GOLF HOTTIES AT THE MEMORIAL TOURNEMENT

Are they twins? Adam Scott (R) gave us some yummy hits during the first round of the Memorial Tournament at Muirfield Village Golf Club in Ohio yesterday. Unfortunately, play is currently suspended due to rain. Our favorite lawn-kat, Camilo Villegas is projected to “make the cut” but we’ll have to wait for the clear skies before we see him crawl.

Kevin Hall has been deaf since the age of two, leaving him with a sharp mind and an astute sense of what’s hot. When asked if he was nervous about playing in the biggest tournament of his life, the hot 23 year-old said: “I like it now, because there’s so many pretty girls in the gallery.” This is Halls third event this year, and I expect we’ll be seeing a lot more of him. When he was 16, Hall met Tiger Woods at Hall’s home course in Cincinnati. Woods gave him some individual instruction, and then added; “I’ll see you on the tour some day.” Hall said through a signer, “If Tiger says something he means it, so I believe him.”

BAD, BAD BOYS
SEAN TAYLOR

Washington Redskins football player Sean Taylor entered a plea of no contest to two misdemeanor counts for a June 2005 incident in, where-else, Miami. The plea is a ‘get out of jail free’ card for Taylor, as he is expected to avoid any jail time and might not miss any of the upcoming NFL season. Taylor faces a year and a half probation, during which time he is to speak at a total of 10 schools and donate $1,000 to each school in form of a scholarship fund. The hot 23-year-old faced a maximum of 46 years in prison if convicted- all this because somebody stole his all-terrain vehicles.

A.J. NICHOLSON

Now this guy is great! Bengals linebacker A.J. Nicholson has to go to Florida on Saturday to face charges of burglarizing the apartment of a former Florida State teammate. Nicholson and Fred Rouse, another former Florida State teammate, allegedly broke into the apartment of Seminoles running back Lorenzo Booker and stole $1,700 worth of electronic equipment. All together now- Mensa rejects. Both are facing felony counts of burglary and grand theft. Nicholson also is charged with “criminal mischief” for damaging the apartment. Nicholson is no stranger to danger and has an impressive his history of off-field problems at Florida State. At one point, he was suspended for taking a woman to the team hotel where she accused him of (OH!) sexual assault.

SCOTT SAUERBECK

Now this is fun. Scott Sauerbeck of the Indians pleaded not guilty yesterday to charges that he and a drunk Lily Miller ran from the pitcher’s car and hid in the bushes after the po-po noticed the car weaving. The 34-year-old Mensa rejec pleaded not guilty to obstructing official business and allowing the drunken floozy to drive his car. The pretrial hearing is June 22, with trial set for July 11. On Tuesday, the reject apologized to his family and teammates. General manager Mark Shapiro said the team doesn’t plan to discipline him aside from a wicked spanking.

TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALLGAME

This is the kind of seventh inning stretch I’m talking about. Hot American Idol contestant Ace Young sang “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” during the 7th inning stretch when the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim took on the Minnesota Twins on May 31. I got your 7th inning stretch right here Ace!

FRENCH OPEN HOTTIES

Rafael Nadal won his 55th straight match on clay today and advanced to the French Open’s third round. During the first round he broke the Open-era record for the longest clay-court winning streak, and he’s now 9-0 at Roland Garros, and still owns the hottest biceps in tennis. “I was happy for the record, but for me the most important thing is Roland Garros,” Nadal said. “I was especially nervous in the first round and second round for Roland Garros. I’m playing a difficult tournament.” Tomorrow is Raphael’s 20th birthday, but he’ll first play Paul-Henri Mathieu before celebrating. “We’ll see what happens in the final,” he said. “Why not have a party, but later?” *Hey Raphael, I think my invite got lost in the mail?

James Blake is the only American left in the men’s competition. Blake breezed past “clay-court specialist Nicolas Almagro” 6-7 (5), 6-2, 6-4, 6-4. “As long as we have one (American) that’s a good sign,” he said. “It’s an interesting role.” Blake reached the third round at Roland Garros for the first time in four tries. “I definitely feel so much more comfortable on the surface now,” Blake said. “I’m not going into the clay-court part of the year with dread. It’s exciting at 26 years old to be getting better.” And it’s even more exciting for us to watch his awesome talent and incredible body work that clay.

THE FRENCH JUST WON’T ADMIT IT!
The French newspaper that accused Lance Armstrong of doping stands by their absurd report even after an investigator cleared the seven-time Tour de France champion. “There is nothing to retract from the revelations,” L’Equipe said in an editorial that concluded: “For our part, we remain convinced of the need to battle without compromise against the mafia like tendencies that still and always threaten the sport of cycling. Both in the method and the substance, L’Equipe stands firm.” Is this guy talking out of his ass or what? How do you equate “mafia like” and “cycling” with Lance Armstrong? Hey France, I know it hurts, but the hot, clean, humble and honest Armstrong has much more credibility than your “oh-I-can’t-believe-an-American-keeps-winning-our-race” attitude.

WORLD CUP HOTTIES AND ODDITIES

David Beckham, David Beckham, and David Beckham.

We’ve got a hot one from Spain. Raul Gonzalez and a plastic figurine made an appearance at a news conference today. *Note to readers: I want one!

Check out the hot, hotter and hottest Czechs. Marek Jankulovski, Zdenek Grygera, and Pavel Nedved run to me during the Czech national soccer team training session.

LANDON DONOVAN AND THE US TEAM HAVE LANDED.

Touchdown! Members of the US national soccer team arrived at the Hamburg airport today. The mob scene was riddled with hot players, machine gun toting cops and the “unmarked” US team bus.

I love their enthusiasm, but German supporters scare me. Japan has proudly supported their team in a less scary way.

How do I get his job? A lucky worker holds up Wayne Rooney’s shirt as she stands among the rest of the team’s official kit. Workers at the small premises have been working overtime applying numbers and lettering to make sure the England football team get to the World Cup in their hot outfits, with each player getting two shirts for each match. Had I been working, each team member would have gotten only one shirt each.

That’s it for today. As always, thanks for reading. Delinda