E with USA, Czech Republic and Ghana. Group E is officially known as the “Group of Death.” Italy has three world champion titles under their boot. The Czech Republic has been called “stunningly fluid” and Ghana is making their first World Cup appearance. Hope for Ghana comes in the form of Chelsea’s hot Michael Essien, who was acquired last year by Chelsea for $43 million big ones.

Hot, hot, hot Calvin Klein model and world famous Athlebrity, Freddie Ljungberg of Sweden sits on a ball while co-hottie Henrik Larsson stretches behind him. Sweden has ten World Cup appearances and one second place finish.

It just keeps better and better. England’s sexiest players and Chelsea teammates John Terry, left, and Frank Lampard pose for photographs on a bridge in Germany today.

England’s little bulldog, Wayne Rooney went to a private hospital in Manchester, England today. Rooney flew back from Germany for a scan on his injured right foot. Hopefully, the scan will determine whether he’ll be able to play in the World Cup.

England has my estrogen going haywire.

In the church of Athlebritolgy, David Beckham is God. Beckham, second left, puts on a heart rate monitor, while Frank Lampard, left, Gary Neville, bottom, and John Terry, right, prepare during an England national soccer squad training session in Germany. God, (R) stretches during the squad training while I check my heart rate.

Let’s also give some love to the Costa Rican team. The hotties wait for their ICE highspeed train to whisk them away to Munich. Costa Rica will play Germany in the opening match on Friday. I suspect this may be the last we see of this team. Germany is gonna be difficult to beat, as they have 15 World Cup appearances and three titles.

Czech player Pavel Nedved gets some love. Sexy Czech Athlebrity Nedved came out of retirement-thank god- and kicked ass during their playoff matches to bring team Czech to their first World Cup appearance. I even had a local chef bring a soccer field shaped cake to welcome the Czech hotties at the airport in Germany today.

WORLD CUP CELEBRATIONS

A larger-than-life poster (L) of Argentina’s soccer hottie Lionel Messi hangs from a high-rise bank building in the center of Frankfurt. A shop window is decorated with a poster of Brazilian soccer player Roberto Carlos (R).

Against the backdrop of a billboard advertising the World Cup, a group of fans from Palestine are stopped by Israeli soldiers as they have their identification checked at a checkpoint near the West Bank town of Ramallah. As World Cup fever sweeps soccer-mad Arab countries, Mideast governments are scrambling to make sure fans will be able to see the games. But not for free. A Saudi billionaire scooped up exclusive broadcasting rights across the region and is charging stiff fees to watch. Can you say ass-hole! The Arabic writing on the billboard reads, “World Cup 2006, Winning until the end!”

South Korean team members, Darae and Arong, warm-up during a soccer match held in hopes of the South Korean soccer team’s success in the World Cup. South Korea will face France, Togo and Switzerland in the World Cup Group G. This will be the sixth World Cup appearance for the team, with their best finish, 4th place, in 2002. South Korea is going to have a difficult time beating France and Thierry Henry.

That’s it for now. As always, thanks for reading. Delinda

NBA PLAY OFF VIRGINS
The Playoffs are coming! On July 8th the real games begin.
The sun had risen during the first half of the Suns-Mavericks Western Conference showdown. The Suns blinded the Mavericks, that’s is - until halftime. I suspect this is when Mark Cuban told his boys they’d each get a HUGE bonus if they won. Whatever pep talk was given, it worked. The Mavericks kicked ass in the second half with their acrobatic shots and successfully put Steve (yummy) Nash in his place. The upcoming playoffs are a first for both the Mavericks, and the Eastern Conference Champions, the Miami Heat. Mad love to Mark Cuban, Avery Johnson and all the Mav’s hotties for making the impossible happen. *Gotta give props to the Suns fans, who stayed until the last hottie left the court. That’s what I call a classy town.

The NBA is finally catching on. We like out hotties and we like our games. Targeting those women who haven’t yet figured it out, the NBA are running ads featuring Dwyane Wade, Shaq, Steve Nash and Dirk Nowitzki, in People, US Weekly, Entertainment Weekly and In Touch. NBA Commissioner David Stern said, “We’re saying to ourselves, ‘We’re in a very sweet spot, a great intersection. Let’s reach out not necessarily to the hard-core fan, which we think we will maintain and hold, but to women, the potential fan, who realizes there’s something going on.’” No shit Stern!

Meanwhile, the Mavericks suspended DJ Mbenga for six games after he and Mark Cuban went “into the stands to aid Cassandra Johnson” when she got into a fight with Suns fans during Mavericks-Suns Game Four. The NBA took no action against Cuban. NBA Senior VP/Basketball Operations Stu Jackson said, “In most cases, albeit except for Mark Cuban, most owners are already in the stands. Obviously, Mark is a very intelligent man, and according to our investigation, he handled it appropriately.”

CALLING ALL RED SOX FANS

Now is your chance. Fox is seeking families that are Red Sox fans for its third season of “Trading Spouses: Meet Your New Mommy.” Had this show been called Meet Your New Manny, I’d be there.

RAFAEL NADAL BEATS LLEYTON HEWITT

Sexy Spaniard Rafael Nadal (L) has advanced to the quarterfinals after spanking hot Aussie Lleyton Hewitt (R) out of the French Open. One step closer to a (fingers-crossed) Nadal Federer final.

WORLD CUP MUSIC

A song called “Bamboo” has been chosen as the official melody of the FIFA World Cup. This is the first time the World Cup has launched a campaign around an “official melody.” Bamboo will be used in FIFA remixes of hit songs, and will be featured in advertising by World Cup sponsors. The tune will also be featured on Sony BMG’s official FIFA music compilation called “Voices.” The compilation includes songs by Il Divo, Toni Braxton, Shakira, Wyclef Jean, Elton John, Elvis Presley and Kelly Clarkson, among others. Il Divo and Braxton will sing “The Time of Our Lives” at halftime and at the tournament final July 9. Shakira and Jean will perform a FIFA remix of “Hips Don’t Lie” at the final. Wonder how Toni Braxton is gonna hold-up after her horrible appearence on American Idol?

WORLD CUP TOUCHDOWNS

When you land in Germany, the hotties are waiting for you at the terminal. The large billboard welcomes travelers at Frankfurt’s International airport. I think once the games have started, I will configure an airtight plan to ‘liberate’ the billboard and bring it home with me.

This one is easy. England’s soccer team took off from London. David Beckham boarded the plane and went directly to the cockpit where he draped a ‘Cross of St. George’ from the plane and sent a few thousand supporters into ‘estrogen induced comas.’

John Terry is in the house! Keep an eye on John Terry, as he is the most enthusiastic and exciting hottie on the team. Trust me on this.

After landing in Germany this morning, the strange ‘estrogen induced comas’ continued. David Beckham, and Wayne Rooney in suits? Holla!

U.S. team pin-up boy, Landon Donovan has been running, stretching, dribbling and teasing us in preparations for the World Cup.

Didier Drogba, left, and hotties of the Ivory Coast national soccer team, also landed in Germany today. An airport employee held up a self made sign for his fellow countrymen from the Ivory Coast upon their arrival at the airport. The sign reads: ‘Hello guys and welcome to Germany. You remember, Cameroon did beat Maradona’s Argentina. Now it’s your turn. Make us happy. All of Africa is behind you. Thanks in advance. Kapela.’

The “Mud Flats Soccer World Championships” in the River Elbe in northern Germany, was in full swing on Sunday.

Stretching our imaginations is Germany’s soccer team. Other hotties have me considering a career change to become a physical therapist.

STREETS OF THE WORLD

The streets of Brazil (L) have come alive, while Germany (C) displays a giant soccer shoe and the Japanese get dressed up.

Now this is how I wanna get my autographs. Mad love to this young Portuguese fan who hit up luscious Luis Figo while he was stretching.

MENSA REJECT ALERT

First we had to accept people seeing Jesus and the Virgin Mary in their food. Now, Beate Weinstein feels that the chocolate in her marble cake resembles to the FIFA Football World Cup trophy. (Do they smoke hash in Germany?) Weinstein is now selling “the slice” on EBay, but really, there’s only one place this piece of cake should go, and its currently covered in a tiny soccer net.

As always, thanks for reading. Delinda

**Publishing notice** I’m taking the day off tomorrow and will be back on Wednesday.

GOLF HOTTIES

Athlebrity favorite, Camilo Villegas drove from the first tee in the rain during the second round of The Memorial at Muirfield Village Golf Club yesterday. The sexy lawn-kat finished the second round tied at 92 and unfortunately didn’t “make the cut.”

Adam Scott watches his tee shot on the ninth hole during the completion of the second round of the Memorial Tournament today. Sexy Scott is currently kicking ass and remains in the top five.

RA-FEE UGH RA-FEE-UGH

Rafael Nadal defeated Paul-Henri Mathieu at the French Open today. The musical grunting of the two hotties reverberated in my libido with Rafael’s “ugh” and Mathieus return “ra-fee”. Ugh, ra-fee, Ugh, ra-fee. Beautiful. Nadal had a slight problem during the game after nibbling on a banana that got lodged in his throat. Once the banana was properly swallowed, Nadal came back looking like a man on a mission. His hot angry, irritated self, accented with wisps of sexy facial hair reminded us that today, on his 20th birthday, he has plenty to celebrate.

Dwyane Wade isn’t where he is just because he’s hot. Although Wade spent the night in a hospital, hooked up to an I.V. and puking, he didn’t give up and the Heat are on their way to their first NBA Playoffs ever! In a surprise spanking, the Pistons went down 95-78 to the Heat. Shaq attacked like never before and pulled his weight while his hot sidekick, Wade, persevered. No more Big Bad Ben Wallace until next season…

So I know it’s hot at the games if you sit courtside, but I had no idea. Heating it up at Game 6 of the NBA Eastern Finals between the Miami Heat and the Detroit Piston was actor Chris Tucker (L) and his chick magnet, and hot, hot, hot, Randy Moss. I wonder if he turned around and saw the scary fans sitting behind him?

I gotta give props to that tall drink of Dirk Nowitzki. The German beast scored a playoff career high 50 points against the Suns in game five of the Western Conference Finals on June 1. Think it took a toll on his body?

Is NOTHING sacred anymore? Football, in particular, the Steelers, are now tainted by President Bush. The White House reverberated with the sound of an excited chimp on Friday when President Bush recognized the Steelers. “It sounds like some people have been drinking some Iron City beer here,” Bush joked after walking into the East Room, where the team was assembled. “I was a Texas Cowboy fan, you know, Dallas Cowboy fan,” Bush told them. “It’s kind of hard for me to admit, but the Steeler franchise is one of the really great franchises in football history.” The team gave the chimp a jersey emblazoned with “43″ to represent, in trillions, the national debt. He also received a signed football by some of the hotties. “They may have some interesting characters on the team, but one thing the Pittsburgh Steelers learned to do was play as a unit, and that’s why you’re standing right here,” Bush said. “They said you didn’t have a chance…I kind of know the feeling.” Please visit www.bushorchimp.com if you also see a chimp running the office and not a man.

He’s back and hotter than ever! Terrell Owens arrived at his locker prior to an afternoon workout at a mini-camp at the Dallas Cowboys training facility in Irving, Texas, Friday. I say Goddamn!

WORLD CUP

Italy’s Francesco Totti. There’s nothing else to say.

WHAT HAPPENS IN GERMANY…

…STAYS IN GERMANY…

SCARY FANS

I would hate to piss off this scary little german girl, or the fans of Angola.

That’s it for today. As always, thanks for reading. Delinda

GOLF HOTTIES AT THE MEMORIAL TOURNEMENT

Are they twins? Adam Scott (R) gave us some yummy hits during the first round of the Memorial Tournament at Muirfield Village Golf Club in Ohio yesterday. Unfortunately, play is currently suspended due to rain. Our favorite lawn-kat, Camilo Villegas is projected to “make the cut” but we’ll have to wait for the clear skies before we see him crawl.

Kevin Hall has been deaf since the age of two, leaving him with a sharp mind and an astute sense of what’s hot. When asked if he was nervous about playing in the biggest tournament of his life, the hot 23 year-old said: “I like it now, because there’s so many pretty girls in the gallery.” This is Halls third event this year, and I expect we’ll be seeing a lot more of him. When he was 16, Hall met Tiger Woods at Hall’s home course in Cincinnati. Woods gave him some individual instruction, and then added; “I’ll see you on the tour some day.” Hall said through a signer, “If Tiger says something he means it, so I believe him.”

BAD, BAD BOYS
SEAN TAYLOR

Washington Redskins football player Sean Taylor entered a plea of no contest to two misdemeanor counts for a June 2005 incident in, where-else, Miami. The plea is a ‘get out of jail free’ card for Taylor, as he is expected to avoid any jail time and might not miss any of the upcoming NFL season. Taylor faces a year and a half probation, during which time he is to speak at a total of 10 schools and donate $1,000 to each school in form of a scholarship fund. The hot 23-year-old faced a maximum of 46 years in prison if convicted- all this because somebody stole his all-terrain vehicles.

A.J. NICHOLSON

Now this guy is great! Bengals linebacker A.J. Nicholson has to go to Florida on Saturday to face charges of burglarizing the apartment of a former Florida State teammate. Nicholson and Fred Rouse, another former Florida State teammate, allegedly broke into the apartment of Seminoles running back Lorenzo Booker and stole $1,700 worth of electronic equipment. All together now- Mensa rejects. Both are facing felony counts of burglary and grand theft. Nicholson also is charged with “criminal mischief” for damaging the apartment. Nicholson is no stranger to danger and has an impressive his history of off-field problems at Florida State. At one point, he was suspended for taking a woman to the team hotel where she accused him of (OH!) sexual assault.

SCOTT SAUERBECK

Now this is fun. Scott Sauerbeck of the Indians pleaded not guilty yesterday to charges that he and a drunk Lily Miller ran from the pitcher’s car and hid in the bushes after the po-po noticed the car weaving. The 34-year-old Mensa rejec pleaded not guilty to obstructing official business and allowing the drunken floozy to drive his car. The pretrial hearing is June 22, with trial set for July 11. On Tuesday, the reject apologized to his family and teammates. General manager Mark Shapiro said the team doesn’t plan to discipline him aside from a wicked spanking.

TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALLGAME

This is the kind of seventh inning stretch I’m talking about. Hot American Idol contestant Ace Young sang “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” during the 7th inning stretch when the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim took on the Minnesota Twins on May 31. I got your 7th inning stretch right here Ace!

FRENCH OPEN HOTTIES

Rafael Nadal won his 55th straight match on clay today and advanced to the French Open’s third round. During the first round he broke the Open-era record for the longest clay-court winning streak, and he’s now 9-0 at Roland Garros, and still owns the hottest biceps in tennis. “I was happy for the record, but for me the most important thing is Roland Garros,” Nadal said. “I was especially nervous in the first round and second round for Roland Garros. I’m playing a difficult tournament.” Tomorrow is Raphael’s 20th birthday, but he’ll first play Paul-Henri Mathieu before celebrating. “We’ll see what happens in the final,” he said. “Why not have a party, but later?” *Hey Raphael, I think my invite got lost in the mail?

James Blake is the only American left in the men’s competition. Blake breezed past “clay-court specialist Nicolas Almagro” 6-7 (5), 6-2, 6-4, 6-4. “As long as we have one (American) that’s a good sign,” he said. “It’s an interesting role.” Blake reached the third round at Roland Garros for the first time in four tries. “I definitely feel so much more comfortable on the surface now,” Blake said. “I’m not going into the clay-court part of the year with dread. It’s exciting at 26 years old to be getting better.” And it’s even more exciting for us to watch his awesome talent and incredible body work that clay.

THE FRENCH JUST WON’T ADMIT IT!
The French newspaper that accused Lance Armstrong of doping stands by their absurd report even after an investigator cleared the seven-time Tour de France champion. “There is nothing to retract from the revelations,” L’Equipe said in an editorial that concluded: “For our part, we remain convinced of the need to battle without compromise against the mafia like tendencies that still and always threaten the sport of cycling. Both in the method and the substance, L’Equipe stands firm.” Is this guy talking out of his ass or what? How do you equate “mafia like” and “cycling” with Lance Armstrong? Hey France, I know it hurts, but the hot, clean, humble and honest Armstrong has much more credibility than your “oh-I-can’t-believe-an-American-keeps-winning-our-race” attitude.

WORLD CUP HOTTIES AND ODDITIES

David Beckham, David Beckham, and David Beckham.

We’ve got a hot one from Spain. Raul Gonzalez and a plastic figurine made an appearance at a news conference today. *Note to readers: I want one!

Check out the hot, hotter and hottest Czechs. Marek Jankulovski, Zdenek Grygera, and Pavel Nedved run to me during the Czech national soccer team training session.

LANDON DONOVAN AND THE US TEAM HAVE LANDED.

Touchdown! Members of the US national soccer team arrived at the Hamburg airport today. The mob scene was riddled with hot players, machine gun toting cops and the “unmarked” US team bus.

I love their enthusiasm, but German supporters scare me. Japan has proudly supported their team in a less scary way.

How do I get his job? A lucky worker holds up Wayne Rooney’s shirt as she stands among the rest of the team’s official kit. Workers at the small premises have been working overtime applying numbers and lettering to make sure the England football team get to the World Cup in their hot outfits, with each player getting two shirts for each match. Had I been working, each team member would have gotten only one shirt each.

That’s it for today. As always, thanks for reading. Delinda

LANCE IS CLEARED

I wonder if Bode the mouth Miller has heard the news? Dutch investigators hired by the Int’l Cycling Union issued a report that cleared Lance Armstrong of doping allegations during the ’99 Tour de France. The report said that drug testers “had mishandled Armstrong’s urine samples, so any positive results fail to ‘constitute evidence of anything.’” No dah!

CRACKING THE ROCKIES CODE
Are they or aren’t they guided by God? Several Rockies players “reacted negatively to the portrayal of their clubhouse” in the USA Today story that ran Wednesday. The article “stressed the importance of Christianity,” saying that “character, not religion, is the critical factor.” Rockies hotties Jason Jennings and Todd Helton were quoted in the story “supporting the … premise regarding religion’s role in the clubhouse.” Jennings said the story “was misleading.” Helton added, “I wouldn’t say it was accurate. (The writer) asked me about the guys in here and I said it’s a good group. We work hard and get along well.” Aaron Cook said, “I have never seen a Bible (out in the open) in our clubhouse. Most of the guys on this team are Christians, but not all of them. And the fact is you don’t build a winner around just Christians. … You need the best players. I think the story was an accurate portrayal of the front office. But as for the players, it was just way over the top.” Does this mean you guys are okay with premarital sex?

AMBULANCE CHASING REGGIE BUSH
According to the LA Times, the FBI has opened an investigation into San Diego-based New Era Sports & Entertainment and its attempted recruitment of Reggie Bush. Attorney David Cornwell, who is representing the Bush family, said that he “had a ‘lengthy’ phone call with an FBI agent last week.” Cornwell: “They’re definitely investigating federal crimes, but they didn’t identify which crimes or which federal statutes are involved.” Cornwell added that he “planned to help the FBI arrange interviews with Bush and his parents.” However, San Diego based ambulance chaser attorney Brian Watkins, who represents New Era Sports & Entertainment called the suggestion of an FBI investigation ‘ludicrous’ and ‘a media ploy.’ Watkins also said, “neither he nor his clients had been contacted by the FBI and he suggested that Cornwell was using his own personal contacts to stir up an inquiry.” Watkins has said that his clients plan to sue the Bush family for $3.2M, which includes $300,000 in business-related expenses plus punitive damages.

ROCKING IN DETROIT

Hot, hot, hot, Kid Rock is always supporting the Pistons. Detroit fought back against the Miami Heat in game five of the Eastern Conference Finals last night at the Palace and defeated the Heat 91-78. The Heat leads the series 3-2, but don’t count the Pistons out just yet. The old school, badass, inner-city ball playing Pistons can win the series if they keep it turned on. Either way, watching Shaq take on Big Bad Beautiful Ben Wallace is enough to keep me cheering for either team.

SUNS WEEK?
One team I’m not cheering for are the Suns. Why? Several reasons, one of which involves an ape. Yesterday, Arizona Governor Janet Napolitano proclaimed the week to be “Suns week.”

With the NBA Playoffs coming to a head, presidents from the remaining clubs participated in a lighthearted Q&A with Sports Business Daily Staff Writer Brad Pinkerton.
Q: Who do your fans tend to gravitate toward most that we might not expect?
A: (Suns) How about Mike D’Antoni, Robert Sarver and The Gorilla?
A: (Pistons)Tayshaun Prince — the teenage girls love him. A team with four all-stars, and Tayshaun is the guy girls love.

Q: Who on the team (or in the front office) has the most interesting talent off the court?
A: (Mav’s) Everyone knows that Dirk [Nowitzki] plays the saxophone, but Marquis Daniels is an incredible dresser. He would say his fashion sense and his sense of style is pretty unique. Although, [Jerry] Stackhouse would give him a run for his money on that one.
A: (Pistons) Rasheed is a great artist. He’s an extraordinarily talented painter and artist.

CHELSEA

Chelsea have inked hot Ukrainian striker Andriy Shevchenko to a four-year deal for a club record fee, believed to be around 30 million pounds. Shevchenko is arguably the hottest finisher in European football. And for 30 million pounds, he’d better be. “I am here for the challenge and the excitement of playing in the Premier League. Chelsea is going for their third Premiership as well and I like the club’s mentality of wanting to win every game they play.” I’m purring with excitement. In the above photo, Shevchenko holds stamps with his image during a press conference in Kiev 23 May 2006. The stamps were printed by Ukraine’s postal service to promote the upcoming World Cup 2006.

U.S. SOCCER PIN-UP BOYS
Hot U.S. soccer players Landon Donovan, Oguchi Onyewu, Clint Dempsey, Marcus Hahnemann and Jimmy Conrad appeared on ABC’s “Good Morning America” today to hype up the World Cup. Sexy Donovan on the attention: “It’s nice man. We haven’t had this before. 2002 wasn’t like this, and now we’re on ‘Good Morning America’ before we leave, so it’s cool.” Landon is also featured in a Q&A with Greg Lalas in this month’s (Oh!) Penthouse, where he says he does not want “to be out doing young people’s stuff all the time.” When Lalas points out that “must not mesh very well with being the poster boy for U.S. soccer,” Donovan responds, “I could pretend to go out and be crazy and bring more attention to our sport, but that’s not me. I’m happy with where I am in my life, with what I do.” Guess I’m off to the adult bookstore today.

WORLD CUP

Now this is what I’m talking about! If France’s Djibril Cisse doesn’t make your pulse race and your libido flutter, something is wrong with you. New rule: World Cup games must be played topless.

Edmilson may be hanging with Wayne Rooney during the games. The hot Brazilian announced his resignation from the national football team due to an injury in his right knee. Edmilson cried during the heart-breaking news conference and explained that examinations showed he would not be able to recover in time to play in the World Cup.

Speaking of that little bulldog, Rooney attended a training session today where Britain’s Prince William (L) made an appearance. What would bring a Prince to a field? England’s Peter Crouch did a bizarre-goal-celebration dance the other day, and the Prince had to see it first hand. “The Crouch” is all the rage right now and currently sweeping England faster than the Macarena assaulted us. Prince William was given a personal demonstration of “The Crouch.” And yes, David Beckham was there laughing.

WHAT GOES ON IN GERMANY, STAYS IN GERMANY

Ivan Klasnic and Josip Simunic (R) of Croatia’s national soccer team greet each other after arriving with their team at Hanover airport.

STRETCH IT OUT BOYS

Italy’s national soccer team star Francesco Totti is driving me absolutely nuts! Veni qua me amore! (R) Italians Vincenzo Iaquinta, left, and oh-my-god, Francesco Totti can NOT sit like that. I would like to concentrate on the games and not obsess over how to get to Germany to find Totti.

Germany’s hot goalkeeper Jens Lehmann stretches my libido to it’s limit during practice at the LTU Arena stadium in Duesseldorf, while another one of Germany’s treats, Oliver Kahn (R) stretches my imagination.

LEAVE YOUR WEAPONS, BUT BRING YOUR COCK!

It’s a big, wide, wonderful, world out there and it gets more interesting by the minute. This graphic illustrates security measures in the stadiums for the World Cup. You can’t bring in “arms, dangerous objects, or alcohol.” You can however, bring your own cock. This French soccer fan brought his cock to a friendly match between France and Denmark at the Bollaert Stadium in Lens, northern France, Wednesday May, 31, 2006. He then took it home, killed it and ate it with a fine white wine.

That’s it for now. As always, thanks for reading. Delinda