WHO IS THE BEST TEAM IN THE NBA?

The Miami Heat spanked the bitter and angry Mavericks last night 95-92, to win their first NBA Championships, and giving Dwyane Wade his much deserved (MVP) Most Visually Pleasing Award.

Answering my prayers, and Dwyane Wade’s, God finally got Alonzo Mourning to take off his shirt.

While Zo (L) and Wade arrive back to the city of love, James Posey has me in a frenzy trying to get my Supertwin powers to “activiate, form of, the NBA trophy.”

I’m not sure the Mavericks even saw the Heat coming. Certainly, Wheaties knew the Heat were going to win, as they will issue a special-edition commemorative package honoring the NBA Champions, a special edition box which was passed around the Heat locker room following their victory. The 18-ounce Heat Wheaties box will be available nationally beginning in the next 2-3 weeks. The box features the dynamic duo of Shaq and Dwyane Wade on the front and a hot Heat team photo on the back. This is the second Wheaties box appearance for O’Neal and the first for Wade.

While Miami was in par-tay mode, Dallas wasn’t taking the loss very well. Three people, all Mavericks fans, were arrested on misdemeanor assault charges, and one was treated at the scene after a fight in the arena parking lot. Police said “tension from the game” contributed to the incident. After Mark Cuban was fined $250k for lipping off the other night, he continued to be a bad sport and bad influence on his fans. “I’m fine with the fine. I accepted it. It’s a business expense.” Cuban, on the NBA fine. The classy Cuban gave the interview while on a stair-climbing machine in the Mavericks’ locker room with his back to reporters!

Adding insult to injury, Mavericks fans, acting as classy as their owner, loudly booed the Commish during the hot, hot, hot, post game trophy presentation. Not accepting the fact that they got outplayed, the Mav’s fans are looking to place blame. “If we believe that the last great conspiracy theory in Dallas was JFK’s death, the second greatest conspiracy theory was that David Stern wanted the Miami Heat to win the championship,” said fan George Graffy, 41. “I’m bummed, I’m going to go drink heavily. It will not be a good night,” said James Jones, a Mensa reject who sported a suit, tie and a blue mohawk for the game. “I paid $1,200 for these tickets, and we did not win,” cried Ashleigh Adams. But my all-time favorite Mensa reject fan is Korby Keene, whose intelligence is poignantly reflected in his statement: “We got the coach. We got the team. We wanted it all this year, though. The Heat aren’t that good. The refs gave them the game.”

TWO TICKETS TO PARADISE
Fox Soccer Channel’s Max Bretos and Bobby McMahon, the hot hosts of the network’s “Ticket to Germany,” will be available by phone to offer commentary on the U.S. team, as well as on all the action-taking place in Germany. Today through Friday the 23rd, hotties will field calls from fans starting at 5:00 PM (PT) “Ticket to Germany” is a cool half-hour show offering in-depth World Cup analysis. The show pays special attention to Team USA, those hot Brits that make up the English team, and even has MLS Athlebrity and eternally sexy Cobi Jones working his on-screen magic.

WE CANT IGNORE BRAZIL ANYMORE
So yesterday, as I was getting my coffee from the Brazilian drive-through, one of the girls working there was puzzled by the fact that I was sporting my Italian team jersey. I informed her that the Italians are the hottest team…and so are the Czechs, and English, and the Swedes…The US might get more attention if they let it all hang out. My reluctance to cheer for Team Brazil evaporated in eight seconds.

Names, stats etc, not important here, our priorities are straight, these guys play for Brazil, and that’s wall we need to know. I suspect you may tune into their next game?

YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME?

The hot new Nike ad featuring Wayne Rooney (see yesterdays blog) has caused quite a few panties to wad up. Wayne Rooney in a sexy “Christ-like pose … drenched in blood-red paint and screaming a war-cry” drew complaints to the Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) watchdog group “on religious grounds within hours of the advert being posted” according to the London Daily Mail. An ASA spokesperson said that the people who had complained about the ad saw it in either a 60-foot roadside billboard in West London or in national newspapers, and “all thought the picture was a reference to the crucifixion.” Wieden & Kennedy, London, which produced the ad, would not discuss it, but a Nike spokesperson said that it “would not be shown nationwide or in other countries.” NO! The spokesperson said, “It was intended solely as a celebration of Rooney’s return to the team and is based on his own trademark goal-scoring celebration, nothing to do with the crucifixion at all…the red paint is not meant to be blood, it’s just echoing the body paint which fans cover themselves in and the rest of Wayne’s body is painted white. It’s the flag of St. George, and nothing else. … If we have offended anyone on those grounds, we would stress it was unintentional and we apologize.” I stress that the ad is one of the hottest Nike has produced in a long time and the ASA needs to chill out. The World Cup has effectively brought the Beautiful Game into our homes and for a few “religious” nuts to bring us down is unacceptable. Next thing you know, the ASA is going to be cracking down on the church of Athlebritolgy, which as you all know, is ruled by English team captain, David ‘God’ Beckham. Seems fitting that Wayne Rooney is now being compared to Jesus Christ.

ON LINE DATING SITE FOR RED SOX FANS
I love this guy! According to the Boston Globe, Tim Lampia has founded an online dating service for Red Sox fans called MatchingSox.com that “works like most other dating sites, with a search tool that turns up matches according to gender, age, and location.” The site is not affiliated with MLB or the Red Sox. Users fill out standard information about themselves, but also “list whether they bat left or right and their favorite players.” Also, their photos “show up on the screen like baseball cards.” While membership costs $4.95 a week, or $34.95 annually, Lampia said that he “has yet to make any money” since starting the site last March. MLB asked him to stop handing out leaflets at Red Sox games to promote the site and giving out “free game tickets for blind dates,” saying that he was “improperly using league material.” For that reason alone, I will promote this guys and his site. MLB needs to suck it up- this is a fantastic idea for fans of any team, and I give props to Tim Lampia for this genius idea.

That’s it for today. As always, thanks for reading. Delinda